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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

The Court Of Mumsnet is In Session - Verdict needed

46 replies

seeker · 10/03/2008 12:11

dd's friend is 11. She was given an Iphone for Christmas. On a contract. By the first bill, to her horror she had run up a bill of £200 (!). Cue fury all round. She has had the phone taken away and she is grounded indefinitely. Including not being allowed to go to a big year 7 party that they have been looking forward to for months.
And she gets no money except for absolute essentials until the money is paid off.

I understand the fury, but I do think it's partly the parents' fault for not monitoring her phone better - or putting a limit on it or something. And I do think the party thing is a bit harsh. I think I would have made her pay off the money, and I think I would have got her a cheap and nasty basic phone.

What do people think?

OP posts:

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JRocks · 10/03/2008 12:13

An 11 year old has an Iphone?

It does seem a bit daft to give a contract to someone that age, at least with PAYG you can see how much you're spending..

RubyRioja · 10/03/2008 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Threadworm · 10/03/2008 12:13

God, at 11 they are not savvy enough to keep a proper check on a phone bill. Crazy to give her an iphone. And punishmnet only appropriate if they are sure she is clued up enough to understand and monitor the billing.

beansmum · 10/03/2008 12:15

Hardly surprising is it? I don't think I would ground her or stop parties. But then maybe she was told exactly how big a bill she was allowed to run up and just decided to break the rules.

littlelapin · 10/03/2008 12:15

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WanderingTrolley · 10/03/2008 12:15

Yes she should pay toward the bill.

Exclusion from the party is unrelated and ott ime.

I blame the parents.

(always wanted to say that!)

beansmum · 10/03/2008 12:16

very by the way. My mobile came free when I opened a student bank account 8 yrs ago.

Anna8888 · 10/03/2008 12:16

The parents are punishing the child for their own failure of parental responsibility IMO.

They need to reexamine their parenting, not punish their child.

fryalot · 10/03/2008 12:17

I agree with Anna888
(always wanted to say that )

They shouldn't really have bought her such a gift and then expected her not to use it.

KarisTiasMum · 10/03/2008 12:19

i completely agree, if you are daft enough to give an 11 year old free reign with a mobile phone ON CONTRACT!! then you need to face the consequence of a potentially huge bill. I am sure the girl at 11 years old is just not old enough to be responsible and to monitor her phone usage.

i dont even trust myself with a contract phone, i prefer to keep on top of things and know how much i am spending instead of the possibitly of a shock at the end of each month.

It is very unfair to deprive the girl of her party when really this was the parents' mistake. Making her pay the money back would be a far more productive punishment, and some value for money.

RustyBear · 10/03/2008 12:19

Presumably they will still be paying something for the iphone even if no calls are being made- aren't those things on 18 month contracts?

DD managed to run up a £300 phone bill on our landline one quarter (we now check regularly online)- she was ironing that one off for a very long time.

But I'd never give a teenager an unlimited contract phone, so I think it's the parents' fault as much as the child.

GooseyLoosey · 10/03/2008 12:21

Can't expect restraint in an 11 year old so parent's fault. Might feel a little different if they had explicitly told her it was for emergencies only and she should not use it to chat to friends (am actually amazed an 11 year old has that many friends with phone access to run up that kind of bill - how times change!).

OverMyDeadBody · 10/03/2008 12:22

So why dd they buy here an iphone on a contract? And did they give he a definate monthly limit? They are punishing her for their mistakes.

Sounds like a case of more money than sense (in regard to the parents).

wannaBe · 10/03/2008 12:23

aren't iPhones hidiously expensive? more than £200 anyway iirc?

what a stupid idea to give one to an 11 yo. presumably she has everything else she wants as well?

Cam · 10/03/2008 12:23

Agree with Anna888 and Squonk

Parents' fault completely

OverMyDeadBody · 10/03/2008 12:23

But with an iphone she could have been doing loads of things that would run up her ophone bill apart from making calls right? iphones are much more than just phones. What did they expect?

TheFallenMadonna · 10/03/2008 12:24

I think her parents are barking.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/03/2008 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/03/2008 12:25

The parents deserve everything they get (ha! wanted to say that one!). Giving an 11 year old an iphone on contract was a stupid idea. They should get her to work the money off (and not let her off it) rather than stopping her going to the party. What good will that do?

DD's friend (also 11) got an iphone at Christmas which was promptly nicked at school.

Stupid parents (judgey judgey)

Cam · 10/03/2008 12:26

I think the parents should be punishing themselves for gross stupidity. Its like giving a 4 year old an ice cream and punishing it for eating it.

MissingMyHeels · 10/03/2008 12:26

I think at 11 she would understand how it works. Also, with an i-phone the contract would include about 600 minutes and 600 text messages so to run up a large phone bill she would have had to have been using the phone LOADS, I mean constantly calling and texting people so she would have been completely abusing it to run a bill that large.

I think the punishment sounds fair apart from the grounding indefinitely bit - that just seems a bit pointless and I think you should always have a timeframe on a punishment.

Carnival · 10/03/2008 12:26

That's just nuts. As someone else has already said, a pay as you go setup is much more sensible. I wonder if the girl even understood how much it cost per minute, if the parents did not discuss this with her in advance, they should not be punishing her for overstepping a boundary that didn't exist imo.

Poor girl, I hope they see sense and let her go to the party.

I must say, in some areas of the country a child could get really badly hurt for an expensive item like that. It wouldn't be me sending a child out with a luxury electronics item. I get that some parents prefer their kids to have a phone for safety, but does it need to be an iphone

CatIsSleepy · 10/03/2008 12:27

anyone that gives their 11 year old an iphone is insane
for gawd's sake
i mean she's bound to lose it at some point isn't she, apart from anything?
and if they didn't monitor/put a limit etc then IMO it's entirely their own fault

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/03/2008 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/03/2008 12:31

Think with an iphone the internet access may be charged extra, so she may not have been calling or texting an abnornal amount, but just accessing the internet and using the special features (which of course is the whole point of the iphone)

Still think the parenst are daft sods.

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