18 month old crying at similar time each night but not actually 'awake'

[REIDmylips]

Title says it all really. Ds cries out between half nine and half ten each night. Sometimes he simply needs a drink of water, sometimes it goes on longer. Most times however it appears as though he isn't actually 'awake'. It can take from 10 minutes to settle him or 2 hours depending on whether or not he fully wakes bcause of the crying.

Does anybody have any experience of this or any advice? I am at a complete loss.

i know what you mean jaynef! HAve just been into him and rubbed his head, he sighed and turned his head over, i then just put him back onto his pillow. I'm not sure whether i have roused him enough iykwim? he did move and his breathing pattern changed (not that i think that has anything to do with it) but i'm hoping it has just disturbed him enough to change the pattern. The next hour will tell.

Aww, little lambs, the lot of them! I guess when these boys are 17, liquour filled and tattooed (god forbid) we will still be making sure they are sleeping ok! Hope you find the cause and a cure (now,..i mean,...not the inevitable hangover in about 2023!! .

lol Jaynef, Well a report on last night ...

Went in at about 9.10pm and roused him slightly. That seem to work, there was a little whinge a bit later, but nothing that a sip of water couldn't solve.

The problem however came at 3.30am!!! He woke up crying (not to the same extent he usually does earlier in the evening) however he didn't settle again until 5am I am hoping that this is just coincidence and that it would have happened anyway! Not entirely sure why he woke tbh, wasn't the same horrible cry he usually does earlier, he didnt want water, didn't seem to be in pain, so i'm at a loss with that one. Hopefully it was just a one off.

So i will try the rousing again tonight and fingers crossed he wont wake at 3am (crosses fingers and toes)

Re: "She occassionally does it now, but not often." The poor little lamb woke srying FIVE times last night!

Reidy, have you cursed us?

oh no LRG! I hope not, its a case of "you've said it now" Which is exactly what dh said last night after i smiled at 11.30pm saying 'wow, so far so good' (re: the night terrors)

i did have a quick peep into the bar last night btw but noticed you had only been in for a flying visit! HAd some lovely friends come round for tea, and best of all...they brought the tea with them!!

LOL - it's typical. She had woken once on Sunday night crying so I shouldn't have been suprised. When it's happened before it lasts a week or so and then she stops.

I don't know if maybe it is linked to:

a) Grow spurts?
b) Learning new stuff? (DD has finally started walking)
c) Being over-tired (busy weekend)

Or quite probably all of the above!

Ooo lovely - the kind of friends I like

You should pop in here - Squonk's around and the others won't be long I'm sure. Lissie will be at college, but that won't stop her

fingers crossed again for tonight. No 3am waking please!

My dd (15 mo) does something similar and when we read Ferber's book (Solve your child's sleep problems) we came across "confusional arousals".

They are like night terrors but less severe. They happen in younger children (from 6 months iirc) whereas night terrors tend to be older children. The child gets caught between sleeping and waking in the sleep cycle. They always happen in the first third of the night. They are supposed to be quite common but I hadn't heard of them, so thought I'd put a brief description here.

For dd she starts to moan and sometimes it subsides and she settles herself. Sometimes she gets more and more distressed and it can last about 30 mins. She is not awake. If we pick her up or disturb her it makes her very, very distressed and she thrashes in my arms, screaming like a full blown awful tantrum. Then eventually she quietens down and breathes in sobs, eyes open, but not responding to us or seeming to see us. After a while she "wakes" - you kind of see her come back in her eyes, iyswim, its really weird. But then she is properly awake and yawns, and if I put her down she goes off to sleep quite happily.

Ferber's advice is to leave them to it, but I struggle to do this because she sounds like something is terribly wrong. Its hard to tell if she's awake or not until the quieter stages. He does give quite a detailed explanation of why they happen and how to help prevent them though, and I think most of this is online too if you google it. Its to do with them getting overtired so their sleep cycle is messed up, or if the normal routine is broken so they feel like things "still need doing" when they stir at night.

Hope someone finds that helpful anyway, I felt a lot better once I had an explanation for dd's scary night time happenings!

i think all people go through sleep cycles - three hours is about right. Your little one may be coming in to light sleep and rather than settling himself, is just calling out to see where mum/dad is.

I think if you decide he is ok then keep lights low and keep things quiet when you go in so as not to wake him up any further. It might be that you can leave him to settle himself to sleep.

How did you get on last night Reid?

DS used to do much of the above when younger. He is really sensitive to getting overtired - so wakes more rather than sleeps through when tired! A few early nights normally sorts the problem, or lengthen naps.

I used to make him nap earlier in the day, so he would go to bed 1/2 hour earlier (especially needed if up for a couple of hours in the night).

He woke about quarter to 9 so i didnt need to go in to rouse him, but he is full of a cold ao i think it was the snotty nose and cough that woke him. He soon went back to sleep though, after a drink of water. He did however wake up at 1.25am. DH had to rub his back for a while to settle him because he got himself all worked up. He finally went back off around 2am. Again though, i think this was because of his cold.

As far as the night terrors go i think we are winning that battle, but losing the war, so to speak

I wouldn't get too despondent yet - my DDs sleep patterns go to pot when she has a cold!

The fact that he is getting beyond 10pm is really good, the first night i roused him, the second night his cold disturbed him, but both nights he didn't have the horrible screams around 10-10.30pm which i am really pleased with.

Lets just hope the cold passes quickly so that i can tell properly whether or not we have 'got rid' of the terrors!

I hope he feels better soon Reidy!

Thankyou LRWG. Hope your lo slept better! DS has just woke up and thrown up everywhere poor little thing! this bloomin' cough and cold is totaly throwing his sleep pattern!

Seems everyone was right re:the night terrors. Sinse he has been coughing and disturbinghis own sleep pattern, the 'routine' crying has gone. (so to speak) now its just the cold we need to get rid of!!!

an update...

cold appears to be getting better, as a result the 'crying' has come back. Not as severe as it was. He caught me out tonight by crying earlier than usual so i didnt get i to rouse him first. Luckily it only lasted a couple of minutes and was more of a little whinge than a outright cry.