What do you do with your toddler at home?

[Daffodilly]

I had an HV check up for my 17 month old today and came away feeling a bit of a failure. She suggested that DD ought to be doing simple baking, making masks with stickers, colouring, play doh, fingerpainting, imaginary games with cardboards boxes.....

Now some of these things I've tried - colouring, fingerpainting, play doh and baking - but we haven't had much success. She does "get" colouring. Hates getting her hands dirty with paint or playdoh and as for baking, it just ended with lots of mess and her getting frustrated as she couldn't really do it.

We do lots of other things - reading, building blocks, musical instruments, singing. We also go out lots which I find better than being in the house - singing group, library, park, feed ducks, swimming, meet friends. She will also play on her own with puzzles, her doll, books, toys for short periods.

I think she is too young for most of the things the HV suggested - though I really look forward to doing it all when she is 2 or 3. But now I am feeling guilty (the mother's curse) and wondering if I am depriving her!

Would love to know what other's do with their toddler? Especially at home.

Anything that can be construed as "helping" is popular. Dd unloads the washing machine and helps me hang up the washing. I can see that she is really proud of herself when she does it as she thinks she is a grown up. Also putting nappies on her soft toys and bossing them about.

DD loves 'helping' too. 'folding' clothes, vacuuming (or sitting on the base of it), washing up, cleaning, wiping the table, putting washing in, and pulling out of the machine, weeding. putting toys away (good one to teach em!), making the bed, although usually it looks worse afterwards.

my DD is also 17 months old and couldn't really do any of those things..have tried crayons and she just tries to eat them!

hi
ds is 16 months and is not one bit interested in the arts and crafts yet. He loves playing with bottles (putting the lid on/off), trying to climb up on the bed/couch, trying to put the washing machine on, opening up all the food presses and emptying rice all over the floor. All the messy stuff basically. He also loves music so I put on cds for him and he tries to sing along.

I think you are doing loads with her so don't worry at all.

I think you're doing brilliantly.

Just wanted to pick up on the imaginative play thing. She probably is doing imaginative play or will be v. soon, but "imaginative" makes you think of lovely little pretend scenarios, tea parties, going on a trip with zebras and penguins that sort of thing doesn't it? DS's first foray into imaginative play was around your DD's age. He wanted to put tissues on his nose and pretend to blow it. Constantly. Quite soon after we did "dolly fallen down pick her up again" All quite surprisingly tedious, whne I was looking forward to it!

Can strongly recommend teaming up with other mums to do baking/craft/painting type things. You only trash one house, and in the world of toddler craft, 2:2 ratio or 3:3 is far better than 1:1.

In summer baby bath full of lentils in the garden is good for pouring etc. Use a groundsheet to catch the lentils (some of them )

dd (16mths) loves collecting up jar lids (we have about 20 or so that we have saved from jam/pasta sauce etc) and putting them in a bag (one of those freebie washbags that came free with a magazine). She almost gets colouring but tends to stab the paper with the crayons a bit before getting bored. She likes the shape sorter but the only piece she can put in the correct hole is the cylinder (the others go in and out of the big hole at the end). She is also very keen on board books with flaps to lift up.

I think collections of things with suitable containers for them are idea at this age.

All the activites your HV mentions can be done with a small child, you just have to pitch it at their level. ie, my dd (20m) loves:

scribbling - she scribbles manically for a minute, announces "drawing dog" and then demands another colour - "drawing iggle piggle!". I should say that not even Kandinsky would see either of those things in the mad scribbles she produces, but I love that she does.

sticking - those cbeebies magazines etc are great for stickers, they always have a centre pull out with stickers and they are good quality (ie they come off things easily). With this you just have to accept that the stickers will not go in the place that they are meant to. She will wear them, as will you, the cat and all the furniture. But she will be sticking and you will be proud. She can't get them off the page on her own, I help with that.

"cooking" - by which I mean simple stuff like rice crispie cakes or flapjacks or crumble. To make this work, I put her in her high chair and I use her high chair table as my work surface. She watches me measure stuff in, has a taste of everything as we go (I don't do recipes with egg in for that reason), helps me stir, then eats a bit more, etc.. I think them trying everything is half the point, so I generally do it after a meal so as to not utterly ruin her appetite. You have to not worry too much about them tucking into neat butter, or raw flour or covering themselves in melted chocolate because they will.. I probably shouldn't call this cooking as much as "messy play with foodstuffs"

Playdoh - I have no skill with playdoh whatsoever, so generally I make small round blobs (green = peas, blue = blueberries, etc) and she squishes them with great delight. I know this doesn't sound like much but she can do it for 20 mins at a time - pea! squish. 'nother pea! squish.

Lets Pretend - we drink a lot of tea in this house, so when she got given a plastic teaset for christmas she immediately started making everyone "cupatea" with it. Now we have soft toy tea parties where all the dollies solemnly have imaginary tea poured out for them, and then have it held to their mouths. Not complicated but a lot of fun for her..

taliac it sounds like you kidnapped my dd1!! and took over my house at the same time! We do exactly the same types of things. Except we get the ready mix cakes and stick thomas/dora edible stickers on them and she chooses it when we go shopping

oooh havent tried those but i shall! cake and stickers!

"making masks with stickers, colouring, play doh, fingerpainting"

Sounds like the kind of things DS did in nursery at 17 months to keep the nursery staff busy. DD does do a fair bit of art at 17 months, but only when her 4 year old brother has art stuff out. I remember trying to do this kind of thing with him when he was 17th months and doing it on your own is a bit soul destroying.

I think it is easier and just as good to let them potter around with you. Plenty of mud in the garden to do finger painting.

I suspect your HV was simply trying to suggest activities that weren't toys or tv (if you see what I mean). Sitting down with kitchen utensils like wooden spoons and tupperware/saucepans was a favourite when my kids were little. They are now 5,3 and 2 and we don't really do baking much, or that much colouring etc. I would have felt very demoralised if a HV had said all that to me by the way. Also, at 2, DD still trys to eat the play-doh so not sure 17 months is a good age for this. HV probably meant well?

"I think it is easier and just as good to let them potter around with you."

I think this is really true. DD has a lot of fun doing stuff with me, she loves to help hoover, and mop, and sort laundry and all that stuff, and in the garden she has a watering can so she can help water things.. I'm using "help" in the loosest sense of the word of course..

dd3 is 23 months so a bit older

she does housework with me
watches cbeebies
plays with her sisters toys (but never her own )
picks loads of grass for Bridget (the pony next door) - I give her a big bucket and she will potter round the garden for ages pulling up grass trying to fill the bucket
she loves going to the library and does draw/colour for a short while

My DS is 17 months. Today he has been helping me which involved him pretending to dust. He loves throwing the dirty washing downstairs and can be left to this while I do the bathrooms. He then likes to load the washing machine. If left alone he'll load it then unload which obviously isn't overly helpful!

He also likes to use his screwdriver about the place and water the plants, although I haven't given him water yet! He'll happily mop the floor with various objects.

Mainly he likes playing on his own and I like to encourage that, but I do chat to him while he potters.

We usually go out for a slow walk and chat about our journey. He has a real thing for daffodils and car hubcaps so we'll usually stop to admire those along the way.

Your best bet is to carry on doing what you'd do anyway and have your toddler potter along side you.

This reminds me of my dds nursery at this age.

They did 'baking' - but hovering mother as I was I came early one day and observed all the standing solemnly round a table getting one stir each of the 'Thomas' packet cake mix.

The 'art' was also clearly finished by adult hands - presumably to puff the parents up with pride as they displayed the results on the fridge door.

I actually got told off by my hv at that age for letting Dd cook with me - she used to love to make salad. I'd sit her up on the worsurface with me. She'd pour oil, vinegar, sprinkle of herbs, stir stir stir, prod and the black bubbles of vinegar. Then I'd give her bowls of veggies I'd chopped to tip in the big mixing bowl with the dressing. I could do other bits of (non-hot) cooking and preparation on the side while she was occupied.

Shall I stick my 2p worth in ......?

Ds4 is 2 and a half. He has never cooked in his life and probably won't until he is 5 or so. He has never painted. He doesn't go to any regular play groups.

His life consists of playing, generally peacefully, by himself with various things ... all totally of his own choosing. He colours and draws and likes sticking stickers. He makes simple things with lego (the big type). He likes wooden jigsaw puzzles, cars etc. He spends many happy hours on my kitchen floor playing with water in jugs, bowls, cups, sieves etc. He has done play-doh a couple of times and cutting with scissors too. Sometimes he "helps" me with the cleaning.

But I just don't do really messy things - they stress me out, they seem to be an enormous hassle for small benefit, my other children did do painting for example and it used to last about 10-15 minutes and then all be done - except for the clearing up.

I have been very happy that he is not missing out on anything so far. He starts pre-school after the Easter holidays which I think will be good for him because he probably is the age where he would benefit from more socialisation. And he will get the opportunity there to paint and bake.

And I am the most stress-free mum you could imagine. I love being at home with him and wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

I agree sounds like DD is getting plenty of excitement.

If she likes colouring but not the mess, have you tried painting with water on sugar paper- or when it gets hotter- with water on garden path/flags/decking- a no mess way to be creative- kept my lot entertained for hours, no mess no fuss and no worries about leaving a mess behind ! You can always use camera phone to record any masterpieces created before they evaporate !

Amazing how discussions like these come up just when you need it - was just telling my mom today I don't feel like I keep the kids entertained enough. Living in London we don't have the big backyard to let the kids run and play - granted the recent weather hasn't helped either - anyone suggest a book with ideas on entertaining various age groups of kids (mine being 3.5 and 2). Don't get me wrong - we do loads but same old stuff (cooking, baking, colouring, play doh) - and the local park is starting to get boring for them (same toys, different day). I'll continue to read the links - already some great tips from everyone, but agree that expecting a 17th month to take part in HV suggestions a bit silly.

imaginary play - dh 'unscrews' dc's body parts and puts monkey/teddy bear/tiger appendages on instead. he hangs dc's legs/arms/head in the cupboard. then they both come tell me where the human bits are so i can find them when she wants to put them back on again.

does this help?

maybe the hv that suggested all these activities is from some "superchild camp". i do most of those activities with my 3 year old who is not always interested. my 16 mth old likes being in the garden, looking at picture books, and going to her swimming class - she loves that! everything else will all get done in good time!

Actually nurseries doing stuff like that has nothing to do with charges. If you look up birth to 3 matters or early years foundation you will see its what ofsted insist on/ expect. I also have to adhere to the same criteria as a registered CM.

Love it, worktostaysane