Is it possible to get a 2year old to listen when you tell them to 'stop' or 'come here', particularly when out and about, but also indoors? If so, how?

[dandycandyjellybean]

Dh is doing his nut because ds will not always come to him when he calls him, or stop when he tells him to, i.e. stop, don't run out the front door or onto the road, etc. (dh is on crutches and so has the disadvantage of not being able to run after him)! I think ds is still a bit young for this concept, although I do admit to struggling when trying to get ds into the car with loads of bags and stuff and just have to put him down for a sec to open the door or whatever, and he runs off. Would love for him to just stand still when asked but feel a bit clueless about how to acheive it...can you help? Ps he is pretty good about most other stuff, put him in a bed a few weeks ago, expecting him to keep getting out, but just explained that he must stay in bed until mummy came to get him in the morning, and he did!! Was very shocked. But no amount of explanation about the dangers of cars, importance of listening/obeying seems to make any difference.

This could have been me for the last 4 years!! DD is just 4 and only now do I finally trust her enough to walk by roads etc. She has just started cycling and scooting (?) to pre-school because only now does she finally stop when I tell her to. Even six months ago, I had to stop by the road as my shoe lace had come undone so I had to let go her hand while I tried to do it up. She kept running off. I kept grabbing her and telling her to stand still which she would not do. In the end I got so frustrated as I HAD to do my shoe lace up but she would NOT stand by me, I had to get really cross with her so she started crying and then stood still.

I feel there was no way I could get her to do this at 2. I felt I tried everything and was really strict and always said, "If you run off, I'll put you in the buggy." She always did run off so I always did put her in the buggy. I did try the fun games approach too but they only worked when she wanted to play the game like that! I just think it's down to your child and if they want to run, they will. Sorry to have no helpful suggestions - just wanted to empathise and say it will get better one day!

What a difficult problem. We are practicsing STOP too (limited success!) but what also helps at this age is having something for them to hang on to. COuld your DH have DS hang onto, or at least hold when told to, one of his legs/crutches, or is this imposs? (Can't quite visualise) Ours hangs happily onto 'Handly' (the handle on the side of the pushchair) & in fact refuses to let it go. Or a toy pushchair to push tho that still has the run-off potential.

My tip: try talking to him about it and telling stories when it is not an issue, i.e. before bed, 'there once was a little by called ...... who went off down the raod to buy some bread. on his way there, he was very careful but still his daddy was worried that he might get hit by a car, so his daddy yelled, 'STOP!' and do you know what?' (cue big eyes) 'He did stop, and his daddy was very proud, and they went to the shop to buy a cake to celebrate.'

Am impressed with Blueberry pancake's approach.

FWIW I use reins most of the time, and give him a choice between buggy/reins, reins/holding hands, hands/being carried - depending on what I have with me. At 7mths preg this more like to be reins/buggy in the coming months.

If your DH needs to use crutches though, I am at a loss what to suggest, although I think BBPancake's approach is really imaginative and will have a go myself.

However, I did want to say that all the groundwork people are doing at 18mths+ is not wasted - even if there are occasions when kids forget their road-safety lessons and run off pavements. (This happened to a child when I was a front seat passenger in a car - the child got away with a few bruises because the driver was doing about 20mph, not the legal 30mph, in a residential area and was not fiddling around with a phone etc... but that is another debate).

I was listening in as DS (22mths) played with a road map and a plastic Iggle Piggle the other day. He said: "Piggle! Naughty Piggle!... Car coming", as he marched said toy across a "road". It was very cute & funny, and really made me realise that from a very young age they are imbibing all the messages we give them. Will definitely stop until the green man appears next time