Feel like crying all day someone please give me some hope.

[charliemama]

My ds2 is 4 months old. having had an extremely colicky child with my dd I was semi prepared for the 1st 3 months to be tough. I think I got a bit of PND initially, but we struggled through with a few meltdowns at the Dr and HV.

the problem is he got to 12 weeks and things seemed to deteriorate. He sleeps very poorly despite me always ensuring that he settles himself to sleep. But what I am finding even tougher is the days. He is often extremely unsettled and not only wants to be held, but wants me to hold him standing up. Some days I can't seem to put him down anywhere without him immediatley crying. I have 2 other dcs under5 and I worry how this is affecting them.

I love my ds, but bonding is difficult with a child who cries at you constantly.

I am sure he is uncomfortable/in pain. The Dr has put him on Gaviscon for silent reflux and I have taken him to a few sessions with a CO. He had one yesterday so I am clinging to the hope that this is what has unsettled him as it happened after the last session.

I just need some reassurance that things will get better. My other dcs were really tough, but I'm sure by this age sleep and the days had started to become manageable.

Could you manage with a sling for him? My DS did not want to be put down ever, but since he was my first child, I just carried him everywhere. He didn't actually have anything wrong with him but I just think he was one of those babies who needs their mum more than others.

i only have one dc but i had PND with him and took him to CO which really helped him settle and also made me feel like I was helping him.
Also I found baby massage really calmed him down when I'd got to the end of my tether with him - difficult (if not impossible!) with 2 other little dc's but might be something you can do if you have a chance to help you bond if you are finding that difficult and I found it helped the colic/wind at the end of the day (when he was really bad)

the sling idea sounds great, on bad days with ds it was my 'hands free' kit have bought 2 this time round as ds will only be 19mo when baby arrives so I think I'll need it

hope it gets more managable soon, I'm sure you're not alone x

Ds2 has been in a frint carrier on walks, but I don't find it very comfortable. Its doesn't seem to me that he wants to be held. He wants me to stand up with him and walk about.

i struggled with the baby bjorn so this time I've got a baba sling to try - I was thinking that the sling would make him feel secure and upright would help reflux but you could still be free to get on with things...

also do you manage to get out? could you do a toddler group and ask some broody mum to hold him for 15 mins while you have a coffee? We do this often for a friend with ds 19 mon and dd 4 mo when she comes in looking frazzled and baby is crying

i have good friends and mum lives nearby. I think its just getting on top of me today because its starting to feel like it will never end. I remeber thinking 'just get through sept and things will beeasier' and then 'just get through Oct' I now can't imagine when life will be easier.

it really will get easier though - it just seems endless ATM. My dd1 was like this. Her sleep was terrible and she was very colicky but we tried putting her to sleep on her tummy and it worked a dream. CO seemed to help as well, as did using th esling although that isn't always comfprtable or practical.

But it will get better.........promise.

my ds was like this and i too remember how absolutely horrific it felt at the time, i truly can empathise. My ds would only settle if you held him away from your body, on his back in a sort of offering him up position, whilst bouncing him gently - sheer agony on the arms in a few mins i can tell you. But it does get better, i remember that feeling that it would never end, and that i could never imaging my life 'going back to normal' (whatever that is post childbirth!!) but it does, just hang in there kiddo! Sending you {{{{hugs}}}}, and a big virtual bar of choccie and big glass of something nice (whatever's your tipple).

Thankyou donnie. Ds2 has slept on his front since he was 9 weeks. But now he can flip over onto his back!! Grrrrrrr!

Thankyou aswell Cubby. I think today thats what I need to hear. i know most of the usual 'tricks'. I just need a light at the end of the tunnel.

i would have a glass of red wine but that's meant to aggravate reflux!!

He has been asleep since 10.30/11!!! BTW

charliemama, sorry it's so hard for you at the moment. my ds was a bit like this and the only things that saved me were carrying him in a sling and going out a lot. he too liked to by moving in the sling. he didn't like me sitting down for a second. one day it did change and suddenly he was happy to go in his pushchair and play on the floor for a bit. it does pass, it's just sooo hard when you're in the depths of it.

charliemama, if you've got a baby bjorn or similar, they are typically quite uncomfortable, especially for long carries.
try www.thecarryingkind.co.uk for some sling ideas

you could be describing me a year or so ago. I don't know if it's relevant, but as we have a history of bad allergies in the family, I bf exclusively til 6 months and those 6 months were hell, my dc3 wanted to be held all the time, screamed all the time etc. I realised when trying to wean him that he was v allergic to dairy and eggs and although I was making half hearted attempts to eat sensibly when bf, I was not cutting out dairy and egg from my diet and I think in retrospect he was possibly in digestive discomfort. I know this is probably not much help, just that my ds2 is now the most charming 21month old, happy, smiley and quite independent and there IS light at the end of the tunnel. and suddenly my other 2 dcs under 5 are now 6 and 4 and a whole lot easier xxx

I know how you feel....
Some days I want to just not have a baby/ toddler/ preschooler attached to me all the time.... Even with a sling I sometimes want my body back for 10 minutes.
Can't really help other than to say you are not alone with a clingy 3m old, and two older DC's.....
I love all 3 but somedays I just wonder how to get to bedtime with some remnants of sanity left....
Thinking of you..

Anybody recommend a particular sling?

i used the kari me up to about 5 months and then the ergo. a good wrap sling like didymos would take you through to an older age. or a mei tai perhaps?

charliemama, I feel your pain, well done for managing with older children to care for too.

I use a kari-me which is great.

It's in the wash today hence stress!

Hey Charliemama, hope things were a bit better for you today. I think the others have given the only advice I could offer. My experience is ltd to one colicy baby but I also found a sling a godsend. I had a baby bjorn originally but ebayed it when I discovered wraps and others because it was horribly uncomfortable. I have a maya wrap and an ergo. Now my DD is older the ergo is brilliant for back carrys but the wrap was great when she was younger. Wraps take a bit of practice but they're very versatile. Ring sling are meant to be ace and I might get one if I have another! I would suggest you hire one or two, see what you get on with. From memory bigmammaslings hire. Google it.

Thanks for all the support. I want to say more but ds2 screams everytime I sit down!!!!

Hello - I was about to post about my 4 month old, but see you have beaten me to it! My DD2 sounds exactly like yours (have an appointment wiht CO tomorrow!) And my DD1 was the same as well. This time round I am determined to crack it! It is so frustrating when you see all these contented babies everywhere!

The only tips I can share which seem to help is that she can lie on her change mat quite happily for 15 mins or so as long as her nappy is OFF (!) - great, but not very practical in Sainsbury's....

She gets cranky after just over an hour awake, so I try to make sure she has a nap every 1.5 hours (she can now just about manage 5pm - 7pm at the end of the day). It may be that we have the kind of babies that need a lot of sleep and don't switch off easily. I tend to get her off to sleep in the day by pushing ehr round the garden in the pram.

Have tried slings, but she hates all the fuss of getting her in them.

Gotta go, my 15 minute window of her on the mat has run out.

Will keep up with this thread though

That should have said she can now manage 5-7 awake at the end of the day (albeit a bit grumpy).

I should add that she does sleep well at night, so the daytime naps (about 4-5 hours in total between 7am - 7pm don't affect her nighttime sleep.

Hope you have a better day today - i find cake helps a lot

Thankyou justabout. Ds2 is seeing a co at the moment. He isn't cheap, but he is local which is important as I have to be able to take/fetch the other 2 from preschool/school. I will keep your dad on mind though. Took ds2 to the gp again today hoping for some kind of referral, however, just got the 'its probably colic' brush off and a prescription for infacol!!!

I have this sling: Marsupi

(Sorry, can only find pages dfor it in German or Italian) It's like a mei tai but with velcro straps - really quick and simple to put on, very comfortable, guaranteed to send ds2 to sleep!