"perhaps this is the problem, if there was better support out there for new mums, some of us wouldnt have turned to a book because i admit thats exactly what i did do, i didnt go looking for it, i just came across it and when i read the structured timetable it as a relief!
I did get support to some degree, but also felt very anxious that i was failing with my baby, so it was still easier for me to look at a book than actually just say, help me. I do believe all the things in the book can and are picked up naturally, but not all of us have faaith in our own instincts, especially first time mums, and those with no family or friends or internet!"
To me this is the problem with GF style books, they prescibe a routine and don't actually encourage mothers to listen to thier instincts. EG; it is instinctive to rock your baby to sleep, but "the books" tell you not to do this, it is instinctive to pick your baby up when it cries (and generally offer it a boob to soothe it) but "the books" tell you not to. And so on.......
When we abdicate our decision making status and give it to a book, particularly one written by someone who has not had thier own children (I used to be a nanny, I do know, now, how different it is when it is your child!) and who has no emotional (and instinctive) connection with your baby, then you run the risk of not being as sensitive to your babys needs etc as you might be if you were listening and allowing yourself to respond from your gut. How many of us were told that "you'll spoil that baby if you keep picking it up" by a midwife/health visitor/MIL etc?
If we are going to read books we need to read ones that help us be the best mother we can be, not ones who tell us exactly what to do when, as, cliche though it may sound like, every baby is different and no two are the same, some sleep, some cat nap, some feed like a starving man, some snack, some like to lie flat, others need to be held upright, and so on, and so on......
And before anyone else says it, YES, I have read it, I've also read "Three in a bed", "Attachment Parenting" (the sears one and the granju one) and "why love matters" and these are far better as they explain why babies do the things they do, what they instinctively expect and offer suggestions of how to meet those needs without becoming a total slave to either the babys demands or a timetable.