My 8 year old son went to a large birthday party recently. All his classmates were there. It was held in a playcentre and I happened to stay too, much to my son's joy. I was sitting away from the action reading a Phillip Pullman. I noticed with relief that my son and all the other children played well, no fights or tears and my son certainly wasn't short of friends.
From time to time, he bounded up and gave me a quick hug or sat on my knee. OK sometimes this was cupboard love ie he wanted me to buy him some sweets, but also it was just open affection. His classmates saw what he was doing but none made any comments there and then.
Anyway, in conversation with my dh later I happened to mention this and he waw horrified. He said I must discourage this now my son is 8 or else he will be a laughting stock amongst his classmates. I should tell him to save knee sitting and cuddles for home.
My son is openly affectionate and cuddly, so the party incident is not so unusual. He is also very used to cuddles from both dh and I.
I feel so sad that I might have to repel him when he's showing a little spontaneous and innocent affection. He is not clingy, and socialises easily. Boys, so we are told, can easily have problems showing their feelings and I really don't want to tell him to hide his. I'm sure that as he gets older, the cuddles will dry up anyway
However, I have noticed that most boys my son's age don't sit on their mum's knee in public, so I can see what my husband is getting at. Also he says that the children in his class are not letting him join in their playground games as much this term. This could be a passing phase and unrelated to the party. He has never told me he has been teased for being a mummy's boy. Though would the children say this to his face? Just in case, and for his own good, should I tell my son he might get laughed at if he wants a cuddle when we're out? or not?
Anyway, I thought I'd do a raincheck and ask you what you think.