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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I cant take getting up in the night any more! PLEASEHELP!!!

38 replies

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:08

I have a well behaved happy little girl who is 16 months and during the day she is happy as can be. She has a nap which lasts between 1 or 2 hours and she goes to bed promtly at 8 and is fine until.... hmmm around 1 and then 3 and the 5.30 etc. There is no particular pattern to these hours but she does wake up around 3 times. All she wants when she wakes up is a milk bottle - not water or juice just her milk. It is becoming a real problem as i am shattered ( i work 8-12 hour days) and the other half thinks we should just leave her to scream. its not that i havent got the will power to leave her i just always worry that she is ill or has trapped a leg in the bars of the cot etc. Please can any one help me with ideas of how i can get her to sleep thru the night??? Also could some one please explain the code system you all use like DH AND DS1 etc. Thank you !!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LadyOfWaffle · 07/11/2007 17:10

I might get jumped on, but some porridge last thing at night? Just to keep the hunger at bay. Or is she thirsty? Is your heating on?

cestlavie · 07/11/2007 17:10

Have you tried steadily watering down her milk with water over a period of a couple of weeks? We did that with our son (now 22 months) and it took a while but it seemed to work... Eventually it gets to the point where it's just basically water.

dooley1 · 07/11/2007 17:10

dh - dear husband
dd/ds - dear son/daughter

I would just go in to her when she cries and give her a cuddle and put her back down, no milk at all
It will take a bit of tough love and endless going in and cuddling to begin with (maybe you and partner can take it in turns?) but it will work

You could try dropping daytime sleep too and bringing bedtime to 6.30pm - 7pm

LadyOfWaffle · 07/11/2007 17:10

Oh, DH is dear husband, DS dear son, DD dear daughter.

Elfsmummy · 07/11/2007 17:15

Do you think she could be genuinely hungry? If she's having 3 bottles of milk a night she's probably taking the edge off her hunger in the daytime - and not eating as much - causing a cycle of nightime hunger????

How much does she typically eat/drink during the day?

You may have to water down her night feeds to encourage her to up her daytime intake

Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:23

Thank you for the replies. I have tried porridge at night - makes no difference. I have even tried thinking up her last bottle but she tried it and looked at me as if to say - urrgghh i dont think so. The other thing is she kicks any bedcovers she has on a night - i think i will have to get her in one of those sleep bag things!

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Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:25

Sorry - thickening up her bottle...

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haychee · 07/11/2007 17:26

Can you leave a bottle in the cot?

If she wakes show her where it is, and leave her to it.

haychee · 07/11/2007 17:27

Gro bags are great.

But awkward if child is mobile, standing up in cat etc.

Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:27

Haychee I have been doing that for sometime and most nights she finds it but she has it so quicky i am soon up again. I dont think it is a hunger thing i think it is comfort.

OP posts:

Lulumama · 07/11/2007 17:29

at this age, i don;t think the waking is neccesarily from hunger, maybe from habit

thickening her bottle is not a good idea

does she eat much in the day?

ahve you offered her a dummy instead of milk?

you could try gradually watering down her milk or reducing the amount you give her

haychee · 07/11/2007 17:32

my dd2 still has milk at night (cows) she is 4. Simply because she prefers it to water.

I give it in one of those non spill cups, which you have to suck really hard to get anything out. Worth trying a new cup during the day at first? Then giving night milk in new cup, which can hold alot of fluid and will last longer.

Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:36

She does eat well during the day - i agree i think it is habit but i need it to stop, honestly i find myself being a complete cow at night at the moment - not so much with her but with dh, he gets it for not getting up! Im not nice at the mo!

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Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:37

Oh and she wont have a dummy - never has even thou i tried!

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haychee · 07/11/2007 17:39

Make him pay!!!

My dp is useless too. Used to say he couldnt hear them - like as if!

I used to be very short with dc too especially during the night. I think that put them off trying to wake me as they knew they wouldnt get much loving if they did.

CoteDAzur · 07/11/2007 17:43

Steph - It is a miracle you have lasted this long! Now you have to stop the nighttime bottles. Go cold turkey. When she wakes up in the night, tell her milk is in the morning & nighttime is for sleeping. Give her a hug, put her back in bed. If she goes on crying, go back in after a few minutes, say the same things, give the same hug, and out you go.

You will have 2-3 difficult nights, but she will sleep through the night after that.

She is waking up because she has a HABIT of eating (feeding) several times in the night, and you have to break that habit. The only way to do that is to stop feeding her at night. [Try eating at 3 AM every night for a week and going back to bed. I guarantee that you will then wake up at the same time with a growling stomach.]

Good luck!

Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:44

ha - the other night i heard the familiar cry down the baby monitor and i was so tired i just growled at dh and said you sort it. I must have been affective as i have never seen him move so quickly at night before! think he prefered in a room with a screaming baby rather than be in a room with me!

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Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:47

Thanks CoteDAzure! )

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Original poster

steph101 · 07/11/2007 17:50

Am logging out now guys - thanks for all the help x

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charlie33 · 07/11/2007 17:51

If you don't like to leave her to cry I used a fab book called the no cry sleep solutioon - Elizabeth Pantley. Takes longer than the crying methods but is definatley worth it. If she is hungery then should be eating more in the day, you must be exhausted, I think to have put up with it for this long you should be elavated to saint status.

Judy1234 · 07/11/2007 18:08

I don't think any of our five ever slept very well. I definitely found the more children I had the better they slept however and that was more about establishing routines and patterns. What we did was I got up until they stopped breastfeeding or needing to in the night - about a year and instead their father did every night disturbance once they were a year old and I did all the ones before that so they saw their father not their mother in the night and couldn't be tugging up my top for milk or smell it on me and also we knew whose job it was - his because they were a year old or whatever. Obviously you leave them to cry for a bit at first too. I always used ear plugs too but that was more because of their father's snoring and the fact he was doing the night wakings of the children not me once they were that age. IN other words delegate it to her father and then it's his problem not yours.

wildfish · 09/11/2007 12:03

Had the same problem. But the way we weaned ds off, was a cold stop. It was painful for the first week, but then he just accepted it - mostly . I don't advocate letting them cry, we did it by comfort, but no milk. Since DS hated powdered milk he was offered that, but he refused. In the end comfort, but no milk.

EachPeachPearMum · 09/11/2007 13:14

I'm amazed you need the baby monitor! You must live in a mansion LOL
Seriously though, cut out the feeds- she's old enough not to need them now. And go with a sleeping bag- really made a huge difference to the way my dd slept- from 3 wakings a night, to none! Couldn't believe it at first

PatsyCline · 09/11/2007 13:27

If you think she may be waking because she is cold then I would highly recommend fleecy overpyjamas. My DD1 loved the sleeping bags but DD2 won't be doing with them and the overPJs are the perfect solution - my mum got ours from Matalan I believe and they are really cosy.

Good luck with it all.

Patsy

mummymagic · 09/11/2007 13:28

Just want to say, people are full of wonderful advice and do try what you can but
IT MAY NOT WORK - sorry Cote etc.

I do think my dd is hungry at night (to be fair, so am I when I wake up at 3am - nothing to do with how much food you have before bed) but if I give her milk then (which I don't actually have problem with), she gets into a habit and wakes at 11, 1, 3, 5!!

So she doesn't get milk at night, hasn't done for a good few months but can have water in a bottle instead (took a bit of being firm). Am consistent and firm, she doesn't want to play, loves her bed and sleep.

But she still doesn't sleep through

Her latest is 11ish (occasionally for a cuddle) and 3 - awake for an hour and a half last night, tossing and turning .

But she is a gorgeous little dream of a girl, so am just living with the wakings (want them to go back to brief ones though)

Hmm, and we don't live in a mansion but we do need the monitor (annoyingly) as the way our rooms are laid out, I don't hear her until she is screaming... Not really my bag.

Come and join the SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK thread - loads of support there...

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