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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4 year old ds scared to be alone after watching Dr who

40 replies

dirtygertiefromnumber30 · 30/12/2007 12:51

About a month ago ds stayed the night at my sister's house and she allowed him to stay up with his cousin and watch Dr Who. It was apparently quite a scary one (something about disappearing zombies) and since then he wont be alone in a room at all. SO, wont go to the loo without me, wont go upstairs to fetch a toy / get dressed, wont go into kitchen to fetch drink etc. It's a NIGHTMARE. Im having to leave his light on to sleep and this morning when he woke up he wouldnt go downstairs (dh and the baby were already down there) as he wouldnt be on the landing or stairs on his own.

I thought it would just peter out on its own but he seems to be getting worse. How do I handle this? Need advice!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 30/12/2007 19:05

Dear God

He is 4 years, not 14. Why oh why would you do that to a child.

PrismManchip · 30/12/2007 19:08

Good grief Dr Who scares me! And I am 35. I have had to turn off a couple of episodes. (The one with the gasmask-children: "Mummy! Muuuuuuuummmmmmmyyyyyy!" had me in floods of tears as well.)

I have a 4-yr-old boy and I would tbh be very angry. I had to run for the remote as Dr Who started at about 5pm one day last week...

How about letting him watch a much much gentler episode, to kind of exorcise the demons iyswim? I can't think of one offhand but there are whole threads discussing Dr Who.....

PrismManchip · 30/12/2007 19:09

Agree about 'toughening up' btw disgusting way to see people as weak because they are scared by something that is designed to frighten adults

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 30/12/2007 19:15

well how about we toughen up your sister by never letting her nephew stay there again as she doesn't seem to be able to look after him appropriately! What's next - him sleeping in the shed to 'toughen him up' - he's still a baby! Sorry - no suggestions on how to fix this - just v cross on your behalf!!

JacanneAbox · 30/12/2007 23:39

Maybe a "mild" Dr Who and then "Dr Who Confidential" afterwards which shows exactly how it's made? That might reassure him that it really is pretend?

LeonieD · 01/01/2008 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Emprexia · 02/01/2008 03:03

This place keeps me going when Delphi is quiet, always plenty to read, hehe.

seeker · 02/01/2008 06:40

My ds was terrrified of Finding Nemo when he was 4, never mind Dr Who! And he has to watch Dr WHo hiding behind dp, dd and me now and he's nearly 7!

bossybritches · 02/01/2008 06:48

The Dr Who website has lots of piccies & behind the scenes stuff whch might reassure him about the real people behind it although I'd have a quick scan through before you show him so he isn't traumatised all over again!!

HTH

Ubergeekian · 07/01/2008 22:53

I don't blame him for being scared: "Dr Who and the Sea Monsters" seen at 7 gave me nightmares for years and "First Spaceship on Venus" seen at 10 (thank you ABC cinemas for a crap Saturday matinee programming decision) meant that I couldn't sleep in the dark for six years.

I'd suggest trying, gently, to discover exactly what he is scared of - invading monsters? death rays? mutant gunge from planet X? - and then working out a way to deal with that fear.

When I was bout 7 I became terrified of the lion which lived behind the settee at the house of friends of my parents. I absolutely refused to go there, until my father made me a lion detector. It had switches and pipes and a light guaranteed to go on when near a lion. I took it with me on the next few visits - no light, no lion, happy little me.

So if there is a specific fear, perhaps a convincing looking detector for the source of that fear would help?

Incidentally, I did suggest that we take a trip to the zoo to test the detector - a scientist even then. My parents were curiously reluctant to do this. Odd, that.

edam · 07/01/2008 22:59

poor ds. I think bossy's link could be very helpful in showing him it's not real. But he'll probably still need lots of reassurance.

FWIW ds was terrified at the panto last year, found the wicked queen in Sleeping Beauty very scary and had to be taken out. On the way home I showed him a picture of the actress out of costume in the programme and that really helped (especially as she happened to live in our town, so it made her really real, IYKWIM).

MrsWeasley · 07/01/2008 23:42

When I was younger there was a Dr Who with Maggots that shot green laser jets. Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll girls white school socks when you take them off and throw them towards the washing pile, look just like these maggots in the dark, once you have jumped into bed. Beleive me they really do!!!!! I can vividly remember being scared beyond belief by the maggots (OK! rolled up socks) on my floor. (I am still scared and I saw the episoded about 30 years ago )

Even now I cant watch Dr Who. My dh started watching it with the DCs so I tried again and it was the episode about the "Empty Child" "Are you my mummy?" I bloody cried buckets not to mention had to stop it half way through because I was so scared I thought I was going to have a heart attack!!!!!

And now the Darleks can blardy well fly so hiding upstairs doesnt even work!

Don't even get me started on the Cybermen or the statutes that move when you blink.

edam · 08/01/2008 13:56

Empty child episode was horrid, I agree. And Blink was v. scary. But I am mostly afraid of the cybermen - some childhood fears resurfaced when they came back (and I'm in my late 30s)!

Ds aged four has watched some Dr Who - the website gives a 'fear factor' rating for each episode, including one from a four year old. We make sure he sees Confidential afterwards so it is very clear that it is all make believe. I would not be happy if someone else plonked him down in front of any old episode without our permission.

PrettyCandles · 08/01/2008 14:06

I'm foever gobsmacked at the number of people who think Dr Who is suitable for little children.

At this age the boundaries between RL and fiction are still completely blurred. Demonstrating that Dr Who is Not Real may make no difference whatsoever. May even make it worse if he realises that it's his own head that is making him frightened.

I think the best thing is to just accept it, for the time being. Just go with him wherever he needs you to, without making any point, without emphaissing that you are hleping him, without admitting that there is something to be afriad of. Just boringly normally. Yes, it's a hassle - but remember the days when you couldn't go to the loo without a companion? They've returned.

Gradually you may find something that empowers him, and gives him some confidence when in a situation he finds fearful. Eg the knowledge that Mummy will puff out her magic breath and blow the bad dream away, and then maybe you can teach him the magic breath trick.

He's only 4, he's barely more than a toddler yet.

edam · 08/01/2008 19:54

Um, PC, clearly the OP's child is distressed but for my ds, showing it is Not Real does help, actually. And my judgement is that there are some episodes he can watch safely - as explained, there is guidance on the website which we have found helpful.

But I wouldn't allow a visiting 4yo to watch Dr Who. Up to the parent to decide for their own offspring.

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