Help me discipline my 7 yr old Dd please

[ChristmasCracker]

Oh god, not again , i just posted a really long thread about my dd's terrible behaviour and me inability to deal with her and it's all gone

Can you press the back button a few times and refind it?

Basically for the last few weeks my 7 yr old dd has been playing up alot and i am at a loss of how to deal with her.

For example, on the way to schhol this morning she ran off infront, hit her sister, ran across the road and generally ignore me and shouted NO everytime i asked her to stop.

Whilst waiting for Dd2's friend Dd1 said that she didn't have to listen to me as she didn't like me and she didn't care if she got into trouble.
I said that she may well regret her behaviour later on.
When i picked her up from school the rudeness carried on.

But what do i actually do with her ??? When we got in today i told her off, said that here behaviour was unaaceptable and that if it continued she would be punished further, but how do i punish her ??

She doesn't have pocket money so i can't take that away, I can't really ban tv cos that wouldn't be fair on Dd2 and Ds, so what do i do with her.
Shes not stupid and she knows i won't punish her cos i don't know how.

HELP

Ahh thanks Festivepussy, why didn't i think of that

what about Pasta?

it has worked a treat with everyone i have told about it, but would mean introducing pocket money

Glad to have helped...My dds are the same age as yours, I have found that a sticker book...first Shrek and now disney princess have worked wonders.
They sell stickers for 30/35p a pack you get 5/6 and then you decide when they can have 1, 2 3 or even the whole pack...they can earn the pennys to buy the pack etc and its a distraction from the naughtyness and a reward system as well as a punishment threat...no sticker if needbe.
Works for me..might for you too.
Isnt this parenting a nightmare???!!!

Hmm yeah sopse i could stretch to 50p or something. She does get pocket money off my dad and brother but they will give it to her wether she has been good or not.

I just feel like she is wrapping me round her little finger and she knows it.
Sometimes she renders me speechless as i am just lost for words.

Good god if i am struggling with her at 7, god help me and her when she is a teenager.

You can ban her from TV, nutty - they can watch, but she has to stay in a different room. What about things like dancing? I know you have to pay upfront for them and it hurts your pocket but you can ground her from things like that.

If treats are in the offing, the others can have them but she can't.

You have to be incredibly strong-willed and stony-faced to get through it but there are ways!

I know, my 7 year old still throws tantrums, although she is good most of the time, I wonder if she will be trashing her room at 15 in temper. I bloody well hope not.

Pasta and stickers are both good ideas although she can be quite stubborn and would quite willingly cut her nose of to spite her face, and say that she didn't care if she got a sticker/peice of pasta etc, that is why i usually struggle to find something that she is really botherd about.

And don't let your dad and brother give her pocket money!!! Tell them to give it to you and you will bank it for when she deserves it!

Janh is right - it's bloody hard but you'll have to really put your foot down with her or you will have a nightmare on your hands when she's a teenager!

Yep thats a good idea, if she knows she will still get from them theres no incentive for her to behave for you...and I bet your the one she spends most of her time with so it should be you shes nice to and is good for.

If she saw her sister get one it might shift here...and if you just shrug and say its your loss...as if you dont care either way..

I have told them before not to give her money/sweets if she has been playing uo but my dad is a pushover (never was witrh me) and will give in and sneak them to her.

She did apologise tonight for her behaviour, but i know she will be exactly the same tommorow.

Well hes doing you no favours and also enforcing in her mind that your not worth listening too

I have a 7 year old daughter so lots of sympathies. Think you have to tackle by saying to her, when you're both calm, that you're both unhappy atm about behaviour etc and how are you both going to agree to deal with it. This is my theory anyway, not saying I'm successful but it helps if she feels I'm on her side I think. Well, helps me anyway.

Hi christmas Cracker! How about making her sit on a chair away from the tv for ten minutes or so? My 7yrds has days like that and i too am often at a loss with a punishment. He doesn't have pocket money either and doesn't seem to care too much about other things I do. The chair thing works quite well. Just have to (try to) calmly tell him 5, 10 however many mins on chair in kitchen while i make tea and others watch tv or play. If he gets off, or is rude or won't get on I increase the time. ~ i am just reading the very american titled book "how to behave so your children will too" dr sal severe (funny). I read loads of stuff with limited success but it's quite a good one. worth a look. Good Luck x Not suggesting you don't behave well by the way x

I know, he only sees them one day a week though and he likes to spoil them.

Right i will have a word with my dad about it and make sure he knows that if i say no then she doesn't get it.

How about if i give her a couple of jobs to do around the house in return for pocket money and then if she misbehaves she gets some taken away or doesn't get any, ?? Sounds confusing.

Actually i think that chair thing might work quite well Keziah. I could sit her in the kitchen away from tv and other kids. Thanks

Will try that too Tinker, it can't hurt can it.

In the book (below)the good doctor has a chart for earning pocket money. Put all the kids on it and all the jobs, each with a time ie 4.20-4.30 ds1 wipe table, then hopefully ds1 does it and earns say 10 points, points get totalled and end of week and converted to pocket money. If 4.20 comes and goes, the job is up for grabs with your other children who then earn the points for themselves. Not sure this helps with disciplining her but i think i am going to give it a try with mine!

I used to use a chair for DD2 when she played up at bedtime - made her come downstairs and just sit on a dining chair. After she had begged to be allowed to go back to bed 3 or 4 times I would let her go but if there was a hint of more playing up down she came again. Sitting on a dining chair staring at the wall is bloody boring. Defo worth a try!

That is a really good idea Keziah, i will try that.

Yes it does sound boring Jan, perfect

Yes chair is good, when my 2 fight I pull 2 chairs out and put them just far enough apart so the girls cant kick each other, which they havent tryed to yet but im sure one day they will(!) then they have to sit and look at each other for 2 mins and if either of them move moan or get off they both have to stay put for another minute.
I do the dishes/wipe the surfaces while they fester and they hate it ssooooo much they dont rip into each other the minute they are allowed off.

Don't they laugh then though FP, mine would.