16 month old, development delay/ autism?

[Freddiesmum19]

Hi everyone

I am growing more and more concerned about my 16 month DS.
I know he is still young but after reading up on google (I know, I should stay away!) I am afraid it might be autism.
Here is why;
What he doesn’t do at 16 months;
-Doesn’t talk, no words at all, only ga ga ger go. Used to say da da (not relating to DP) but this stopped about 3 months ago.
-Doesn’t respond to his name very often. He does if he’s doing something he knows he shouldn’t, otherwise I would say 2/10 times.

• doesn’t understand a great deal, can’t go and bring me a ball for a example or give something to mummy. He does understand

No or come to mummy. (Only just)

• doesn’t bring things to me to

Show me, although he has only just started walking in the last few weeks.)

• doesn’t wave or point, (were not really a family of pointers but I have started doing it more recently in hope he’ll

Catch on)

• doesn’t show empathy but think he might be too young for this?

What he does do at 16 months;

• walk (only in the last few weeks tho. Was also a late crawler at 11 months)
• does give good eye contact most of

The time especially from a distance

• does smile back at me
• does interact loves being chased, peekaboo, loves when I sing to him
• he squints at certain lights
• clap but usually

On his terms

• plays with toys, does occasionally spin wheels on cars but not obsessive
• come over to you but also more

Than happy To play alone

• does follow my point when I point to something and say “look”
• sometimes licks tiles, glass, wood

• lift his arms up to

Be picked up

• sometimes puts toys behind his back

I would really appreciate your thoughts, I am
On google and YouTube all
Hours of the day self diagnosing him and I’m going mad. HV coming on Friday. Please done sugarcoat it for me!!

Thanks in advance xxx

Forgot
To add he also kicks his legs really
Fast when he’s exited or
Happy. (Lying down) xx

Hi @Freddiesmum19, I don't know how helpful this is but your son sounds identical to my son at 16 months and you sound just like me :). I've spent hours and hours on Google and YouTube self diagnosing too.

We have autism in both my family and my husband's so it's something I've always been mindful of.

My son is now 19 months.

Like your son he only started crawling at 11 month and walking at 16 months. He was also on the late side with other milestones such as sitting and rolling but still within normal range.

At 16 months exactly was when he started pointing to show and to request and though he still doesn't point as much as other children he is doing it more and more. It was also at 16 months when he started showing me things more. He now does lots of social referencing and joint attention even though he doesn't point lots, he does it in other ways eg with eye contact.

He has waved for a long time but I didn't think it was very purposeful. Now he is waving more in the right context and making a noise like 'bye bye'

Like your son he plays with lots of toys in the intended way (he's good at puzzles, stacking rings, blocks, shape sorters) but does a bit of spinning of wheels (occassionally) but also plays with cars functionally. But now does pretend play too. Not lots and lots but a little bit most days. Tea parties, sweeps with a broom, pretend on a phone.

At 16 months he understood about the same as your son. Now at 19 months he understands more but it is more routine things and simple instructions like 'throw in the bin' and 'bathtime' he still doesn't know body parts or names of animals etc. He is good at understanding the function of things in general - brushing his teeth and hair, putting keys in the door, turning pages in books.

I know for sure my son is a behind other babies his age but he has also come along a fair bit from where he was at 16 months. I hope your little man does too!

However, like your son he is still not really talking. Says mamma and daddda but it's babble and not purposeful. He say few things that sound like words (teeth, cheese, more, ball) but I can't be certain they are.

My pediatrician said he's fine and he'll get there in his own time. I wasn't happy with that so I saw a private speech therapist and she had no worries about my son. That isn't to say he's definitely neurotypical but at the moment the professionals don't see a need for intervention so my worry is a little needless and I should relax and enjoy him more.

We're mamas though and we can't help but worry, I also feel quite alone not being able to see other people and because my husband thinks my worries are all silly. I just want you to know you're not alone :)

Thanks for your message! That’s given me hope! 🙏 did your son do / not do most of the other things I said? What about answering to his name? That is the scary one for me.....
it’s so hard to not worry, and I know I can’t change it so I shouldn’t be wasting his baby days assessing him but just enjoying him
But it’s so hard!!! I get mum guilt about that all the time! Xxx

Hi @Freddiesmum19, I hope you're ok. My son isn't great at responding to his name when I call him. However, when anyone else calls him, his response is really good. Have you tried this?

Of the other things you said.. I agree they're too young to show empathy. We go to a support group locally which is one of the only times we see toddlers his age. If another child cries or looks upset, my son doesn't show empathy but none of the other children do either.

Like your son he has good eye contact and smiles back. I've read quality of eye contact is more important, so showing joint attention etc (though I'm no expert just an excess Googler!). He also copies other facial expressions and will imitate us liking banging a drum or stirring a pot. He will blow kisses, cheers and high five on request. Though from memory he wasn't doing that at 16 months.

He doesn't squint at light, do you think that shows a possible sensory issue?

Like your son he will come over to me, if I start playing with a toy he will interact and play with it with me. He's interested in other children, loves his cousins.

But like your son he is very good at independent play and will play for ages on his own. My friends tell me I'm lucky for this but I was worried it was a sign of something.
My son also follows a point and will look up if I say 'look'.

He doesn't lick things. He still very occasionally mouthes toys but the speech therapist told me this was age appropriate and she would only be worried if he was mouthing everything.

He lifts his arms to be picked up and also comes running the door when my husband comes home. He's very cuddly, smiley and affectionate.

He doesn't kick his legs when excited but he does very occasionally walk on his tip toes. 90 percent of the time he walks flat footed.

He gets very upset about having his hair washed and teeth brushed. He is scared of the hoover and the hairdryer. These are things I worry about but equally I know they are normal toddler behaviour.

My major worry was his poor receptive language skills and then all the other things just added fuel to the worry. But now his receptive language is improving so I feel better.

I know what you mean, but when I saw the speech therapist she seemed more worried about me and my anxiety levels than my son's lack of speech.

I followed a few speech therapy account on Instagram. My favourite is Speech Sisters and I bought the book It Takes Two to Talk from the Hanen Centre. The book is highly recommended on MumsNet and the speech therapist recommended it to me too. There are some great tips in there!

It's very hard as being in lockdown is such an intense situation and I can't help over analysing. As I said, feeling very alone.

I know this is probably not exactly what you want to her but stop asking Dr. Google. Kids are all different and their development has a broad time spectrum. Some are the perfet babies and hit their milestones at exactly the average point but most are not like that. It's like growth charts. There's essentially a normal distribution. Walking for example is anything from 8 months or so to 18 months. This is a huge time frame for such a small human.
I didn't speak a word till I was 2 and now I am speaking 3 languages fluently and have a few university degrees.

Give your baby time and enjoy him!
Also... I squint when someone shines light into my eyes....

Also, you have seen professionals about him and they are not concerned... Try to trust them. They know what they are doing. It's their job.

I went berserk on Dr. Google necause my daughter has a small head. She had an MRI and a CTb and is fine. Her development is fine. Everyone says she is fine. And i catch myself so frequently trsting her... It's sad. She's 13 months. She doesn't speak yet any words, her receptive language is rubbish. She is amazing in her fine motor skills though and is currently focussed on walking, which takes a huge amount of brain power. Her cerebellum is on fire!
I worry a lot... But I try to focus on how happy she is, how cute she is and what she can do!

Sorry for the ramble, and not sure if it was in any way helpful...
Another thought: even is your kid has autism, so what?
I have a few friends who have a diagnosis and you wouldn't even guess. Yes, they have quirks... But average is boring anyway.

Sorry for typos. Using phone.

Hi @Freddiesmum19,
My daughter is diagnosed asd and I think may have been fairly similar to your son around 16 months, however I do think at this age, it could easily be nothing or it could be something.
It’s great that you are seeing a health visitor and if they are able to reassure you then that’s great, if not then you know you are going down the path to get your son the support he needs.
Also my dd (29 Months now) is very sociable and does a lot of things that I read asd children probably wouldn’t do like playing interactive games, shows me her toys, loves holding my hand... anyway just to make the point that asd children don’t have any limit on what they would or wouldn’t do.
Try and trust your instincts instead of Google, if you do continue to worry then try to if you can afford it, to speak to someone privately like a paediatrician who is an expert in toddlers with autism to get some advice. A lot of medical professionals are not experts in autism and only know the basics, so will miss things.
Above all, enjoy your son, either way he will be fine as he has a Mum who is looking out for him.

Hey @HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel I am ok- I hope you are! I totally know what you mean about feeling alone- my partner is great with Freddie but he says he’s fine. You read to much etc. When I know I know Freddie the most. I spend the most time with him, and a women’s instinct is a powerful thing! If you would like to swap
Numbers id like that. It’s comforting to have someone going through the same
Thing and be able
To talk To easily.

No you know what I’ve only ever really tried it with me or his dad. So I’ll try that next time I’m with another human!

Freddie has fab eye contact from a short distance, but if you pick him up and try and get it he will look the other way 99% of the time!?

Freddie has literally given me 3 waves in the last 2 days, which is huge progress to me!!!

Yeah I think the squinting could be a sensory issue. Also he doesn’t mind having things on his hands. Food, paint etc infact he loves it.

Yeah Freddie only occasionally mouths toys but definitely likes to lick/ kiss things which I will mention to the HV when she comes on Friday.

Freddie does the same, crawling over when we come through the door or lifts his arms up to be picked up but only really if you’re about to pick him up. Not as if he’s asking to be picked up if that’s makes sense. I over analyse EVERYTHING

Xxx

Hi @Lil115
Thanks for your message!
Was your daughter diagnosed with mild/ moderate / severe autism?

I know it’s not the end of the world- I just want an independent and happy life for him. What worries me the most is that he’ll
Be non verbal.

Your daughter sounds wonderful ❤️

What age was she diagnosed?
I will see what the HV says. And if I need to pay private salt then I will definitely

Xxx

Hi @Felinewoman

You’re right, normal is boring!!
I just want to be able to intervene Early if he does to get the best possible chance at a happy and I dependant life for him! Thats all’s

You’re right google is a very scary place but also very hard to stay away from.

I have not had my baby seen by the professionals yet I am seeing the health visitor on Friday and waiting for a referral from the paediatrician that my GP has sent off

Xxx

16 months is very early and they can change a lot in a very short time. It is possible your LO was concentrating on walking and now he has mastered that will work more on communication.

You can try doing the MCHAT www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child with him from 16 months although this is at the early side. I would keep an eye on things and do it again with him in a couple of months and if he scores at risk they take it with you to see your doctor. It is good to get on waiting lists for services even if they are not then needed.

@Freddiesmum19 it would be great to swap numbers! I'll send you a message.

I totally empathise with the over analysing! I think not seeing other children doesn't help as we can't see if certain behaviours are typical or not.

Keep in touch and let us know how it goes with the health visitor.

Hi @Freddiesmum19

They don’t give levels with an autism diagnosis in the UK anymore and when I asked the paediatrician she said it would be very hard to tell at such a young age. My dd was diagnosed a couple of months ago, we did it all privately in the end due to my health visitor refusing to make a referral to the paediatrician for ages, we just weren’t getting anywhere.
There’s some great Instagram accounts on speech and/or autism. I follow a lady called @mrsspeechiep - in her saved highlights there’s a lot of information on what behaviours may be considered typical of not typical.
Also, your son still has plenty of time to learn to talk, my daughters language has come on a bit now, she is using a lot of requesting words and even said ‘yes please’ today which is a big step for her. Just want you to know that there is time. Also, some children are non-verbal but communicate really well using other methods if this was the case - but it’s very early to consider that.
Hopefully your HV will be helpful, but if she isn’t and you continue to worry then private SALT and/or paediatrician can be very helpful. You don’t need a diagnosis in the UK to get services but I have noticed that they often want to wait and see how a child progresses before giving them any help. Even just a private speech assessment can give you a load of strategies to try at home.
Also you can Google Portage and see if they have that in your area - they unfortunately don’t have it in mine but I hear they can be really helpful in the early years. I believe you can self-refer.
Good luck with everything xx

Hi @Freddiesmum19
How is your ds now?
Mine.is 16 months old in about a week & I too am wondering about Autism, he very rarley responds to his name either,.
He doesn't point.
Doesn't wave.
Has only just just started holding 1 arm up when you go to pick him up.
Doesn't follow my point very well I wasn't worried until I started reading about ASD. He is very sociable & communicates well with eye contact
He copy's a lot of what I do he can clap he can play peekaboo he can hi 5 but when I wave he really doesn't copy me sometimes we get a few little wags of the arm. I never realised pointing was such a big thing , I have been trying to teach him 'nose ' an occasionally he will touch with a point to his dad's or my nose.
He says dada doggy & ta but usually with a but if encouragement.
A few months have passed since your post * wondering how your getting on.

@Freddiesmum19 how is ur baby dear?

@Chocqueen99 hou ur baby now?

@Freddiesmum19 Hiya, have you had any updates. What you've written pretty much describes my little boy word for word.

Hi everyone

sorry for the delayed response

my DS will be 3 in October. And oh my goodness. I cannot believe the difference the last year has made.

He has SO many words now and is starting to peice together sentences. His eye contact is now great, he always responds to his name. He points! He’s really sociable, confident. Nursery has made the world of difference.

I actually now don’t think he is autistic.

I hope this helps some of you

freddies mum xx

He also understand a great deal, and is starting to understand his emotions. For example he will come out of nursery and say, mummy, Jacob hurt me- freddie sad. Freddie not happy. 🥹 (him and all the boys at nursery wrestle pretty much all day lol) he also has the most amazing memory.

@Freddiesmum19 Thanks for the update. When/how did he start pointing? My little boy is 16 months and does/doesn't do the same things that you mentioned. We are really worried about him as all we can think about is autism. You mentioned that he didn't understand instruction from you (same as my boy). How and when did this change? Just really hoping that my little boy will follow suit x

It’s hard to say exactly when, but I would say he started to understand a lot more after he turned 2. He started pointing at about 19 months I think. Honestly, I was so so worried and now I look back and think I was silly- he will do it in his own time. Freddie is still behind in his speech. But he’ll get there. I’m confident about that

@Freddiesmum19 I really hope that the same will happen for my little boy. I've been so worried about him over the last couple of months. Another trait that he has is that he's obsessed with doors and cupboards (constantly opening and closing) and he LOVES to climb. I'm really happy for you and your little boy x

Freddie went through a phase of being obsessed with doors too! But it passed! I wish you and your little boy all the best xxxx

@Freddiesmum19 Thank you 😊 Sorry, I meant to ask....how affectionate was Freddie at around 16 months? Alex isn't particularly affectionate. He doesn't really come up to us for a cuddle or kiss. On the odd occasion he might come up to me for a loose hug. He doesn't like a tight cuddle. Also he's very independent and when I take him to a playgroup, rather than staying near me, he's off for the full hour xx

Thank you so much for updating the thread with a positive outcome!