Who has a good method for getting primary school aged dc to do what they're asked....without asking over and over again?

[Earlybird]

I'm fed up of sounding like a parrot every morning/evening - for example, one of the many things I say repeatedly: 'brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, BRUSH YOUR TEETH NOW! 'you dont have to speak to me that way Mummy'. And then I often reply 'well, I didn't speak to you that way the first 3 times I asked'. And so it goes...

Does anyone have a solution, or is this an unavoidable phase? Surely at almost 7 we shouldn't be having this same scenario every day? It makes me feel grumpy/guilty, and it's not the how I want to interact with my dd. We should be baking cakes and singing songs and laughing and joking mostly....shouldn't we?

Ah Bink - always glad to see your name on a thread of mine.

I think you're right, dd (and I) are tired. Perhaps I also need to realise that she may have her own pace, which is different to my own early morning efficiency of movement. Think I may try moving our morning routine 15 minutes earlier so that normal dithering doesn't have the same schedule-busting potential.

Interesting that you have linked rewards to responsibility. Perhaps I need to set up a more formal system that, if adhered to, entitles dd to treats, rather than motivating by the occasional threat to withdraw priviledges. Yours is a much more positive approach, I think.

By the way Bink, was out for supper the other night in a nearby historical 'town square', and looked over the road to see a shop that unavoidably made me think of you:

www.binksoutfitters.com

Too bad it isn't a bookshop - that would be more appropriate, I think!

Checking in to say the past 3 days have been much better. Perhaps it was the shock tactic shouting on Friday that did it? That and lots of praise for dd seem to have got a result, as this week she has moved along as needed when asked. Ahhh....so much more pleasant!

"Mummy, we are too rushed in the mornings."

Out of the mouths of babes and infants...

she's got the answer, IMO.

:-)

(the question of whether you find some way to deschedule your lives, or find a way to ensure you have enough time not to be frazzled by the existing schedule is up to your family, of course)

Earlybird-
I thought I was the only one who goes mad with repetition. My daughter is 5, just started school and the mornings/ bath/ bedtime are all just as you describe. There is no concept of time. Giving time warnings... ie: you need to get dressed in 10 minutes/ 5 minutes / now have variable effect. Being more stern and saying- I am going to get cross if you don't etc work if she isn't too tired, otherwise it all ends in tears. We have had many tantrums and tears all started from something minor which has turned into a major issue. I too have felt awful, and the only way for me to feel better is to know that the next interaction/ next morning it is all forgotten about. I also ensure that there is no ill feeling at school drop off or at bedtime. I would say that a couple of things do work at the minute. The countdown as described by perpetualworrier as I am on the turn. The other thing is the threat of xmas presents disappearing as santa is watching!
I empathise and now feel like I am not the only one!

Earlybird, don't know if this will work for you but works for ds2 (7) like a dream.

We had a 'chat' about getting ready in the morning and I told him I thought he was old enough to be trusted to get himself ready on time (cue proud grin) but that maybe we could come up with a way to help him achieve that.

He ended up making his own tickchart (god, that sounds wanky all written down but it's very sweet - he decorated it and everything). On it, we put things like 'Get dressed by 8am'. 'Finish breakfast by 8.20am' etc etc

Mornings are now hilarious - much rushing around to look at the clock and get things done and tick things off. Result!

Now, just ds1 and ds3 to sort out...

Thanks for the additional suggestions.

We're doing better atm, I think as a result of OTT praise and cuddles on days she gets ready in a reasonable amount of time.

On days that dawdling looms and threatens to upset us, I now will say something along the lines of:

1. 'Remember how nice it feels when you get dressed without Mummy having to ask you over and over? It makes for a much nicer morning doesn't it, so move along now so we can have a happy morning'

1. 'You're now starting to faff (sp?), and that is exactly the sort of behaviour that makes Mummy upset. We both know we have to move along in the mornings to get to school on time, so please get ready and we can chat in the car'.

Seems to be working atm........which must mean it's all about to go pear-shaped again!

It sounds that you are better off me. Yours is 4 years younger than mine and I'm doing the same thing everyday. I often think that we should get them to carry a tape-recorder so that it would save our energy right in the morning. I need a solution, too.