Potty training - how do you leave the house??!

[Janus]

My daughter has really got in to using her potty after about a week ago I said she could have some chocolate if she went wees in the potty. I didn't think she'd actually go as the potty has been kicking around for about 6 months but it has all seemed to click.
Anyway, she goes about every 10 minutes at home (isn't getting chocolate any more!!) and is so proud of herself. BUT if I leave the house I've been using nappies as she just sort of forgets about her potty if we're in the park/shopping, etc and happily wets herself!
Today I really tried, went supermarket shopping with her just in knickers and left my trolley in the aisle 3 times when she insisted she wanted to sit on her potty. I had one of those tommee tippee travel ones and she sat on it each time and nothing. She then wet herself on the way back to the car!
When at home she is generally either naked or just has knickers on. I'm guessing I probably need to keep her in full clothes and make her tell me when she needs the loo so she gets the idea of having to ask and then us being prepared.
How long does the weeing every 10 minutes last, ie do they learn to control their bladder a bit more? What do/did you use when you were out of the house, perhaps she doesn't like the portable potty? Do u wipe at this stage or wait until they are going less frequently?
It's quite difficult this isn't it!
PS My daughter is 2 and 3 months.
Big thanks.

I tried the potty training when dd was 2 and 4 months and had same problems - left it a few months and tried again - bingo! within a week she was completely dry and within 3 weeks had given up potties and onto big toilet - maybe if your dd is using the potty every 10 minutes she doesn't really have bladder control and is not ready yet...

Janus, can't remember when we started but DD is now 2yr7mth and seems to have been in pants for ages so must have been a while ago. I remember the 10 minutes thing so well. It drove me mad. However it sounds like she's got the general idea so I think you've just got to grit your teeth. When I first PT DS I used nappies when we went out but felt it confused him so stopped and things got better, but then he was nearly 3. DD however never had nappies once we'd started and although we had lots of accidents they do get better fairly quickly. Try not to give drinks just before you leave the house (we used to give drinks in the car to keep them happy so it took a bit of getting used to). I had a free sample of those disposable pampers changing mats and used to put that on the seat beneath her in case of accidents. Think you can buy proper accident pads now. Keep spare clothes in the car but most imporatnly remember to ask her frequently (training yourself this one). She won't have reached the stage where she will remember all the time yet so you have to keep prompting. After a while she will go longer between (she may just be a bit nervous about accidents now, just like you ) DD will now happily hold on through traffic jams and all sorts. You will get there but it is a damp journey. And if you really do find it to much then like grommit said, there is no shame at all in stopping for a month or so and then trying again. Thats what I did with DS and once he was ready he got it in a week.

This was the only stage I used to use pull-ups - I used to explain that they were only if they really really could not hold on but otherwise they must use the potty/toilet. Try using the portable potty at home to get her used to it - I found these a Godsend - not often used but when it was it was a real emergency (like in the queue at Disneyland Florida & whilst stuck on the motorway following an accident).
If she hates the portable potty - take her own in a plastic bag - just nip to the loo in the supermarket and use it there - tip wee into the loo and wipe out with antibacterial wipes. It does get better when they learn to control their bladder a bit more (then they learn that needing a wee gets them out of the shop or down from the table)

Had similar difficulties with DS2 aged 2 1/2. He simply was not ready - had all the ideas and understood what was required but did not have the control. We tried again 4 months later and it went like a breeze.

I'd say your DD simply isn't ready. Continue with the encouragement etc but don't expect her to get it right just yet. And go out in pull ups!

Good luck! This is probably the first thing we actually have to teach our children rather than them simply picking it up by themselves. It's not easy for Trainer or Trainee!

My take on this is that your dd is doing really well and it would be a backword step to start using nappies full-time again. She has the right idea and now it's just the timing that has to be jigged about a bit. Have you cut out everything from her diet that might cause her to go more often? Fruit juice and colourings used to affect my dd quite dramatically! Using a kitchen timer might help to lengthen the spaces between wees and would remind you to ask her regularly.

To help cope with accidents, care mats are great and you can also buy something called a 'Piddlepad' (ghastly name, I think!) from GLTC. Good luck!

I'm there with you - we're doing it too !! dd is just 2 and is getting the hang of it I think !

We've been out for the first time today and took the potty with us - she performed twice in front of her toddler group - and had one accident - then had another wee in the car-park before we came home !

3 accidents today, 2 yesterday - it's swings and roundabouts really - but I'm not giving up yet ! This was day 6 for us - don't think we'll crack it entirely in a week, but we're still trying.

All tips welcome !

Thanks everyone. My instinct is to not let this go, only because she initiated the process really and she is actually doing poos too in the potty and she just seems to have got the idea. I did buy pull-ups yesterday and I think if we're going out for the whole day I'll put her in these, if for an hour or two I will try her in knickers, practice with the portable potty at home and then use this and take plenty of spare clothes with me! You're right, I think I have to get into making her wee before we leave the house and then keep asking her, rather than relying on her to tell me. Good point about drinks too as she has this if shopping etc to try and ease the process so will have to stick to fruit or something. I think practising around the house by making her being fully clothed would probably help too. We'll keep trying, I think, and she hasn't weed for 20 minutes now and is in her knickers!

Stress the fact with your DD that pull ups are like knickers and not nappies and it's not OK to wee/poo in them as a matter of course.

Another thing - ty not to remind them too often about having a wee as my DS used to simply say "no" as an automatic reaction when I asked too often, only to have an accident. If you watch your DD carefully, you'll get to recognise that little dance they do when they really need to go but don't want to stop what they're doing Of course, if it's a control problem at the moment, there will be no "dance" just an accident...

I don't think there are any miracle suggestions that work for everyone!!

Hate disagreeing with people but I found pull-ups to be hopeless. I think they must feel just like a nappy on as whatever I said to my children thats how they used them. They are also more expensive that nappies and don't hold very much. I just gritted my teeth and stuck with the pants.

Not that this will make you feel any better, but my dd took nearly a year of training. We had so many accidents that I was at the end of my tether. However rather than pull ups I used training pants which were more like knickers and got wet, but saved the clothes on many occassions.

Good luck and keep going, I wouldn't go back to nappies because this is even more confusing. My dd still wears nappies at night, but this morning I hadn't got round to getting her dressed and she pooed in her nappy, I was so cross as it was pure laziness, she knew she was wearing a nappy and she decided it wasn't worth bothering to go to t he loo!!

Have't read all messages so sorry if I'm duplicating but once your DD is out of nappies don't put her in them when you go out as she will get confused.

It is a messy business unfortunately but all will fall into place in the end. You may want to wait a bit longer especially as the weather is starting to get nasty.

I'm amazed - my dd - just 2 on Monday - is on day 7 of potty-training, she woke up really early today - 4.45am and was really grumpy and unlike herself. We brought her into our bed and tried to go back to sleep but she was really unsettled - she had her morning milk early and drank the lot, but still wouldn't settle. Asked by dh if she had a pain she said "Yessssssss" but wouldn't/couldn't say where.

Eventually I got up with her and asked her if she wanted the potty - she said yes and ran to the bathroom, LO and BEHOLD a totally dry nappy and an enormous wee in the potty !!

Bless her - she had held on for all that time - I am seriously stunned !!!

She's at nursery today, so I'm hoping she will continue to make progress - I'm definitely not going back - despite the fact that I've had to shampoo the carpets this morning !

Crunchie, I sympathise. My dd is out of nappies during the day but still wears them at night. We're pretty sure that on many (or even most) days her nappy is dry when she first wakes, but she refuses to take it off until she's had a wee in it! At the moment we're giving her the benefit of the doubt, but I can feel the time approaching when we have to bite the bullet and do away with nappies altogether.

Oh Azzie I know what you mean, she can go without a nappy, and some nights she will chosse to go nappyless. But if she has an accident she always asks for a nappy the next night. We give her the choice at the mo, but soon we will bite the bullet and go free!

Agree with Katherine that Pull ups cause more confusion than help. However we found that the Kooshies pants were a godsend when travelling as ds often left it a bit late to ask for the toilet when in unfamiliar circumstances. They are patterned and look/feel more like pants but have some absorbancy. They also feel damp after an accident which I felt got the mesage home quicker than Pull Ups did. They go on a hot wash and Tumble dry. Ds also found Pull ups hard to get up and down in time so we rapidly abandoned them.

Overall I would advise Janus to stick with it longer and quietly mop up behind her. However if she can't hold on for longer soon I would also suggest leaving it for a few weeks as her bladder may not be ready yet and you don't want to create a habit of needing to go so frequently.

LizS

Can I just ask anyone that has children dry at night did you tackle both at the same time or days first? When did you know they were ready to start trying at night? I'm contemplating starting PT with ds (2.3yrs).

Hi floops, I have just done potty training with my ds and it was much better than I expected. We spent about a week with him at home, nothing on but with quite a few accidents. Followed by about 2 weeks in pants, with him at first refusing to take them off when he went on the potty. Followed by a few days fully dressed and him calling me to help him. Then went on short trips as advised by brilliantly knowledgable mumsnetters (asking him to go on the potty before we left and when we returned)He had a couple of accidents early on but then we really went for it and straight into no nappies day and night. He has only ever had one accident at night and that was due to a marathon 15 hour sleeping session! The last hurdle was nursery, he was very unsure about wearing pants there, but we went shopping for special nursery pants with his favourite characters on them, coupled with taking his favourite potty into nursery too and hey presto, all done! I reckon it took about a month all in, but the night time thing was not a problem at all, his nappy was normally dry in the mornings anyway. That I think is the indication for night times. Best of luck, I am truly amazed at how it kind of progressed on its own. (Ds was 2yrs 9 months when we started, which I know some people think is quite late but it was absolutely the right time for him!)

Thanks jessi

I need some advice too please. DS is 2 and 5 months - Im not sure he is ready for potty training. We leave his nappy off alot in the day but he just wees on the floopr / laundry or anything else that is unfortunately positioned. I know the general advice is to leave the training until nothing else is going on in their lives but when does that happen? We have a really hectic time planned including a move back to UK. Shortly after that I will go back to work (eek) so there is never going to be a good time in the nearish future to train him. I want to do it myself, not leave it to others but is it worth trying to rush him through the process in the next week or two? If I dont do this I cant say when we might get another chance.

I need some advice too please. DS is 2 and 5 months - Im not sure he is ready for potty training. We leave his nappy off alot in the day but he just wees on the floopr / laundry or anything else that is unfortunately positioned. I know the general advice is to leave the training until nothing else is going on in their lives but when does that happen? We have a really hectic time planned including a move back to UK. Shortly after that I will go back to work (eek) so there is never going to be a good time in the nearish future to train him. I want to do it myself, not leave it to others but is it worth trying to rush him through the process in the next week or two? If I dont do this I cant say when we might get another chance.

sorry, posted twice

One thing to bear in mind is that, generally speaking, the later you leave it, the quicker it is. DS1 was not ready at 2 1/2 and we struggled with it with no progress at all for 3 weeks but he got it in a week (at Christmas!) 4 months later.

The problem with doing it when you have "major" events looming is the possiblity of a relapse when, say, you move back to the UK or start a job. Things like that may upset your DS and cause a lapse back into accidents. Then again, it may not of course - nothing's ever cut and dried in the world of todder rearing.

When you've left his nappy off have you tried pants and explaining what is expected of him? If he's not ready, there's no point forcing him. My son knew what was expected of him at 2 1/2 but just wasn't ready and he used to get really distressed with accidents so we stopped. Pull ups worked for us in those 4 months because we carried on reminding him about using the potty, encouraging him and talking through accidents. Then when we thought he was ready, we went Cold Turkey with pants (but pullups at night).

RE night time training, if their nappies are dry in the morning then go for it. We insist DS1 goes to the toilet before bed time and he seemed to wake up by himself if he needed to go sometime after his 3rd birthday. Then we encouraged him to actually go to the toilet by himself rather than shouting "mummy I need the toilet" loudly from his bed.

Incidentally, he had no problems with pulling Pampers Easyups up and down by himself.

Enough waffle!

floops - We had several stops and starts with DS and eventually went for it just before he turned 3. He cracked the daytimes in a week ( I think there is a lot to be said for leaving it "late". His nappies were never dry in teh morning but I suspected that was were he was weeing when he got up. We gave it a go one night without and he wet the bed. So next night back in nappy but dry in the morning. I decided it would just take a while to crack it and net night no nappy. After that he's been completley dry at night with very few accidents (usually associated with late night drinking sessions).

With DD I decided to learn from this. She potty trained just after she turned 2, wanting to copy DS. Again she got it is little more than a week and as soon as she solved daytime we tackled nights. First night there was an accident but nothing since then. I think they just need to get used to the feel of it.

I would saygive it a go and expect a few accidents, its part of learning but if the accidents continue then they are propbably not quite ready.

bunny2 - the most important key (IMO) to successful potty training is not to get stressed about it. I hope you don't mind me saying so, but your post sounded like you're pretty stressed about several things at the moment. I would honestly say leave it a while until things settle down move-wise and work-wise. If he really is ready, you'll know. If not, wait until the springtime - it's so much easier when it's a bit warmer, they have fewer layers of clothing to manage, and laundry is simpler! Why not book off a week's holiday at Easter, and plan to be at home. The first few days they really do need a lot of attention, support, and positive praise and encouragement