Getting out of the house in the mornings - how?!!!

[Jessie3]

Just had a horrendous morning with my 2.3 ds who physically fought me on everything this morning - cleaning teeth, getting dressed, walking to the car, etc. I have tried getting up earlier to give him more time but he is getting worse. I think it is particularly bad this week because we are back to normal after a lovely Easter break (I am a teacher). I can only try to reasoon with him/give him choices like 'do you want mummy or daddy to put your trousers on?' for so long before I run out of time completely and have to just stuff him into his trousers/coat/car seat, which is awful and had us both arriving at the childminder's in tears this morning.
She has texted me to say he is fine, but I don't know what to do tomorrow morning. I have tried being firm, giving him more time, giving him choices - he just says a stroppy 'no' to each choice. How can I make mornings easier? Help!

about the getting up thing, surely he can stay curled up in bed while you get ready?

dd does every morning while i dress myself and ds and she's usually in our bed after 6am

I rushed this morning to get out of the house for 8.45am. I was trying to do too many things which I'd left to the last minute. I hate feeling rushed.

?

If I am up he wants to be up, Pink - and is happy until we start to get dressed. Breakfast is fine, for example - he loves eating!

Hi,

Sympathies, it is hard. My DD is 3.5, and can be hard to get ready. What I have found works for me is distraction/making it a game/competitition.

E.g.So we often do musical dressing. CD on in her room, 30/60 seconds dancing. Pause music and take off or put on an item of clothing, repeat until ready.

Or Having a race: who can get ready fastest, Daddy/DS or DD?

Or
Let's suprise Daddy (who is in shower): and be completely ready when he comes out.

Or:
You can watch TV for 10 mins if you get ready straight away.

The other thing that helps is managing her expectations. So remind that in 10 mins TV will be goping off/she will need to put on her coat/shoes/let me comb her hair etc.

Obv these all work most of the time, but she is still a toddler, so will just kick off because she can, I think all we can do is count to 10, and try again sometimes!

Put him to bed in the next day's clothes?

Anna, I have 2.

They are not rational.

Jessie: what time do you put your ds to bed at night?

6.45 is such an early rise

Can't you get up at that time & get yourself sorted out? The wake ds with about 30 mins left? Pull him into his clothes (10 mins?) And let him eat a piece of toast in the car?

This is normal in my house & we don't need to be at the c/minder by about 8.15. I get up at 7am. I wake the kids at 7.45.

Seriously though what about changing the routine slightly. Dress him as soon as he wakes up then you can tell him that if he gets dressed he can have his nice breakfast. He can wear a bib to stop any mess this may work.

Jesus Anna, you're some insulting piece of stuff.

Don't think I haven't thought of that, ledodgy! - Was it you who recommended the Old Vicarage hotel to me a few weeks ago? (name change) It was fab! The food was briliant and the rooms were gorgeous. Can thoroughly recommend it. very expensive though, may have to save up before we go again.

am recognising lots of this - my dd is 4 and getting her out of the house ranges from easy peasy (this am) to absolute nightmare where I can do nothing right. I tell a lie - we had tantrum this am because she'd left her princess dress at granny's and couldn't wear it for 5th day in a row.

When shes playing up I usually try "right, ok then well I'm off to granny's on my own" and head out the door - that usually gets a response of "OK Mummy I'll brush my teeth/put on my shoes/ get my hair brushed" etc

I am going to lunch now and will return to see if Anna meant it as an insult or not

and then I will rationally rip your head off, in the calmest possible way

toodle pip

Yes it was me! Glad you liked it we're going for a wedding nearby so won't be eating there anyway. I'm even more excited now. thanks.

Yep, have messed around with the getting dressed in which order thing. Isn't helping at the mo.

Wall of silence - he goes to bed at 7.30 and has an afternoon nap. He would be happy to get up at 5 if he didn't have that breastfeed, so I really don't think he is tired. I can't imagine getting up any later, we are late enough as it is!

Olive - I didn't read it as insulting, there was a in there. [Stuckinthemiddle emoticon!]

So are you basically saying he is fine with breakfast etc but difficult over getting dressed? Are there any other troublespots? - teeth, coat/shoes etc.

How is he about getting dressed at weekends? TBH I think you should theoretically have enough time. Post your routine/timescales and we will see if anything stands out from it.

FWIW mine is like this (work 3 days and have 7 and 3 yos):
Night before, ensure DS's book bag and football/swimming stuff (as required) is sorted and he has clean uniform, choose clothes with DD.
6.30 - radio comes on
6.40 - I stagger out of bed into shower, then for juice, then teeth
6.50 - DH into shower
7.00 - DC get up and I am theoretically just putting on make-up/finishing getting dressed. Quick cuddle then they get dressed and I do DD's hair. DH gets dressed then moves cars.
7.15 - breakfast for DH and DC.
7.20 - I go to work while they are breakfasting and DH takes over and does teeth and childcare drop off at about 8 am.

if DH is working away:
6.30 - wake
6.40 - up, shower, juice, teeth dress
7 - DC up, dress, hair
7.20 - breakfast
7.35 - upstairs for teeth and 5 mins play
7.40 - coat and shoes on
7.45 - leave house
7.50 - drop DD at nursey
8 - drop DS at CM

DS used to do this....ok he still does and he's 10..... i used to get myself dressed and put on one of DHs manky fleeces so i wouldn't get dirty then take DS down in his pjs, do brekkie and teeth on the understanding that pjs could get as dirty as he liked. then rather then dressing him in the bed room we'd pick the living room, open the blinds and make a game of trying to get dressed before the neighbours saw his nuddies. usually worked but when it didn't, had to resort to shoving stiff arms into tops scarecrow style lol! now whenhe does it i just tell him he can go to school in his pjs

No advice but wanted to say I'm (selfishly) glad this isn't just happening to me! I'm studying so don't have to leave the house til the luxurious time of 9am (DS wakes at any time from 6.30 onwards). No rush but enormous tantrums about getting dressed/ brushing teeth/ everything. Think he would just prefer to hang around watching beebies in his pyjamas all day. Don't blame him really!

I don't think the getting up early is very relevant as if it's your routine it's just normal.

How about we have to be in the car at such and such a time but if we can get outside the door earlier we can scoot up and down on a trike or scooter or whatever for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes?

Swedes - how about if routine was getting up at 3.30 am every day? Would timing not be relevant?

is he able to dress himself? just wondering because we went through a bit of this with dd a while ago, then realised she was capable of dressing and undressing herself. she's 22 months. she can't do buttons etc yet but can put on jeans, vest and t shirt no problem. same with nappies. she pulls up her own pull up. she would never stand for a changing mat now. only thing she can't do really is socks. so maybe see if he's wanting to do it himself?

Massive sympathies Jessie.
Dd is just like this and yesterday I was in tears. It's so frustrating. I've tried everything you have and it just doesn't work.

Our current solution: I put her clothes out the night before. Complete outfit down to socks. NO choices at all. All laid nicely on the bed. For some reason she finds it exciting to have her clothes all ready for her. Dp goes and gets her up and plonks her into her clothes. The combination of him doing it (she doesn't make a fuss when it's Daddy!) and the fact that it's all laid out makes it take less than 2 minutes. Bliss. I'm sure the novelty will wear off in time, but for now it works.

Another thing that often does the trick is to recruit her stuffed toys to help. Half way through her winge I am distracted by Sammy Moose who wants to whisper in my ear. Sammy Moose and I have a whispered conversation which results in me asking dd if Sammy could put her vest on her as he really wants to. She is enchanted and Sammy gets her dressed from top to toe. Bit of a faff but so is doing it her way.

Third thing that sometimes works:
I tell her what we're doing and why we're getting dressed. Bright and positive. We establish that she wants to do whatever it is we're going to do once she's dressed. So, would she like mummy to help her or would she like to put her trousers on by herself? The answer is generally NO and more wailing, so I shrug, smile and say "Okay honey, we don't have to get dressed. It's fine. But we can't go to see X today then, and mummy's going to go and do mummy things." I leave the room and close the baby gate. Within minutes she's either wailing for my help (which she still sometimes rejects so I just repeat the above and wander off again) or it goes quiet and I find her putting her tights on backwards and struggling to get her head through the leg of her trousers - all help gratefully recieved.

Dd 2.2 is like this.
I have found the last month better- we switched the order we do stuff- ie get dressed before going down to breakfast, as she is very keen to get the food!
She still faffs and tantrums, but it is quicker as there is a fun activity for her at the end of it (breakfast! )
It is hard- some of us are just not morning people. DH and I are not, so odds were dd wouldn't be either.

Sympathies. I have an almost three year old and an almost two year old and tis a nightmare. Only the 3 year old gets any choices.(and those are very limited e.g do you want trainers or wellies) The two year old gets bundled into his clothes, car seat etc. whether he likes it or not.

I can usually get us all ready within the hour!

Oh blimey.

Sticker chart. Sticker for each item of clothing on with NO FUSS.

Other thing is.... it is only a phase. he will be better next week.