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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I feel bemused why DS friends mum tested his handwriting ability at playdate!

49 replies

frecklyspeckly · 17/01/2008 22:56

My ds started school on september and is 5. He has made one friend who is like a special pal, although he is rather boisterous and we have been gently notified by teacher his immaturity can make my son copy it and she is trying to keep them apart in lessons. We have had a lot of positive feedback onmy sons behaviour but we do not broadcast this to any other parents (because its irrelevent to anyone but us!) Friends mum is a bit insecure in my private opininon, u know, obsessive questioning about what reading book my ds is on on a daily basis.Her son was misbehaving last week at school and she said she asked the teacher how my son had been that day to which the teachersaid she could not discuss other children. Good on her!!

I accompanied him to friends house for tea tonight and after tea friends mum announced she was going to play a little game. She said she was the teacher and got the kids to write their names and draw pictures. Now undoubtedly her child was better(not that i no it makes any difference her child is neater at the age of 5)!! I am just sad and mortified that anyone would exploit this situation like she did because i could see her asessing, identifying and comparing the two kids abilities. My ds was so proud of his beautiful scribbly picture whilst she ignored it and praised her childs beautiful (bloody boringly perfect)pic. I wonder if she has been planning this playdate for some time for this purpose and it makes me feel like my ds has been used to make her son look good and her feel better. I actually feel like its put me off going back, iyswim??
Does anyone understand this or am i being rather paranoid?? she was honestly pushing and ordering thecrayons into the two boys hands, on a mission!! Why cant people just be nice without an ulterior motive??(by the way i prob wont check this thread till tomorrow but pleas will someone reply i feel crap about this (THanxx)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SheikYerbouti · 17/01/2008 22:59

she sopunds like a prize nobbo

avoid at all costs

People like this are quite demanding and dmaging IME and too much contact with her will serve to make you feel inadequate

Someone who used a 5 yo to boost her confidence is odd

daisycat01 · 17/01/2008 23:00

How pathetic, I would try not to let her bother you, easy for me to say, but you sound like you have things in perspective. This woman probaly has issues and sound like she needs reassurance. Try not to worry about it, your son sounds very happy and secure.

DOnt you just hate all the politics involved with kids starting school?? It really does my head in!!

RosaLuxOnTheBrightSideOfLife · 17/01/2008 23:01

She sounds like a loon. She actually did this in front of you? Just thank goodness for your sanity and encourage your son to widen his circle of friends (preferably choosing mates whose mothers do not appear totally deranged).

onebatmother · 17/01/2008 23:02

Sounds v insecure.

perhaps, maybe, time to step away (for you) socially as it's unlikely she'll improve. However, your ds sounds very lovely and you might find, if you think he's enjoying the friendship, that you can cope with her once you've realized that she's a bit sad. (sure you will have lots of posts on here which will back that up.)

S1ur · 17/01/2008 23:02

Perhaps she's feeling bad about her ds behaviour and trying to prove she is in fact the bestest mum because her child can write, so ner ner ner ner.

Or perhaps you misread it?

Either way just laugh about it and ignore odd games

brimfull · 17/01/2008 23:03

she is a loooooooonatic!

Wotz · 17/01/2008 23:03

hope your ds finds a new best mate soon for play dates
she wins prize loon of the day.

SheikYerbouti · 17/01/2008 23:06

I have a mate like this who constantly compares our 2.

I foind her a bit hard work if I am honest, so I try to avoid, because obv my child is the best and I'd hate her to feel inadequate

Original poster

frecklyspeckly · 17/01/2008 23:06

Thank you lovely people

I shall now go upstairs with a smile on my face instead of an angry face, happy and smug that you too believe her to be, as you say, a prize nobbo

OP posts:

Vulgar · 17/01/2008 23:07

I know somebody else just like her.

Ds (8) has been tested on his times tables by his friend's parents.

they are freaks!

Ignore if possible but tell us as it's entertaining!

yurt1 · 17/01/2008 23:08

Barking. Definitely.

ChasingSquirrels · 17/01/2008 23:11

how very very odd. surely the whole point of having friends back is so that either;
i) the kids occupy themselves and you get to put yout feet up; or
ii) the kids occupy themselves and you get to put yout feet up and chat to the other mum if she is a friend of yours.

LynetteScavo · 17/01/2008 23:12

My life! The woman is a loon! And I thought I was bad, asking DC's friends what their parents do for a living. - (They never know, I've had some hilarious answers!)

onebatmother · 17/01/2008 23:16

Lynette! Stop that! They tell their parents, you know, later.
Then their parents post here.

mysonsmummy · 17/01/2008 23:19

im not surprised the teacher has noticed the little boys immaturity - hes 5 ffs.

sushistar · 17/01/2008 23:21

She sounds a bit creepy, it's really unhealthy - as if her ds and your ds were racehorses in competition or something, rather than just little people with their own skills and strengths! Avoid her, I reckon.

cottonflee · 17/01/2008 23:28

Freckly, if this lady ever has your son for tea straight after school, for christ sake do not let her take his book bag, she will be dragging them home so she can have a snoop. Or if you go too, she will wait for you to use the lav and be straight in the bag, to have a quick read.

LynetteScavo · 17/01/2008 23:50

Oh, and I always check the book bags to see which level otrher children are on Doesn't every one? Be truthful!

cottonflee · 18/01/2008 00:10

Once, and once only. And that was when dd brought the wrong bag home, good job really, as up until that point, I hadn't realised that you were supposed to write in them bloody contact/reading book thing. DD's teacher must of thought I was a considerate sod, as it was Easter time and she had been at the school since Sept. I still think the Teacher could of told me I was 'neglecting' my daughter!

stuffitall · 18/01/2008 00:16

euw. nutcase.

maximummummy · 18/01/2008 00:17

she sounds like a weirdo - don't think i'd encourage the friendship further

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 18/01/2008 00:21

Weird mother. Don't let your son go back there; not good for either of you, DS or you! Feel sorry for her DS.

bambam30 · 18/01/2008 08:35

omg i don't know how you didn't say to her now do you feel better- like everyone else says avoid at all costs and if she suggests another playdate i would just reply very sweetly and with a smile on your face 'that no thanks your son has already had his assesments at school' and then jolly your lo away hurriedly

tortoiseSHELL · 18/01/2008 08:45

Probably isn't the case with your situation, but yesterday we had ds1's best friend over (Y2) - it's a regular fixture, and I ended up testing both of them on their spellings for the week. Which I guess could make a jumpy mother think 'what is she doing?'.

The Scenario - they wanted to play 'secret clubs' so I made them a 'secret club house' out of tents in ds1's bedroom. They appointed dd as chief spy, and then set out on missions to spy on my and ds2. So inevitably I ended up capturing ds1, and to set him free they had to get 3 spellings right each (they have just started doing spellings again at school).

So was that wrong? They thought it was very funny, it was a bit of 'fun' practice on their spellings, they didn't realise it was 'work', and they both benefited.

SSSandy2 · 18/01/2008 08:50

I wouldn't let him go to her house without you accompanying him.

I'd drop her like a hot potato in fact. She's weird

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