Have you had a toddler who didn’t point, language delayed, but turned out all right ?

[Injackane]

Asking for my 16 months old son, who doesn’t point or wave, has only two words (“eight” and “ko” - for Bingo), will do things like brush teeth with us, takes turns to push the car down the ramp, return the ball, loves playgroups with other kids, lift hands to be picked up, doesn’t babble although is vocal like aaaaaaa or ayayayaya and occasional dadada. He understands most of the basic commands, like “give”, “Jackson’s turn”, “no”, “stop”, “go go go”

He simply doesn’t like to imitate sounds or gestures, like we are bothering him. He even sometimes pushes me away, like “go away, don’t bother me”. Loves spinning wheels or opening-closing doors, but only for 2 minutes and he can be distracted easily. Loves lying on a floor, watching the toys spin. Bizarre.

General doctor and speech therapist think it is not autism, but that he is language delayed. We have a twin sister who is a super-imitator, and super-pointer, aggressively points to everything she wants so the difference is obvious.

Tell me please you had a toddler who turned out fine, being similar.

Our friend has a son who loved sponning wheels and is typical boy. Our nanny also said quite a few boys she looked after loved spinning wheels and are just normal boys. The differentiation is in whether the watching of spinning is something that lasts a short time and can be interrupted as an activity, or it is something that lasts a long time, and you can’t refocus the child to another activity (they are lost in it).

@Beth216 i don’t agree with your spinning wheels theory - I know plenty of babies/toddlers who enjoyed spinning wheels and grown up with no signs of autism - autism is not one isolated behaviour. I know you are trying to be helpful but I think many mums with anxieties could read this and cause worry. There is also a massive difference between “liking watching spinning wheels” and obsessively spinning wheels paired with other repetitive behaviours. I am glad to hear your son is doing so great.

@Vittoria123 your child sounds very a-typical to me, but always good to keep an eye on things - everything is a spectrum as Beth rightly says. Tiptoe walking if not obsessive and repetitive (which is not what you describe) is developmentally usual and I don’t know many toddlers that haven’t tested this out, especially when learning to walk/run/jump and going between different floor textures. Also at 18 months it is very typical for children to play alongside each other and not with each other - this is expected between 2-3 years old. Lastly being wary is very typical - if anything a good sign that she is aware who her trusted people are and who she has connections with. My son was very wary around new people until he was just over 2 years - then massively came out of his shell (& he has gone nursery since 12 months - and they were never concerned about his development - and I was an anxious mum so talked to their SEN lead to check things all the time) he will now interact with anyone quite quickly but also wouldn’t just walk off with anyone - he warms up to people much quicker if his dad and I interact with them - like he then knows they are a trusted person ❤️ At 18 months I had so many worries about these small isolated behaviours and by 2.5 years and onwards I have had no worries at all, they develop so much during this time. As I say good to know what to look out for but don’t obsess and let it take away enjoying your beautiful girl x

Also @Injackane I have really enjoyed reading your updates as I’m notified on them from posting on this thread at an earlier date - what an amazing mum you are and I’m sure your posts have really helped a lot of people x

Update in November 2023

Our son is 2y 3m old. Therapist says he is mildly on the autistic spectrum, in his opinion, not an official diagnosis. He has hyperlexia, we noticed that last week when we figured out he could read (taught himself) 30 or more words. Hyperlexia usually means good outcome long term. It usually includes great memory, which is also the case.

He is sensory seeking, but that will correct itself. Loves spinning toys.

He is verbal and almost matching now his age, slightly delayed. His receptive language is more delayed but he is making steady progress.

He still has no repetitive behaviour, if you exclude loving switching lights on and off ten times. No stimming apart from flapping hands when excited. That is supposed to clear up later.

He will happily play by himself, but if something interests him (is sensory amazing), he will join the group, imitate everything, smile, be happy, interact with other kids. More and more we see that if interested, he appears as a typical kid, if not interested, he won’t even look at you and you can’t get his intention.

His pretend play is average, slightly scripted, but any pretend play is an excellent sign for spectrum kids, so our therapist was excited that he does spontaneous pretend play of any kind.

His playing with toys sometimes inappropriately , an example he will roll the hard puzzle shapes between his hands like they are playdough.

We don’t want to diagnose him now and speech therapist says no need yet, maybe closer to 5, or maybe he can do it himself later in life.

His outcomes will be good, as he is predicted to be independent in life. We have to monitor potential anxiety and depression in teenage years, as that’s common for autism spectrum. Otherwise, he has good chances of having a good career in something analytical, something that excludes lots of contact with people, as he might not be a social butterfly. Although, this is all just guesses so who knows what will happen.

sorry To bother you and I know it is an old post but you said your DS never pointed and was wondering how did he communicate before 2 if your remember ☺️

Hi do you any update please ? ☺️

Hi @Injackane. how is your son doing now?

He is 3 years old. Most probable mildly on an autism spectrum. Verbal, physically and emotionally at the age level, still speech delayed about 6 months but progressing every month. Loves other kids, reading books, he’s hyperlexic, quite bright. All in all, I think he might have a social deficit later in life but will be independent and have a job , etc. I think he will be fine.

Hi, I'm pretty sure my boy is on the spectrum. I'm in the UK and they do no therapy at all until your kid is diagnosed.

Would you be happy to share some home exercises with me? He's 16 months old. He does point, make good eye contact. He spins wheels and himself sometimes. He brings us stuff to show us but when we ask he won't. He won't come to us when called either and elopes. He calls us all Babba. He has some words.

We used the early Denver start model. Bought a book, and literally followed it chapter by chapter. Our boy is 3.5y old, some speech delay, but he communicates, he is very clever, much better eye contact, some pretended play and plays with other kids with some games. Not perfect but he is progressing steadily and I think the early therapy was the key

Thanks.

My boy makes great eye contact. Plays with his brother some what but shows some repetitive behaviour. And dosnt follow simple instructions. I think there is some speech delay as he dosnt say Dada at all and dosnt link me to mummy even though he can say it.
Sometimes I think well he is only 16 months and sometimes I worry.

By that time they still mix mummy and daddy but if he doesn’t get those roles right in the next few months, it’s a worry.

just because he has repetitive issues and doesn’t always answer to him being called, it doesn’t mean autism. Some kids are a bit OCD early on in life, and introvert. So, it’s still too early to tell. The good signs is that he is social, that he has good eye contact. I saw a medical study where the good eye contact carries ovwr 80% probability that kids is NOT on autism.

Sorry didn't realise it was an old thread x