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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

18 month old crying at similar time each night but not actually 'awake'

46 replies

REIDmylips · 09/03/2008 21:42

Title says it all really. Ds cries out between half nine and half ten each night. Sometimes he simply needs a drink of water, sometimes it goes on longer. Most times however it appears as though he isn't actually 'awake'. It can take from 10 minutes to settle him or 2 hours depending on whether or not he fully wakes bcause of the crying.

Does anybody have any experience of this or any advice? I am at a complete loss.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

REIDmylips · 09/03/2008 22:00

anyone?

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HereComeTheGirls · 10/03/2008 08:45

Sorry, I have no answers..but my 16 month old DD does this most nights, and its SO wearing, you just settle down after a hard day and then this happens..I feel your pain!

EffiePerine · 10/03/2008 08:46

Do you go in immediately? I find DS does this sometimes - sometimes if I don't go in he settles (when he wakes up properly), other times he's having a nightmare and going in immediately and patting him sends him off again. So no advice really...

Original poster

REIDmylips · 10/03/2008 08:47

i am surprised that no one has any advice. It has to be a first for MN!

Oh and bumpety bump

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Original poster

REIDmylips · 10/03/2008 08:49

sometimes i will wait a little while (only a few seconds) to see whether or not he is dreaming. If it is a dream rather than a nightmare he will settle himself, but more often than not he appears to be having a bad dream (is this even possible in a boy so young?) and cannot settle himself because it seems as though he is afraid of something. so i go in and rub his back.

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LilRedWG · 10/03/2008 08:50

DD went through a stage of doing this for a couple of week. She'd wake sobbing at the same time everynight. We put it down to nightmares and soothed her as best we could. No advice I'm afraid, but DD did stop after a couple of weeks. She occassionally does it now, but not often.

BTW - missed you Reidy

HereComeTheGirls · 10/03/2008 08:51

I tend to go in straight away as if she cries too much she throws up..she throws up at the drop of a hat..might try to leave her for a wee while though!

HereComeTheGirls · 10/03/2008 08:51

Sorry to hijack your thread though

elfsmummy · 10/03/2008 08:51

Is he upset by it? Could it be a night terror?

The friend's DS had these at about 2. It tended to happen when he was overtired going to bed. He'd 'wake' and cry and cry but not really get comfort from his parents. It was like he wasn't really awake.

They took advise and since it was at the same time every night, they started rousing him slightly about half an hour before it usually happened. Seemed to break the cycle.

Onlyaphase · 10/03/2008 08:52

My 16 month old DD has phases of doing this, agree it is very wearing for parents. Not sure she is awake each time it happens, most of the time I think that she isn't properly awake. It varies in how we treat it - we tend to leave her for a few minutes in case she settles, but if a note of real upsetness or distress comes into her cries we belt upstairs. Then we usually take her out of her room immediately as this wakes her up properly and stops her crying. After 15-20 minutes downstairs (we offer water) she is settled and happy to go back to bed.

As I said, this happens in fits and starts. First time it happened it lasted about 4 weeks I think, now down to less than a week when it starts up again.

elfsmummy · 10/03/2008 08:58

Thought I'd best do some research to check that my post was accurate. You know when you doubt yourself!

Anyway I found this. not sure how reliable it is as a source but seems to advise the same sort of thing.

Original poster

REIDmylips · 10/03/2008 08:59

thank you, its nice to hear (well obviously not nice because it isnt good for little one, but ykwim ) that it isnt only our ds who is suffering from it. Will try the rousing (sp) him half an hour before it usualluy happens to see if this helps. Thank you again

You too LRWG. Have been mega busy!!! Will try to pop in bar a little more

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blueshoes · 10/03/2008 09:20

REIDMylips, my ds same age has been doing the things the last couple of nights. But he has been under the weather.

Just crying, but not really awake. Sounded like he was angry, or having a little tantrummy cry.

Then once, I heard him laughing (but not awake).

Could be baby dreams ...

mishymoo · 10/03/2008 09:26

Agree with elfsmummy. My DS went through a similar stage of waking at the same times for about 3 weeks. At the time, my HV said to go in and gently rouse him but don't fully wake him, about 15-20 minutes before he started crying, etc. It worked!

Original poster

REIDmylips · 10/03/2008 09:31

Thankyou for the link, although my ds doesn't seem to be as severe as that describes (luckily) it does sound very similar. Will try to rouse him tonight, what do you recommend? turn him over, stroke his head until he moves? sounds daft, but i am always afraid that i will fully wake him and start an entirely new problem.

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mishymoo · 10/03/2008 09:33

I used to rub his back and as soon as he stirred, I stopped and stood very still in his room until he dozed off again. Then quietly crept out of his room!

Maureen · 10/03/2008 12:18

My son is now 4 but when he was about 2 he went through a similar stage. He was never actually awake and we never woke him up - before or during but what seemed to help and sooth him back to sleep (quite quickly - within a few minutes) was classical music or music lullabies...ones that he liked and was familiar with. Just an idea but it really helped us.

momtoone · 10/03/2008 12:20

DD used to scream at night sometimes at about same age, 18 months,she would howl like she was in agony eyes wide open and push me away if I tried to comfort her. We were really worried but I began to notice it only happened when she was overtired - she was refusing naps at that time. I found some info on night terrors and learned that although her eyes were wide open she wasn't awake. Anyway, she stopped it all when I started forcing her to have daytime naps - that involved a lot of screaming too! but only in daytime thankfully.

JayneF · 10/03/2008 12:31

Yes! My Ds does it often. Some nights worse that others. I thought it was bad dreams at first, but there is usually a reason for him... they are, in order of severity of cry:

Indigestion (rumbly tummy, beaks wind on being moved, arching back, not wanting to be held);

Just done a poo (self evident!)

Cold( blanket thrown off)

Thirsty (gupls water down then falls asleep again)

Also he can take ages to rouse from it, even though he is not especially a heavy sleeper.

PotPourri · 10/03/2008 12:36

Is it night terrors? DD1 has night terrors for a couple of nights now and again. Usually linked to being overtired/stimulated, and perhaps stressed with a change. Can't remember if she had them at 18 months - might have been that early. She is 3 now.

I read up alot. am no expert, but at the time I read that if it helps, comfort them. If not, stand back and watch to check they don't hurt themselves ro something, but just leave them to go through it and it will pass within 10 mins. Apparently it is when they are going into the deep sleep cycle. They are unaware of it, and so although distressing to watch, they are actually not distressed, adn don't remember it in the morning. Before we read up, we used ot wake her up - which was definatly distressing for her. but leaving her to get through it herself had no adverse effects.

HTH. If it's night terrors, it should pass after a couple of weeks max.

MegaMindy · 10/03/2008 12:39

does he fill his nappy at this time? From a certain age, children no longer wee in their sleep. There is a hormone that wakes them up when they need to wee. Most wee is produced at the beginning of the night, and it would make sense that he already has a full bladder by 10pm. Is it possible that this is happening with your son?

Original poster

REIDmylips · 10/03/2008 14:37

thank you so much for the advice! i feel so much better now. At least now i know a) what to look out for and b)different approaches to try!

As for the cold, indigestion etc, i dont think it is. He has a grow bag and usually feels hot rather than cold, he has suffered in the past with constipation but (touch wood) has been loads better over the last 2 weeks and i dont think its indigestion (although i had wondered whether or not it was something he was eating that makes him dream)

It has been going on for almost a week now so hopefully it will soon pass but i will be trying out some of the suggestions made!

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JayneF · 10/03/2008 15:34

Hi again, DS has never had constipation, always really loose, but still gets what we call a boily belly IYSWIM.

Hope you get to the bottom of it!

Original poster

REIDmylips · 10/03/2008 19:23

thanks again for the advice, I plan on going into him about half 9 just to rub his back to make him stir, will take it from there.

Wish me luck.

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JayneF · 10/03/2008 20:33

Let us know if the pattern changes RML,...very good (no, not good, but reassuring) to know these things are not confined to me and mine.

Good luck

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