Potty training - how do you leave the house??!

[Janus]

My daughter has really got in to using her potty after about a week ago I said she could have some chocolate if she went wees in the potty. I didn't think she'd actually go as the potty has been kicking around for about 6 months but it has all seemed to click.
Anyway, she goes about every 10 minutes at home (isn't getting chocolate any more!!) and is so proud of herself. BUT if I leave the house I've been using nappies as she just sort of forgets about her potty if we're in the park/shopping, etc and happily wets herself!
Today I really tried, went supermarket shopping with her just in knickers and left my trolley in the aisle 3 times when she insisted she wanted to sit on her potty. I had one of those tommee tippee travel ones and she sat on it each time and nothing. She then wet herself on the way back to the car!
When at home she is generally either naked or just has knickers on. I'm guessing I probably need to keep her in full clothes and make her tell me when she needs the loo so she gets the idea of having to ask and then us being prepared.
How long does the weeing every 10 minutes last, ie do they learn to control their bladder a bit more? What do/did you use when you were out of the house, perhaps she doesn't like the portable potty? Do u wipe at this stage or wait until they are going less frequently?
It's quite difficult this isn't it!
PS My daughter is 2 and 3 months.
Big thanks.

I've been thinking about potty training too recently.....but everyone says to look out for the signs and my ds is showing NO INTEREST what so ever...i'm worrying as he is now 2yrs & 8 months....i've had a pretty traumatic year on a personal level and the recent months have been really bad so I probably wasn't up to the task myself. I do sit him on the potty occassionally and most of the time he just uses it as a chair to things by his own choice. He's a very 'busy' child always wanting to DO things and flips from one thing to another & so i think he lacks concentration to the task in hand. I haven't even attempted to remove the nappies for long periods of time as i truly believe he just wouldn't tell me when he needed to go and i'm dreading the accidents with a newborn about as well....maybe i'm making excuses for my own nerves & stress levels but basically i'm asking...do you fellow mumsnetters think his ready to try...my mind is still reeling from my own personal problems that i might be missing the signs??

Dixie, and all you potty trainers, I've only just looked at this thread again but I would say please be reassured by the fact that I left it til ds was more or less 3 and could understand and was interested.

We cracked it in a week and I'm glad I didn't try earlier - I don't think he would have got it. He was also big for his age so I did get funny looks sometimes when people realised he was still in nappies as they assumed he was older (or maye they didn't?). My advice is leave it until they show an interest and then it'll be sooo much quicker.

Also, when you go out, plot where loos are on the way - I did anyway and knew where I was going to dash to if I needed to. I also used to be completely shameless about asking staff in shops if we could use their staff loo, telling them it was an emergency (it was!) as we were potty training and it was either that or a wee on their floor. No-one ever refused (this was in London). Good luck everyone.

So dixie, I'd say leave it a while, it won't hurt at all IMO.

And floops, (now I've read a bit further down!) I did day first and tackled night time MUCH later, can't remember when, but was a while between the two. Crack one at a time I reckon.

I agree with www. I left ds no.3 till he was just over 3yrs and he was dry in a week with no fuss. Don't give yourself any unnecessary hassle Dixie.

Dixie, you could talk to DS about it, tell him what it's all about etc etc and see if he understands and starts recognising when he needs to go. Before actually training DS I used to offer him the potty, tell him what it was for and I always emptied poo-ey nappies into the toilet with him so he saw where they were meant to go.

This will at least start him thinking about it but I agree: don't force it until you think he's ready. It just causes stress for the Trainer and distress for the Trainee. When we got angry with DS1 on our first attempt, I really don't think he knew what he'd done wrong - well, I think he knew what it was he'd done but not how he could have stopped it.

In some ways, nappies are more convenient (like on the M25 between services...)

This thread is so reassuring. DS was 2 on 26th Sept and my whole family are on my case to PT him. We have attempted a few days without nappies at home but he just wees everywhere, we didn't have a single jackpot in the potty. My Mum is convinced that my eldest sister was dry day and night at 12 months but I think she must be getting some form of dementia!! In my heart of hearts, I know DS isn't ready yet and it's great to hear that some of you guys didn't succeed in the PT department until almost 3.

In your mums day babies were dry at a year sometimes because mothers were good at recognising the signs and 'caught' everything in the potty - the child was too yound to be trained. The guru Truby King recommended putting the baby to the pot from the first few weeks to train them to poo in it. My mother told me she used to B/F me with a potty under me so didn't get dirty nappies. What a carry-on

just wanted to echo soupdragons comment that in many ways nappies are more convenient. Before you start PT you imagine how wonderful it would be to be nappy free, and yes it certainly is - eventually. But there is a long period of time when they are PT but you still don't get much notice, like of car journeys, in the queue at the bank, just abou anywhere inconvenient. You spend an awful ot of time on false alarms and it takes more effort than just changing a nappy believe me.

If DD/DS is not quite ready then it will be a much more drawn out process as well. The longer you leave it, generally the quicker they grasp it. I know some countries beleive in leaving it much later than we do, I think in the UK we are always in a rush about these things and there is no need.

Don't let anyone pressure you into trying before you are ready and if you do try and it seems to hard then don't be afraid to leave it a bit longer. We waited till DS was nearly 3 and then it was so easy. We'd dabbled several times before but I couldn't be bothered with all the mopping! DD got the hang of it much sooner from watching DS but I wouldn't have minded if she'd left it longer, in fact it might have been easier.

Another tip is try to encourage poos in the toilet from the start. Beleive me cleaning out a pooey potty gets as yucky as the worst nappy

dcolagirl, my ds turned two in September and I too have had the odd comment but I just tell them when I think he is ready we will start, I am not going to make an issue of it and stress us both out. Saying that he does know when he is either weeing or pooing in his nappy and he ran into me the other evening happily telling me he had just done a wee all over the floor. So in a way we are already on our way, now its just getting him to use his potty for these things and it isnt just for standing in.

I think my children must be the exception to the rule as my two boys were trained at just over two yrs of age and were clean and dry within a week or ten days. I left it later, as is the fashion, with my girls, until they were nearer three and had awful battles especially with poos. Because they were nearer three they seemed to be much more wilful by then and also much harder to get dry at night. I was very disappointed because everyone said girls were so much eaier to train than boys!! The only other difference I can think of is that the boys were in terry nappies and the girls in disposables.

A colleague of mine has suggested that because disposables are so 'dry', even when they have weed in them, it takes kids longer to grasp the concept of being wet (if that makes sense!). DS lets me know as soon as he has pooed and he HATES being in the nappy, he wriggles and dances about until he is changed. He will sit on the potty and watch TV but doesn't seem to know he needs to wee until it's halfway down his leg yet! He is interested in adults (ie dh and me) having a wee so hopefully the idea will get through eventually. DD is only 9 months and 2 in nappies is damned expensive!

I too would suggest leaving boys especially until they are at least 2.5 if not nearly 3 unless they show a great deal of motivation (our nephew was dry night and day at 2 but they have had broken nights since). We trained ds at 2.7yrs (day) ready for nursery school but have had relapses and didn't even bother thinking about night time until as he approached his 4th bday he decided he was a big boy and has barely had an accident since.

This training at 2 thing seems to be singularly British (as I have discovered are many other practices )and it seems to be left much later on the continent.

LizS

My daughter was 2 yrs 9 mths before I dared try toilet training, & then I did it because her nusery nurses kept urging me to try it (I was nervous of commuting with her without a nappy on!). In the end I trusted their judgement that the time was right - she had 2 days of accidents, we got through 12 pairs of knickers in those 2 days (I remember exactly) & I thought oh no she's just not ready, then on Day 3 - Bingo! No accidents & none after that! So in my (admittedly limited!) experience - if they're ready they'll get the hang of it in 2 days, if they're not try again in a while.

Thanks everyone, after repeated accidents I've decided to go back to nappies for about a month and then try again. The thing is if I keep the potties around she wants to use it, should I continue to let her use it when at home or hide it away and bring it all back out in a month? It was the going out that was so difficult she just was so wrapped up in the park, etc, she happily wet herself so I think she's not quite ready. Confused now!

If she asks, let her use it. We didn't go completely back to nappies when we "paused" in DS1s training. We found pull ups good for this interim bit as they could be pulled up and down if he remembered to ask for the toilet. Use pull ups or nappies but continue to gently remind your DD every so often about the potty so she doesn't forget what she's learnt already.

What a relief! there was me thinking everyone else had perfect potty trained toddlers. I have had a friend staying with me this week and her 3.5 y/o rang here to report his first poo in the potty! Now I know I am not alone in having a 2.5 y/o still in nappies, I shall wait for some signs from ds before trying pt in earnest.

Janus - my daughter's 2 & 9 months, and she only went out of nappies a few weeks ago. I just hadn't got round to it before then. (I work full-time, and didn't want to spend all weekend in the house). But there were no stresses that I think we might have had if we'd done it earlier. I refused to sit her on the potty for ages, or ask her if she wanted to go on the potty more than about once an hour, as I felt that defeated the object i.e. her knowing when she needed to go. We just put her in pants, then we had one disastrous day, with as many failures as successes, and from then on she's had almost no accidents. The other good thing about training later is that she can make herself go to the loo before you go out, and when she does want to go, it's not absolutely urgent. At the moment we take a change of clothes when we go out, but it's not been needed yet. Hope this helps.

Thank you, it does help, I think it reassures me that leaving it for a month or two does not mean that she's 'late' in being trained. All I really want to do is have her trained by 2 years and 9 months as that is when the next one is due!! Thanks again everyone.

Hello everyone - I'm new to this but would like to say that I agree with WWW! I left my DS until he was nearly 3 mainly because I was dreading it!! and also because I had my DS2 when DS1 was 2 and a half. One day, when a friend told me her (younger than mine) son was potty training I thought 'right, that's it' and had a chat with him. I told him it was time he stopped wearing nappies and went to the toilet like Mummy and Daddy. I knew he knew when he needed a wee as his nappy was usually either bone dry or almost leaking after a big wee. Within a week he was dry both day and night and we've only had a few accidents mainly when he is playing and doesn't want to break off to go to the loo.

What I am trying to say is that I think that if you can get the time right it all just falls into place for everyone concerned with minimum stress. I had no qualms about having an almost 3 year old in nappies - they are a lot easier to sort out than soiled clothes after all and life is too short to worry about what others think and when children SHOULD be reaching so called milestones. they get there when they are ready! Good luck anyway!

My DS is 25 months. He will easily wee in the potty for me, will even demand a wee when we take his nappy off, to the point of almost having a tantrum if we dont let him use the potty, but if I let him without nappies for more than 10 mins he begins to wee on the floor, even if I have asked him if he needs a wee on the potty.He also refuses to wear pants,( even Bob the Builder ones !!), he takes then off and trys to put them on again, only we have two legs in one leg hole..and has a fit if I try to put them on right ( anyone else had this problem?)
I have also just started the controlled crying thing from New toddler taming over the last 3 days. Is it the right time to train him, or should I wait a while? I was going to do it next week but Is there, as I feel there is, to much going on in his life at present?
Help....!!!!

MummytoJosh, I think my feeling would be to attack one problem at a time - sort the controlled crying first (because sleep affects everyone more than a few wet nappies ), then worry about the potty training. We left my ds to his own devices - I had my 2nd baby when he was 25 months, then at 2 yrs 5 months he was scheduled for a minor op. We decided not to even try before that. At 2yrs 6 months he got up one Sunday morning, announced he didn't wear nappies any more, and that was that. We took him out of nighttime nappies a week later and he's never looked back. So if you leave it a bit you may even be as lucky as I was!