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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

how much to say about periods to 3 year olds?

39 replies

time4tea · 23/02/2008 09:57

hello

a friend and I were out with our DS and DD both nearly 4, and one asked about a tampon dispenser in the ladies loos. we said it was a machine for "special tissues" of course they wanted some then and I said they weren't needed, we had some ordinary tissues and left it at that.... this got us wondering when and how much to say about periods to small children.

any experiences? learning about the whole thing came as a big shock to me when I was about 9 and in all mentions I heard on telly (Grange Hill - "the curse" being particularly grim) it was treated as scary/bloody/painful/not something to talk about, my mum was so quiet about it I ended up being really frightened about the whole thing.

so a fair amount of openness seems important. but what info, when?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AitchTwoOh · 23/02/2008 10:00

i used to see my mum with her towels all teh time and she just said that grown-up ladies have a little bit of blood put by and let it go once a month and it doesn't hurt. that was all i was interested in as a young child, whether it hurt or not.

PandaG · 23/02/2008 10:02

when I got walked in on in the loo when DS was about that age and he asked questions, I just said that every month my body gets ready to have a baby grow inside it, and if there is no baby the comfy lining isn't needed so comes out of thesame hole babies come out (He knew babies came out of a hole as I'd had his sister when he was 2.3)

telling the truth but not making a drama out of it iyswim!

RBH · 23/02/2008 10:04

I use sanitary towels and as the kids tend to follow me to the bathroom I have given DD1 (nearly 3) a simplified version of what a period is. She tends to call them blood wees but is getting the hang of saying period!

My Mum told me the basic facts of life when I was under 3 as I asked where my brother came from. I don't remember being told but remember being at infants and explaining tampons to a class mate. Periods are a fact of life and it really annoys me when people get squeamish about them so I am working on the basis of info early so it is never a big deal.

HTH!

dosydot · 23/02/2008 10:15

I never remember having the conversation with my mum she never locked the door and left her tampon box on the cistern so I always knew that periods happened and she just filled in the blanks as the questions came up.
Just had my first period in 4 years and had the same discussion with my dd 3 as Panda did with her ds. My ds nearly 2 was present but doesn't seem to understand but know doubt is taking in info all the time
IMHO I is only in households with locked bathroom doors that these questions come up, in open door household it is delt with on an ad hoc basis

SmileysPeeple · 23/02/2008 10:19

I'd say nothing.

Make up some vague explanation like your special tissue line and leave it at that.

Not neceassry imo. Time enbough for all that.

Mumcentreplus · 23/02/2008 10:25

My DDs (4 & 6yrs) often follow me to the loo and they asked about periods when they were younger...I just they are something women get when they are mature it is natural every woman has them...they said 'even grandma?'..I said 'well not anymore'..lol I explained it doesn't hurt and when they get older I will explain in more detail they seemed happy with that...for now..lol..

thinner · 23/02/2008 10:44

My DD2 and DS5 both often follow me to the toilet. They are well aware of "mummys poorly bum" . I tell them it doesnt hurt but sometimes mummys have poorly bums. Will explain to them further when thay are older. Took a long while to convice DD that the tampons weren't lolly pops though!

cory · 23/02/2008 12:32

My explanation was very similar to Pandag's; low key but matter of fact. Not one Big Talk, but rather answering whatever question they put to me. As I would try to answer any other question they put out of genuine interest. Also explained to ds (6 at the time) what the condoms in the condom dispenser are for. It's not a big deal for me; I like talking to them. And they've watched enough David Attenborough to know the basic facts of life.

smartiejake · 23/02/2008 13:21

I told mine that when a baby is in a mummy's tummy they are fed by the mummy's blood. If there is no baby in there the extra blood comes out every month

BoysOnToast · 23/02/2008 13:27

poorly bum?? bloody hell, no wonder people grow up being scared and worried. and they dont believe it when you gloss over about special tissues etc, they know they are being fobbed off. and they wonder whats so terrible they cant be told.

whats the matter with saying what pandaG said??

sheesh.

thinner · 23/02/2008 13:43

Oh well, guess we can't all be perfect hey. Sometimes we do say the wrong thing to our kids. Live and learn and try not to criticise others parenting skills.

RosaIsRed · 23/02/2008 13:45

My explanation is the same as PandaGs. Not too difficult for a two or three year old to grasp at all IMO.

FrannyandZooey · 23/02/2008 13:49

I think if people read something they believe to be really rotten advice mistaken then they are at liberty to say so

I agree with just telling them. Ds knows my womb fills up with a special lining each month, it is soft and squashy for the baby to lie in (if a baby should start to grow). If no baby grows that month, all the soft squashy lining comes out. I use something to catch it because otherwise my clothes would get messed up.

He doesn't really find the period bit very interesting, but he used to look very carefully at chairs I had been sitting on. He said he was looking to see if he could find the egg that had come out

pointydog · 23/02/2008 13:54

When my dds were that age, I just said they were tissues for ladies as well and off we went, carrying on with our day. Didn't see the point in saying anything more at that age and they had no further curiosity about it.

edam · 23/02/2008 13:56

I've told ds the basic biological facts in an easy-to-understand 4yo way. He wandered off quite happily.

My mother had me drawing diagrams of the female reproduction system when I was very little - definitely pre-school. Our childminder was quite taken aback. But being matter of fact about it does mean it never becomes scary or anything.

hoxtonchick · 23/02/2008 13:59

my dd (2.7) & ds (6) know that mummy uses tampons each month as i bleed if i'm not having a baby but it doesn't hurt. dd has a good old peer, ds isn't particularly interested.

BoysOnToast · 23/02/2008 15:00

" By thinner on Sat 23-Feb-08 13:43:44
Oh well, guess we can't all be perfect hey. Sometimes we do say the wrong thing to our kids. Live and learn and try not to criticise others parenting skills. "

i have never said i was perfect. sometimes i say the wrong thing too. doesnt mean i cant go back and make it right. live and learn? i suggest you do that.
i criticised your post and your approach to this subject in particular. have no idea about the rest of your parenting, and no interest either tbh, so you can calm yourself on that score. i am entitled to disagree with posts on mn, as are you.
enjoy your day.

Mumcentreplus · 23/02/2008 15:13

Gosh!...(ducks from sniper fire!)..lol

coastalmum · 23/02/2008 15:23

I agree with the honest, open and age appropriate answers to all questions; menstruation, sex, death etc

A parents job is to educate, not fill their heads with nonsense that they then need to unlearn.

RosaIsRed · 23/02/2008 20:32

Exactly, Coastalmum. I find myself getting more and more irritated by those threads where people seem to be competing to see who can give their daughter the most twee euphemism for their vulva. Lily, twinkle, daisy, foo-foo, sugarplum, where the hell is the emoticon when you need it.

terramum · 23/02/2008 20:59

DS has been curious about my period as he has seen me change my mooncup many times. He asks what's that pointing to the blood & I simply tell him that it's my period & that all mummies got them once a month. He was happy with that explanation & wandered off. He then another time asked what the mooncup was & I said it catches mummy period so it doesn't stain my knickers..again he was happy with that. I see no point in making something up or avoiding the question - it's a part of life. I'd rather he grew up feeling comfortable discussing these things so when he comes across them when he's older he won't be scared or embarassed.

...trying to dissuade him from playing with my mooncup like it was a bath toy is another issue

smartiejake · 23/02/2008 20:59

Sorry but give me a euphamism any day (fanjo will do)My friend used to use the proper technical terms for all the female equipment with her 2 year old who very eloquently accused her same aged friend of "trying to look at my vagina" when he lifted up her skirt.
sorry but that's just icky

Mumcentreplus · 23/02/2008 21:22

I don't have an issue with discussing the technical name for private parts but my DDs call it fanfan and I let them...I always called mine a fanny and I knew more about sex at 10 than most 18 year olds..lol..big deal...it's the information you provide that counts I don't lie or make things up but I don't see the big issue

Janni · 23/02/2008 21:32

I give my DD the name for the various bits of sanitary protection she glimpses. I tell her it's normal and that I'll explain it all to her when she's older.

superdenki · 23/02/2008 21:34

My mum always explained things very clearly to us as kids. as a mum now, i think this is the best way. it didn't stop her cringing on the bus home though once when my sister declared loudly "oh mummy you didn't buy your tampons! and now all the blood will go on your knickers"

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