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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

21 months and not talking

48 replies

kay1981 · 15/04/2008 16:45

My DS is 21 months and just babbles, mamama, dadadad, vavavavava, dedededede, not actually saying anything, although he was early in the physical stages, sitting, crawling, walking, just not talking.

He hears perfectly and understands -absolutely- everything you say (whether you want him to or not!) and points to stuff he wants, but wont say it, or to be more precise, he grunts.

He will, for example, give me his juice cup, grab hold of my jumper, haul me into the kitchen, open the cupboard, take out his juice and just grunts at me. Ive tried not giving it to him unless he says "juice", but he just either cries or walks away indifferently!

My HV says id he not said anything by 2 then go back, the babbling has just started so does that mean his speech is coming along? Should i do something now or shall i just enjoy the peace while it lasts? BTW, I didnt speak until i was 2.5

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gagarin · 15/04/2008 17:39

Sounds as though your HV is right - it's only 4 months until he's 2 and you can monitor his progress over the next few months.

IMO understanding is more important that expressive language at this stage.

And withholding things until he says the words won't work!

Best to hand him the drink and say "oh, you want your JUICE" and emphasise the word JUICE (not shout it though!). It'll help him link the word to the object.

gagarin · 15/04/2008 17:39

Oops - 3 months.....

loulou33 · 15/04/2008 19:45

Someone once told me that boys ( sexist i know but bear with me) are either walkers or talkers. My ds was later to walk (16 months) but ealry to talk and at 2 1/4 never shuts up!!!

Your ds understands words, sounds like he just doesn't feel the need to use them when he can show you instead!! If the babbling only just started i might wait a bit and just talk to him a lot repeating certain words like juice, cup, chair etc and see how he goes. Good luck

fizzbuzz · 15/04/2008 20:35

My ds talked very late, was just babbling at 21 mo. Really only started talking at 2 and a bit.

He then went on to talk the hind leg of a donkey for the next 11 years of his life. Now as a teenager he has returned to grunting again

However he was diagnosed as dyslexic at 7 and this can hamper speech development

cosieblanki · 15/04/2008 20:42

My Ds is 1 MO and sound just like your little one. He understands (seemingly) nearly everything we say to him and can express himself really well using sounds, gestures etc but WILL NOT talk!!! People keep telling me not to worry but it can niggle sometimes when I hear other littlies his age being quite chatty. My friend had twin boys and they didn't talk until they were nearly three but they talk for britain now!

lilymolly · 15/04/2008 20:46

my dd was exactly the same until she reached 2 and now she is 2 and 3 months and you can not get her to shut up!!
she has loads of pals her age who dont really talk a lot

She too was an early crawler, walker climber ect. I think they are either walkers or talkers as loulou said
Dont worry until he is about 2 and half I would say

kathryn77 · 15/04/2008 21:04

ds is 20 months too and undersand everything but says very little.

he is on par with his friends though although girls seem more talkative.

Original poster

kay1981 · 15/04/2008 22:34

yeah i think you're right, walkers or talkers. I know what you mean gagarin, i was just trying to see if he really wanted something, would he at least make an attempt to say JUICE, but he just sort of looks at me as if to say "well, i wasnt that bothered anyway" and walks away happily babbling to himself - hes probably saying "god woman, i'll talk when im ready!"

I think we'll enjoy the relative quiet for now and see how things go.

Thanks very much
xx

OP posts:

colander · 15/04/2008 23:34

I wouldn't worry - my friends ds didn't talk until 2.5y but then picked it up amazingly quickly.

Mine are both v early talkers, but DD1 didn't walk until 19m and DD2 was 18m. Boys are often less chatty anyway.

In our area they have moved the 2 year check to be a 2.5 year check because so many kids were being referred for speech delay at 2y that was sorted by 2.5 y.

pucca · 15/04/2008 23:41

My ds is 20 mths and hardly talking, he just makes noises really, he sounds like the farmer off shaun the sheep

He does say the odd thing though, he says dirty, and juice, and the latest is get down! (to the dog) but in his own language if you get me, but he is so different to dd, she was very early at talking.

prettymum · 16/04/2008 00:13

ds is 21 months and he just wont talk! if he wants food or drink, he holds my hand and drags me to the fridge or if he wants something off dd, he drags me over to her expecting me to take it off her for him!

he can say mummy, daddy, puppy, bye, and can sing quite few songs ( he makes up quite a lot of the words it), but other than that he just likes to talk in his own language or scream!

Original poster

kay1981 · 18/04/2008 16:06

is it a coincidence that most of the slow talkers are boys?

OP posts:

bubblagirl · 18/04/2008 16:19

when he drags you to get juice just say oh you want a cup of juice

my ds is 3 this month and speech delayed i was told to just be verbal about everything i was doing

mummys cooking dinner

you want juice in your cup

etc just verbalise everything my ds came along loads when i done this

it feels silly at times but it really helps them as to speak apparantly they need the understanding of the actions which seems true as my ds speech came along leaps within weeks

also offer choices milk or juice and get him to point no need to say word oh you want milk same with food toys etc

jambot · 22/04/2008 10:06

My DD had 3 words at 2. Now just past 3 and she talks in full sentences and has a huge vocab which increases by the day. She's actually talking better than some of her friends that started talking a lot earlier than she did. Unless they're not making any noises at all, don't think you're supposed to worry until they're 3 at least.

LooMoo · 23/04/2008 00:08

Yup got to agree Please Don't Worry! Hard but so important, just enjoy your little one for being himself. My elder dd was very slow to talk (had assessment at 3 and a half after many worrying months); younger dd is right at the other end of the scale and talks brilliantly. No rhyme or reason! Wait till your DS is at least 3. My DD had pronunciation probs but as I could always understand her it wasn't really an issue for her. School changed all that and she's absolutely normal (better than in my opinion of course!). Think personality has a lot to do with it - elder DD quite laid back and 'whatever', younger quite precise and likes to get things right.

TotalChaos · 23/04/2008 00:11

Don't wait till 3. As your child may not be seen until 4. Some kids are just late talkers, so time sorts it all out. But some are not. Better for a kid to have unnecessary SALT appointments rather than for a kid who needs SALT to miss out.

duchesse · 23/04/2008 00:13

Mine went from 2 or 3 words at 18 months to full sentences at 22 months. Just becasue they are not talking doesn't mean they aren't listening and learning. Just make sure he gets opportunities to use speech- ie don't pre-empt what he wants, let him ask for things. If you are really worried your HV may be quite a lot of help to go over the milestones and usual stages with you. There is a rule of thumb I think about not being able to be understood outside the family at variosus ages but I can't remember what it is (sorry not being much use here, but wanted to reassure you that it's probably fine).

LooMoo · 23/04/2008 00:16

Disagree having been there.... especially as little one not 2 yet. Get a copy of "Childhood Speech Language & Listening Problems" by Patricia McAleer Hamaguchi, see p15, from what you say and from this (very good) book your child does not need therapy.

TotalChaos · 23/04/2008 00:21

Well I've also been there without the happy ending. DS had severely delayed speech at 3, at 4 he is still obviously behind his peers.

kitbit · 23/04/2008 00:22

what Loulou said - we are the same! ds was a walker/doer/climber/runner. He'd understand everything, but only sounds would come out. When he started talking it was in full phrases, proper words and concepts and we've since been told that it often happens this way, some kids are absorbers, and they listen first. When they think they've got it, it comes out. We live overseas, and ds is now doing exactly the same with the 2nd language, understanding fine and one or 2 words (he's 3 now, so mimicking is easier for him) and occasionally a full sentence will just burst out. Try not to worry just yet!

LooMoo · 23/04/2008 00:23

Sorry duchesse it was the TotalChaos post I disagree with. My dd wasn't easily understood outside the family till nearly 4 and she's very bright and well integrated at school.

kitbit · 23/04/2008 00:23

ooh, you might try some signs so he cn communicate and it does help with their frustration a bit. ds still uses a few signs when he just can¡t get the words out

LooMoo · 23/04/2008 00:24

Sorry to hear it TotalChaos; really would not have believed our dd would get to where she is now, she hated preschool, never really socialised (shy) and can't believe the change school has made to her. Hope you get the same result in time.

TotalChaos · 23/04/2008 00:28

thanks LooMoo, glad things worked out so well with your DD.

I think kitbit's suggestion about trying signing is very sensible.
.

charx · 23/04/2008 00:28

my dd (now 2+3) had language problems. However. we made a game of it - trying all the different sounds - not words just sounds - this really encouraged her. We would sound out letters on her face, put honey on her top lip to get her to lick it off by way of exercising those muscles - I don't know but it might help. The other thing was nursery rhymes: we'd say the same one over again and again and then after a while leave a 'blank' and encourage her to fill in the word. Now she loves it and has improved so much. and she enjoys it/

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