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Too busy to come to the table.....

50 replies

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 18:44

DCs are 4 (almost 5) and just 3.

They generally eat well and varied - not worried about their diet.

But I am getting increasingly frustrated with them not wanting to come to the table at mealtimes. Some days I dread saying 'food's ready' because it is so often greeted with groans, shouts of 'no' or them running upstairs and hiding under the covers of their beds. They would just rather play.

Anyone else's DCs do this? How do you manage it?

I usually insist that they sit at the table to talk even if they don't want to eat and they end up eating loads. But it is a battle to get them there. When they sit down they eat well and sometimes even end up having cheese sandwiches at the end of the meal (after dessert) because they have eaten all the other food I prepared!

Today I held off lunch hoping one of them would say 'I'm hungry' but ended up having to persuade them to sit down because I was sooo hungry. We had breakfast at 7.30 am and lunch was at 13.20.
For the evening meal, as soon as I said food was ready, they decided to play dressing up. They kept coming in and out of the kitchen in silly outfits. They saw I was eating and I explained that I when I had finished the mealtime would be over. No interest in eating.
When I had finished I got them ready for bed. Neither I nor they mentioned the missed meal.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
lailasmum · 06/02/2008 18:46

They will get hungry eventually and then understand why they need to eat-hopefully.

MaryAnnSingleton · 06/02/2008 18:47

Are you scared of them ?

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 18:49

I am not concerned about how much they eat, more the fact that I don't want them opting out of family mealtimes.

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MaryAnnSingleton · 06/02/2008 18:51

what I meant is, are you afraid of asserting your authority and actually telling them that it's lunch time, you sit at the table and that's that...

NumberSix · 06/02/2008 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 18:51

Scared of my kids? No. Why do you think that?
It just the negative reaction to mealtime interrupting play that gets me down. I don't mind a bit of protest but you'd think I was telling them it was time for a vaccination!

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CorrieDale · 06/02/2008 18:53

I love your final tactic. I suspect you won't have to do that again!

Children just do this though. DS gets so caught up in playing that he just doesn't realise he's hungry. Then it dawns on him and his behaviour deteriorates until he's fed. We discovered quite early on that we should never ask him if he's hungry if he's clearly busy with something, because he'll just say 'no'. We turn off the telly, take away whatever it is he's doing, etc., and then he'll come happily to eat.

MaryAnnSingleton · 06/02/2008 18:53

it just sounded as though you were letting them do what they want instead of what you want ! I'm afraid I'm just a bit stern with ds about things like that

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 18:54

Oh, I see what you mean MAS.
I don't mind telling them.
'That was that' this evening for both of them and it often has been for one or the other. Tonight was the first time both at the same time which is why I felt the need to post.

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Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 18:55

CorrieDale, have used this tactic before but as I just said, this is the first time I have eaten alone. Usually one or the other chooses not to come to the table and misses out on the meal.

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muppetgirl · 06/02/2008 18:55

My ds went though a phase of 'Oh no...'
We've never had meals in front of the telly so I really wasn't sure where it came from.
I got really annoyed as I generally cook from scratch and get majorly annoyed when he won't eat things I know he actually likes.
Now? I call, he comes and if he doesn't the dog gets his food. Only had to do it once...
I refused to give him more as I am not a waitress and I don't run a cafe.

MaryAnnSingleton · 06/02/2008 18:55

mmm, seems a good tactic !

muppetgirl · 06/02/2008 18:57

that should read 'I refuse to give him more food in between meal times if he doesn't eat his meals.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 06/02/2008 18:57

Give them a count down to the food being ready. 10 minutes, 5, etc (oesn't have to be real time.)

I use a time warning for most things and I do find it helps.

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 18:58

So how do you make them MAS?

CorrieDale, I turn off the TV if they are watching. If they are in the middle of playing with something we put it away or on the sideboard 'so it can watch the meal'.
Tonight I was reading them stories and I told them one more book and then we eat. Finished the book, said 'Time to eat' and they ran off and started another activity.

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muppetgirl · 06/02/2008 18:58

Oh, and he then started to take AGES to eat so we gave him a time limit and then took the breakfast away. (Again the dog got it) He only went to nursery hungry once (I did tell them, they agreed with me!)and now he eats fine.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 06/02/2008 18:59

(doesnt'... My bracket ate the d!

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 19:00

We don't have a dog.

No food between mealtimes if they haven't come to the table.

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muppetgirl · 06/02/2008 19:00

Another thing I do do is take the dogs for a walk just before a meal time. Or take him swimming, he is then bothering me every five mins 'Are you cooking tea yet?' as he's hungry.

Have you thought of turning the telly off, putting the toys away and getting them to help you make the meal?

muppetgirl · 06/02/2008 19:01

Do you have a bin?

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 19:01

NAB, I always do the countdown thing.

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Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 19:04

Yes, we have a bin, but it is against my principle to throw good food away. I eat leftovers for lunch on workdays.
Besides the times they don't come to the table they don't care if they don't get the food.
(Although DS once got upset three days later because he realised DH and I had eaten all the cheesecake!)

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Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 19:06

DS helped me make the meal today (but then it went in the oven for half an hour). They also made biscuits.

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muppetgirl · 06/02/2008 19:06

Your child doesn't have to know that the food hasn't actually gone in the bin!

Othersideofthechannel · 06/02/2008 19:07

Some days they are hungry and they sit down before it is ready and I whip up a 'starter' for them to nibble on.

My problem is getting them to respect mealtimes as a family event on the days when they are not hungry.

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