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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What do you do with your toddler at home?

62 replies

Daffodilly · 31/03/2008 14:49

I had an HV check up for my 17 month old today and came away feeling a bit of a failure. She suggested that DD ought to be doing simple baking, making masks with stickers, colouring, play doh, fingerpainting, imaginary games with cardboards boxes.....

Now some of these things I've tried - colouring, fingerpainting, play doh and baking - but we haven't had much success. She does "get" colouring. Hates getting her hands dirty with paint or playdoh and as for baking, it just ended with lots of mess and her getting frustrated as she couldn't really do it.

We do lots of other things - reading, building blocks, musical instruments, singing. We also go out lots which I find better than being in the house - singing group, library, park, feed ducks, swimming, meet friends. She will also play on her own with puzzles, her doll, books, toys for short periods.

I think she is too young for most of the things the HV suggested - though I really look forward to doing it all when she is 2 or 3. But now I am feeling guilty (the mother's curse) and wondering if I am depriving her!

Would love to know what other's do with their toddler? Especially at home.

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midnightexpress · 04/04/2008 14:07

Agree with what others have said about embracing mess, and lots of good ideas here. One thing I'd add is that it's a good idea to lower your expectation of how long any activity will keep LOs entertained for. This is especially true of drawing, IME. Mine tend to run out of steam quite quickly, though sticking and glitter glue can significantly raise the threshold, I find. Water, on the other hand, seems to hold their attention for much longer. DS1 would 'wash up' for hours, left to his own devices.

Sounds like you're doing splendidly.

asicsgirl · 04/04/2008 14:13

Agree with all the above re. activities you are already doing - sounds great.

HVs - don't get me started - I am routinely shocked at what friends are told by them (we were lucky because we landed the only HV in the area who knew a thing or two!).

Re nurseries - it's interesting what different places do within the same guidelines/ requirements. Several friends' kids went to quite a posh local nursery and their fridges were covered with artworks which obviously couldn't have been done by the kids at that age. At this age DS used to come home (from a different nursery)with unrecognisable 'snowmen' with randomly stuck on eyes and bits of cotton wool, and abstract works involving lots of glitter - much more like it IMHO. He is now nearly 3 and I went in to pick him up yesterday and saw the kids' 'self-portraits' on the wall, each consisting of a different random set of scribbles! All very healthy and age-appropriate if you ask me

fizzbuzz · 04/04/2008 14:53

Not sure I did any "messy play" when I was 17mo, or even 3,4,5 etc.

I ended up with a degree in Art and Design and am an Art teacher, so it didn't seem to affect my creativity in any way

I have a 20mo dd, and LOATHE messy stuff, I have to make kids clear up all day every day, and do NOT want to do it when I come home.

She likes scribbling, and stickers...but that's it.

robinia · 04/04/2008 17:42

I wonder if Michaelangelo did messy play as a toddler

MrsMattie · 04/04/2008 17:47

Don't worry - my son was about 2 and a half before he enjoyed any of the things your HV mentioned. 17 mths is very young to be doing structured activities.

katie7 · 04/04/2008 20:03

I am an Aussie mum living in Italy...my twins are nearly 3 and only now enjoy stickers..for a few minutes, and "cook" n their own toy oven. We too go to the park, read, listen to music and dance. They LOVE "The Sound of Music" - the songs, the nuns, Maria! We scribble, don' manage to colour in, and haven't tackled painting yet...come on summer! My two are bi-lingual and so are slow to make real sentences...they still use dummies...they are still in nappies. So many people, including doctors are there ready to tell you how you are wrong. I am sure if they are loved and have lots of cuddles, love, books and music they are just fine!

katie7 · 04/04/2008 20:21

Oh and I so agree with letting them "help" with housework. My 2 love putting clothes in the washing machine and unstacking the dishwasher (without the knives!) and passing things to me. My boy adores his teddy and does all sorts of roleplay with Teddy and Due Teddy (Teddy's twin)...even the 2 baby cuddle I do with them! So cute. Thanks for all the other ideas..it is so nice to have some new things to try...

LolaLadybird · 04/04/2008 21:36

It does make you wonder about HV sometimes doesn't it. DD is 2 yrs 9 mths and I've only just started baking with her in the last couple of months. Even then I have to get all the ingredients ready in advance to speed up the actual 'baking' bit with DD as she wouldn't have the patience otherwise. Same goes for craft stuff and sticking etc - only in the last few months although she did start going to nursery part-time when I went back to work at 1 yr so she was doing that sort of stuff there. From memory, at 17 mths she was just starting to get into imaginative play and she also loved her toy buggy as someone else already mentioned.

FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 05/04/2008 06:07

my 21mth old followed me round with a feather duster yesterday

and we made rice crispie cakes last week. He half heartedly stirred it once, watched me put them in the cases, then stuck his face in the mixing bowl and licked the spoon. Still, good photo opportunity!

sparkymummy · 05/04/2008 19:56

Sounds like you are doing a great job with your LO. MY DS is 22 months and is well into imaginary play at the moment, mainly involves cooking eggs, making a brew and wiping up spilt brews (he is always falling over!). He used to be a bit afraid of getting his hands dirty but we made an effort to gently get him used to it as he used to be frightened of sand incase it got on him! I realised we were forever trying to keep him clean so we eased off and showed him how much fun you can have with messy stuff! DS does enjoy "cooking" with me but the only way I found it to work was to both work at the table (him on his booster seat). I would do the cooking and talk about what I was doing, then he would ak to tip/stir or whatever and we'd do it together, but I'd also have an extra bowl and a few bits of ingredients so he could "make his own".. This way he actually watched and tried to copy me instead of before when I realised I was sort of stood over him directing him, and getting annoyed if he didn't want to do it right. It does make a mess but I do it on a day when theres not so much other cooking cleaning to do so don't end up spending all day in the kitchen

MadamePlatypus · 05/04/2008 20:39

I think nurseries do these things because the staff don't tend to be doing fun things like sorting washing, making lunch, dusting, going out for walks in puddles, shopping, feeding the cat, weeding, feeding the ducks etc. etc. etc. while they are at work. They are often replicating experiences that can happen naturally at home.

LolaLadybird · 05/04/2008 22:20

FWIW, making pizza for tea has been a big success with DD. We use naan bread for the base (a Nigella idea), I spread on the creamed tomatoes and it's then v easy for DD to sprinkle on chopped ham, grated cheese etc. 10 mins in the oven and that's tea sorted and because it's so simple, DD feels she's done it all by herself and I haven't stressed over the mess and the fact she's not doing it 'properly'.

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