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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4 year old ds scared to be alone after watching Dr who

40 replies

dirtygertiefromnumber30 · 30/12/2007 12:51

About a month ago ds stayed the night at my sister's house and she allowed him to stay up with his cousin and watch Dr Who. It was apparently quite a scary one (something about disappearing zombies) and since then he wont be alone in a room at all. SO, wont go to the loo without me, wont go upstairs to fetch a toy / get dressed, wont go into kitchen to fetch drink etc. It's a NIGHTMARE. Im having to leave his light on to sleep and this morning when he woke up he wouldnt go downstairs (dh and the baby were already down there) as he wouldnt be on the landing or stairs on his own.

I thought it would just peter out on its own but he seems to be getting worse. How do I handle this? Need advice!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Ledodgy · 30/12/2007 13:01

Oh no what a nightmare could you buy him a Dr Who sonic screwdriver so if he sees any zombies he can zap them himself?

Ledodgy · 30/12/2007 13:02

I wasn't being flippant there btw but maybe if you acknowledge his fears then give him back some control over them it will help.

hatrick · 30/12/2007 13:02

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HonoriaGlossop · 30/12/2007 13:04

Dr who is often very scary for this age group. I think in so far as you can, you just need to go with what he needs at the moment - if he's asking for the reassurance of your presence, then give it unless it's absolutely impossible. My ds is 5.5 and he still won't go to the loo alone. It's not that unusual in this age group to not want to be alone - they are learning more about the world and it's scary for them, it's alot to deal with and they can be prey to fears.

I think just keep giving him what he needs and that is probably actually the quickest way out of this phase - attempting to make him do things alone could just result in him becoming more anxious IMO. i know it's hard but it won't be forever.

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 30/12/2007 13:05

I would be most peed off at my DS for allowing a 4 year old to watch Dr Who. TBH

Ledodgy · 30/12/2007 13:06

Me too Brie.

hatrick · 30/12/2007 13:08

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HonoriaGlossop · 30/12/2007 13:08

oh and I think buying a sonic screwdriver is a brilliant idea led!

Also we had lots of conversations with ds about it being actors in costumes, etc and that has really seemed to help him. We talked about how the 'zombie' man might drive to work or get the train, how long he has to sit in the make up chair, what made him decide to be an actor, and all about going to college to learn to be an actor, etc etc etc. the reality of it being a job like any other has really helped ds cope with things like that.

HonoriaGlossop · 30/12/2007 13:10

yes I agree btw DS has not seen Dr who and he will be six next birthday. I don't think this current dr who is for kids really let alone ones this young! Hope you've told your sister the effects of what she allowed him to watch dirtygertie! You must be peed off.

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 30/12/2007 13:11

My DS is 6.5 and loves the associated paraphenalia but has yet to see Dr Who.[Meanie Mummy emoticon] So the sonic screw driver might be a very good idea.

HonoriaGlossop · 30/12/2007 13:12

I'm not making myself clear, must be too many mince pies. I meant we talked about ANYthing ds found scary, not about this particular zombie man iyswim as he has not seen dr who. DS has seen things like Star Wars and we've discussed the various baddies in that...ds now wants to be an actor so I think the discussions about it as a job have inspired that as well as allayed some fears!

Aitch · 30/12/2007 13:12

was it 'blink'? it was an episode about statues that disappear and move to kill you when you blink your eyes. it was absolutely BRILLIANT and utterly terrifying, quite the best dr who ever imo. but i am 36. i saw an advance copy and warned MN about it becuase it was totally unsuitable for young kids imo. i would be livid with my sis if she'd let my child watch it.

PS if it was blink (ask about statues, a big house etc) then the dr wasn't actually in the episode much and didn't defeat the baddies. it was all about a girl called sally sparrow.

hatrick · 30/12/2007 13:13

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belgo · 30/12/2007 13:18

Dr Who gives me nightmares, as an adult!

My first ever nightmare that I remember was about the daleks invading my school!

belgo · 30/12/2007 13:19

'Blink' was a great episode, and I am more wary of statues now.

Aitch · 30/12/2007 13:22

that bit at the end where dr who looks straight into the camera and says 'don't blink, never blink'. if i'd been four i'd never have had a light off again. mind you, it might have been the pig zombies one, the thing with the half-dalek. i never watched that. dirtiegertie, there are some dr whos on the bbc iplayer, including the 'making of' shows. perhaps that would help him to see they aren't real?

southeastastra · 30/12/2007 13:31

i'd explain to him that it's all made up. show him some of the really hilarious past monsters like this licorice allsort thing

LeonieD · 30/12/2007 15:21

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juuule · 30/12/2007 15:30

We do the explaining that it's not real. We've shown the 'making of' type things for other films etc. Lots of sitting with them while they're watching and we answer any questions they may have. Seems to work for our dc. Youngest is 4yo and watches Dr. Who with the rest of us. Think some of it is down to the child aswell (as usual) as it's our 7yo who sometimes needs more reassurance about things.

FrannyandZooey · 30/12/2007 15:33

ds was similarly scared after a misjudged panto visit last year

it did wear off but it took time - sorry to not have better advice. Oh and make sure your dsis knows better next time!

Original poster

dirtygertiefromnumber30 · 30/12/2007 15:46

thanks, just logged back on - some great advice. I wasnt sure whether pandering to it was going to prolong the 'phase' but i think im just going to have to go with it for now.

I have done lots of reassuring / explaining about actors/ tv pretence etc but he's not convinced!

Its just so inconvienient! He was quite an independant little boy (as independant as you can be at 4) and I feel we've gone back about 2 years!

Bloody sisters! (she thinks its all a big fuss about nothing and I need to toughen him up if this is his response!!!)

OP posts:

Emprexia · 30/12/2007 16:12

LeonieD, knowing how you are about Dr Who, i can't imagine your DD ever being bothered by it.

hehe waves

JacanneAbox · 30/12/2007 16:22

Why would you want to toughen up a 4 year old FGS!! DD1 came downstairs when the last episode of Dr Who was on, on Christmas Eve - she saw the bit where he was all small and gremlin-like. She got very upset and wouldn't write her note to Santa, sprinkle the reindeer food or anything. She went to bed in tears and DH had to stay in her room til she went to sleep. I thought it would be okay to leave it on because there were no monsters as such in that episode - I felt terrible.

She was also very upset by Numberjacks - only saw one episode but we had a hysterics at 5pm for about 2 weeks, even though we never had it on again.

I like the sonic screwdriver idea though.

juuule · 30/12/2007 16:24

'toughening up' is a horrible phrase and totally unnecessary.

mumeeee · 30/12/2007 19:02

Dr Who is not for 4 year old.Just kep reassuring him and getting him a sonic screw driver seems a good idea.

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