Am I doing it all wrong?

[rascal1979]

Not sure if this is the right place to post or not.

Basically I have a 17 week old DD (8 weeks corrected - as she was born 9 weeks prem) and she seems to need to be held more and more.

I understand that I can't 'spoil' her as she is too young and I realise that she needs cuddles but quite literally I can't put her down between feeds as she cries and if I leave her more than 30 seconds she is sick.

My DH works from 9 - 7pm and is often not home before 7.30/8pm. At which point I am usually at breaking point as she has been cluster feeding for 4hrs or so and I've not had any tea

DH helps out by cuddling her in the evening inbetween feeds but this is littlerallya coupl eof hours respite out of 24hrs. Then I am the one who is up with her all night (am exclusively breastfeeding).

The only way I can get her to go to sleep at night is to have her in bed with me which I don't really like doing as I am scared of cot death as she is still only tiny at 6lb 4oz. However in desperation I have been putting her in bed with me. Really tried to persevere the other night and fed her, cuddled her to sleep then wrapped in the blanket I'd cuddled her in put her in her crib - woke up and cried over and over from 11pm til 3am and eventually in sleep deprived tears of frustration (mine) put her in bed with me and she was fine til 7am.

I can handle the cuddling during the day - although a few friends have commented on her crying and how about giving her a dummy, or a bottle whix is making me think that I am doing soemthing wrong. I have also tried her in a sling but although this helps I find there is only so much I can do with her in it, ie feel unable to cook tea as she is too close to hot pans etc

I am at the end of my tether can anyone suggest how to get her to sleep better especially at night.

You your baby is being sick- does she not like lying flat? My dd was like that, and I put her in the baby bjorn chair, which bounces really nicely and kept her a little more upright.I would hang the pram footmuff over it and drop her it so she was in a sleeping bag. TBH I think tiny babies do like to be held most of the time. I used a sling a lot. Swaddling can really help some babies.
Some do cry bit before they will settle. Do you have a carrycot or rocking cradle? Sorry if all that's a bit obvious and no use. Best of luck.

I have a velcro baby and the only place that he will sleep (other than with me) is in an Amby Nature Nest. I used a sling almost constantly until he was 6 months old and DH had to do the cooking when he got back from work.