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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Those with two or more boys two years apart please help!!!

69 replies

momofha · 16/01/2008 18:35

I have two DSs, aged 2,5 and 4,5 and they are slowly driving me insane!!! My question is, is it just my boys that are desperately in need of reining in or is it just the way two, close in age, boys are. I say boys as my friends with two girls close in age dont seem to have the same issues as me.

My boys are constantly bickering, punching, hitting, fighting with each other. They are way too energetic and when I go out the two of them scream around the place spuring each other on and not listening to a word I say as they are too busy shouting and laughing with each other. They just seem to have sooo much energy and bounce in them!! They get into it over toys that they dont want the other to have etc and then there are just fists etc flying!! I have to break them up. If this is what it is like now how am I going to get through the next 15 or so years!!!

Do you have the same experiences as me and if so HOW do you deal with it as I am about to book myself into the funny farm!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Squirdle · 17/01/2008 11:12

My youngest 2 are 2 yrs apart (to the day) and yes we have bickering, but they also love each other dearly and play together really well most of the time. Generally it is DS3 (3) who will throw a punch if there are any, but it is also him who winds DS2 up deliberately They are loud, far too energetic..especially just before bedtime, messy, stubborn but very gorgeous DS1 is 14, so I didn't have these problems with him, but while it is hard work at times, I wouldn't have it any other way as I can see DS2 and 3 staying very close. Boys are fun!!

chipmonkey · 17/01/2008 11:12

momofha, you did say "fists flying@, maybe you meant it figuratively? My eldest are 11 and 9 and do fight but it tends (mostly!) to be good -natured wrestling. I was one of 3 girls growing up and from what I remember it tended to be more like bitchy little comments, hair-pulling and the odd kick in the shins.
But I do get on very well with my sisters now!

chipmonkey · 17/01/2008 11:12

X posts

largeginandtonic · 17/01/2008 11:18

I have 5 boys (one girl) The oldest are twins age 9, then 5 years old, 2 years old and 7 months (dd is 7) they do fight alot. Particularly the twins they bounce of the walls! The other 2 (5 and almost3) bicker, constantly. They rarely play nicely together and it does drive me insane!

No real advice i'm afraid, just let them be boys and police it if it gets out of hand. I spend most of my time with my hands over my eyes

Love boys though and would love the next one to be a boy too. DD is a whole other story!

TheDullWitch · 17/01/2008 11:30

My boys are 21 months apart and now 10 and 12 and can t agree on anything, constant battles and fisties. Am relieved from this to learn it isn't unusual. I just hope they ll be mates when they're adults.

meemar · 17/01/2008 11:30

momofha - my boys are the same ages as yours and as everyone says, the boistrousness is normal!

Do they have any tender moments at all though? We encorage our boys to be loving and caring towards each other. If one hurts the other (usually DS2 the bruiser) we make them apologise followed by a kiss and a hug. They also say goodnight to each other at night and kiss.

I also get them to hold hands when go out if DS2 is not in his pushchair. I feel it all helps to encourage caring behaviour between them.

Now, spontaniously they will tell each other that they love the other one (it's very cute )

DS1 has just started school this month and DS2 misses him terribly!

ernest · 17/01/2008 11:32

are you really not (a confrontational person)?

Because I found your answer really patronising.

I answered your op in good faith.

trying to be helpful, not score points or anything. I was genuinely alarmed at you seemingly describing a scene of wanton violence and destruction! I was merely trying to say that imo lots of violence is bad. lots of bickering is perhaps normal.

I thought I was trying to help you by suggesting lots of hitting needed to be stopped.

I don't expect a sarcastic or 'school marm' response when I take time to try and help someone who's asked for help.

Original poster

momofha · 17/01/2008 11:53

Ernest, let it go.

Meermar, my DS2 is the bruiser of the two as well Yes they do tender moments too like the kissing goodnight and saying I love you to each other (more so DS1 telling DS2) It is sooo sweet and evokes a tear and a smile. It makes all the bad times seem unimportant.

Oh you gotta just love boys!! My fav at the moment is the collection of rocks, twigs, leaves, etc that DS2 collects on the way to drop DS1 at school. Infuriating to stop all the time but oh so cute. He also misses DS1 terribly whilst he is at school

OP posts:

meemar · 17/01/2008 12:09

Forgot to say that as well as the scrapping, my favourite thing about having two little boys is the inventive way they manage to fit the words 'poo' and 'bottom'into any conversation or song or game they are having

cornsilk · 17/01/2008 12:10

My two argue less than they play together actually! However their play is generally very noisy and physical which is what my neighbour complains about. They don't actually fight with each other. They can more and more be found curled up together. In the last holiday they actually sat and read books to each other!

jellies · 17/01/2008 12:14

Corn silk can I just say I would stick a note through your neighbours letterbox 8 times a day until she got the messsage!! tell her how far her bin is from the wall... or where her car is parked... I'll bet in two days you won't be getting any more.. I done it with a lady down the road exactly the same prob!
Mostly I let my boys 4 and 3 sort it out themselves, prob only really started when the older one started school, but when they sort it out they are best friends!... when they're good they're very very good and...
I'm hoping its just a passing thing!??? LOL

cornsilk · 17/01/2008 12:16

Nice tip jellies! Mr Anal probably measures how far his bin is from the wall already and he hides his precious car up his drive in case it gets touched by a passing child. I will be on look out in case he slips up!

jellies · 17/01/2008 12:22

LOL nightmare! How can someone find the sound of children playing all be it at great volume so upsetting???? Its not like its the middle of the night!

SoupDragon · 17/01/2008 12:25

In answer to the OP. Yes, get used to it In their defence, DSs love each other as fiercely as they hate each other too.

cornsilk · 17/01/2008 12:27

No - most noisy between 4 and 7, then ds2 is shipped off upstairs to get ready for bed. Occasionally ds1 can have a tantrum about something or other after that but it is occasionally. We aren't playing loud music etc. Idiot.
He lived in a detached house previously and seems to think he should enjoy the same noise level.

Enid · 17/01/2008 12:27

cornsilk · 17/01/2008 12:28

lol!

SoupDragon · 17/01/2008 12:30

NicMac · 17/01/2008 12:30

Hi
Mine are really close apart - 5 mins! Ihave 5 year old twins and another little boy who is 8 months old. Yes, boys are boisterous and physical but I think they can be reined in a bit by taking them swimming, walks anything which uses up the excess energy. If all else fails I ban television or bedtime story !
Good luck

meemar · 17/01/2008 12:30

LOL Enid!

scampadoodle · 17/01/2008 12:31

Oh, I am so pleased to read this thread! There's 2.9yrs between my two - 3.7 & 6.4 - & they are relentlessly physical. Lots of funfights & wrestling (which often end in tears when one, usually DS1, is a bit overenthusiastic) & the odd episode of meanness, but they do love eachother.

They drive me nuts though, & put out DH's back once!

They're only like this when in the house.

jellies · 17/01/2008 12:35

LOL

SoupDragon · 17/01/2008 12:40

Someone (I think it was Cod) said boys are easier to deal with if you accept that they are like dogs. So, let them out to run about "chasing rabbits" in the garden, hose them down when they come back in and feed them regularly.

Original poster

momofha · 17/01/2008 15:40

Soupdragon, LOL, LOL. Fantastic!! Make sure the hosing is done with ice cold water and that should sort them.

No seriously with the weather the way it is at the mo it is really hard for them to have a run outside and there are only so many times you can go to the soft play!! Like the swimming idea but the local Lido, rightly so, say 2 children per adult and I have a baby too so there goes that idea. Cant wait for the Summer...............

OP posts:

ingles2 · 17/01/2008 15:48

my 2 boys are 18 months apart, they don't really argue at all but are very physical with each other in a Star Wars / Transformers kind of way...it can get a bit much, but if I try and tell them to calm down, they will defend each other to the bitter end. I think I'm really lucky in that they are polar opposites i.e 1 is mathematical,quiet, serious other is a drama queen! think they would be very hard work if they were similar.

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