Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

*the* competitive thread

53 replies

SenoraPostrophe · 21/11/2007 21:30

dd...is a one-girl card factory. I will never buy one again.

ds1...is the most paternal 3 yr old boy ever, looking after ds2 wherever he goes.

ds2...is ds2.

there. I've said it.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
onebatmother · 22/11/2007 14:37

DS has Most Glazed Eyes etc

Threadworm · 22/11/2007 14:48

Okay, here's one that might be a little contentious:

DS2 is the most adorable eight-year-old boy in the universe. He has the largest, most shining eyes, the pearliest teeth, the laughingest mouth, the loveliest kisses, etc, etc, on-and-on, no returns.

minouminou · 22/11/2007 15:12

DS is the world's greatest in the "hide mummy's contact lens case in the most obscure place ever so that she has to grope around blindly for half an hour before being able to get any work done" contest.

casbie · 22/11/2007 15:15

thought DD was going to be a marine biologist (has been able to say f*ssssssssh since she was one), until mummy showed her a piccie of a shark...

with it's mouth open!

bad mummy, bad mummy!

StealthPolarBear · 22/11/2007 15:21

ds is currently going for the world record on how long a baby can go without sleep
we're all very proud and hope to be mentioned in his award speech

Dinosaur · 22/11/2007 15:27

DS2 can exude record amounts of snot with a single sneeze. Unreal.

And DS1 can read for hours at a time. On the loo.

DaDaDa · 22/11/2007 15:32

And DS1 can read for hours at a time. On the loo.

Attaboy!

ksld · 22/11/2007 15:45

DS1 can make 'uh uh uh' noise when feeling ill for Olmpic record breaking time (hours and hours).

DS2 can leave silver snot trails on every item of clothing and furniture in the house.

StealthPolarBear · 22/11/2007 16:04

Oh he's lost
Has currently been asleep for 18 minutes
That should keep him going for another 36 hours or so

beowulf · 22/11/2007 17:29

I forgot DS1's radar for home-cooked food: the more elaborate and time consuming the preparation, the greater the smearing, throwing and tantrums. (So from this afternoon on he's having bl*dy Fimbles bldy pasta out of a bl*dy tin with vegan hot dog sausages and I'm going to say la la la la hands over ears I don't care )

Acinonyx · 22/11/2007 17:49

DD, 2.4, has a true gift for remembering any container, however briefly glimpsed or referred to, that has ever contained chocolate (or cake of any sort).

She can also answer 'no,no,no,' without hesitation but with much repetition to all suggestions, comands, proposals, negotiations, pleadings and hints for whole days at a time showing tremendous strength of character by refusing even things I know she really wants. She will go far.

filthymindedvixen · 22/11/2007 18:35

ds1 has x-ray-vision.

He can see through layers and layers of bags to the santa claus stuff carefully hidden underneath apples and loo-roll and socks...

Every fecking time it's ''woo-hoo - mumma's bought some lego/chocolate coins/felt pens''

HOW?

Kathyis6incheshigh · 22/11/2007 18:46

Hey Dinosaur, my dd is a pretty impressive snotifier.
I am imagining a contest between our dcs, with snot production carefully measured in syringes and photos uploaded to Mumsnet for evidence.

Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 22/11/2007 20:35

kathy, I don't think your dd could possibly be snotty enough if you could get it all in a syringe

OP posts:
Original poster
SenoraPostrophe · 22/11/2007 20:36

[I like the way everyone has ignored threadworm's post in favour of the really important stuff]

OP posts:
Threadworm · 23/11/2007 06:45

Ooh, goody! My DS2 is the undisputed most adorable eight-year-old in the universe!

Dinosaur · 23/11/2007 09:57

Sounds good, Kathy. Your place or mine?

Dinosaur · 23/11/2007 09:58

Obviously colour (the greener the better) and consistency will also be important in the judging, not just overall quantity.

Threadworm · 23/11/2007 10:02

Distributive capacity ought also to be taken into account: snot well-smeared scoring more points than snot kept daintily on upper lip.

Dinosaur · 23/11/2007 10:03

Although snot-trapping equipment will need to be deployed too as DS2 is capable of spraying his at high velocity over a wide range (frequently the breakfast table, much to DS1's disgust, and who can blame him, lol).

mustsleep · 23/11/2007 10:15

ds has the best imagination he always has a brilliant excuse as to why he couldn;t brush his teeth

dd is so good at organising everyone and everything to excactly how she want it - she is also the snottiest child in the world and can on a night actually get most of her hair to stick to her face!!

hazeyjane · 23/11/2007 11:09

snotwise, surely adhesive qualities are the most important. Dd1 has managed to combine a 'special recipe' of snot, biscuit and dust bunny (they live under the sofa) to make a glue that could hold a house together. The only thing that is capable of dissolving this powerful glue, is of course mum-spit

LilRedWG · 23/11/2007 11:14

QuintessentialShadow - My DD could beat your DS down the stairs any day!

(Throws down gauntlet and runs away)

LilRedWG · 23/11/2007 11:15

I do like this thread

Threadworm · 23/11/2007 11:16

Tee hee.
But my ds2, already the undisputed most adorable eight-year-old in the universe, can shoot out a high-velocity Rice Krispie from his nostril.

And he can display the most Hurt Innocence when I ask him pointedly how it got there. ('I must have just got my face too close to the bowl, Mum.')