Super-sensitive DD ... extreme response to being told off ... help

[wishingchair]

Just been to first ever parent evening. DD is doing well academically, has friends, enjoys school etc etc but teacher said she is super super sensitive and gets very upset at being "told off". Wasn't even told off, just told her not to do something. Apparenlty she was hysterical for about half an hour. Teacher said "it was the most extreme response she'd ever seen".

It drives me mad ... if I tell her off for something she will always always cry. She's also a perfectionist so gets frustrated when things don't go right, cross then cries because of that too. I've been trying to teach her to go into another room for a few mins to calm down which she's been doing.

Talked to her tonight about how it is sometimes useful to be told off and eventhough it doesn't feel nice, you can learn from it and used an example of when I got stopped by police for minor driving offence.

But feel I need to teach her some more coping mechanisms or at least get it through to her that it isn't the end of the world if you get told off or something you don't want to happen, happens.

We've been going through a lot this year (DH not well) but tried to keep things as steady as possible for the DCs.

Anyone experienced same? Sorry for long msg!!

Hmmm, both my mother and myself are over-sensitive. We will both still cry if anyone says anything remotely nasty or disapproving to us. We want to be good etc. etc. and supply all the reproof needed ourselves, so anyone else adding in their oar is like a sledgehammer. She always skites that she controlled her children by just a look, which is true, but not, I think, necessarily a good thing.

I think the thing that has helped me over the years is having lots of different experiences. Slowly, slowly I have learned that other people having a rant and a rave is not the end of the world. And what's more, those people are not the ones who are worth pleasing anyway.

Mascara, dd does that too. It breaks my heart. She does beautiful detailed little drawings then if there's one tiny slip of her pen she scribbles over the lot, screws it up and throws it in the bin. Or does the inevitable and hard to watch punch on her own head.

She's only 5 and she wrote the word raBBit the other day instead of rabbit. She was mortified for the evening.

My DS age 5 is also Highly Sensitive Child and hates being ‘told off’ he will scream/cry and tell me or my husband were “being too harsh I’m only 4!”

he’s very wise beyond his years, unnervingly so at times!!

he’s wonderful and a true assets to our family - a wise old soul in a child’s body!