My 8 year old ds1 has 'behavioural issues'. He is rude, stomps around the house scowling at everyone, doesn't register what we ask him to do (eg get dressed, clean your teeth etc), is physically aggressive with his brother (5) and verbally agressive to him and his sister (2) and seems to take pleasure from his brother getting told off to name just a few of his 'issues'. When I try to talk to him about his behaviour he will often get upset and teary and says he is sorry but this doesn't seem to make any difference to his behaviour and he will be back in 'monster child' mode within minutes of the tears.
I know I am not helping because I am at my wits end with him. I lose my temper, threaten him with whatever punishment I can think of off the top of my head, shout at him etc. I also try reasoning with him, trying to talk about why he behaves like he does, how he feels when he is like this but he just says he doesn't know. Basically I'm hugely inconsistent and breaking every rule in the book but it is so wearing dealing with the constant bad behaviour!
Anyway, the current crisis is that a couple of weeks ago his nanny told me she thought he was 'horrid' and I have been thinking that maybe I should give up work and stay home as at least I love him and why should she when he is so constantly rude to her (she has looked after him since he was 2mths old so they do have a deep relationship) but have just discussed this with my dh who tells me he thinks ds1 is a 'horrid, nasty, vindictive little boy'.
So now I'm dispairing as it seems that everyone has written him off and I am the only one left in his corner and I know I have nothing left to try in this fight. Is his behaviour normal? Do I get him counselling? Do I get me parenting classes? And how can I turn this situation around if everyone is against him? God help him if he only has me to rely on!