Health Visitor told me to make my DD go without food even when she cries for it????? :(

[SHAZxMAC]

I messaged on here a while ago about my DD being a big girl for her age. She is off the scale on the growth charts for her weight and just above average height. BMI says she 'obese'

The thing is, she has been that was since birth! And was off the charts for weight long before i even weaned her.

She is healthy, active and i do not give her excessive sugary or fatty foods. She eats her 5 a day, 3 meals and hardly ever snacks.
'
The last time we saw HV she told us to drop her portion sizes. I tried this a little while but DD started to Cry for more at the end of her meal so i gave her more (extra veggys, fruit and stuff - not talking chips etc.)

So i saw the HV today who said she is 'awfully overweight and that i should let her cry'.

My response was that surely it was the kind of things that she was eating that were important, not the portion sizes - and she said if i dont make her get used to not eating so much now she will always be the ' big fat kid!'

Im really discusted by the way she was and was all ready to complain to surgery = but am wondering if she is right in what she is saying and i needed to be told home truths.
Is she just ok in my eyes and not everyone elses.

But what else can i do - i CANNOT leave my little girl crying for more at the end of a meal, i just can't - she is still a baby and i dont think she is mature enough to be able to manipulate more food out of me - i think she must generally be hungry.

Her dad is a big bloke 6ft 4 and always been 'chubby'.

Just to add - my DS is the total opposite - average weight and off the chart height.

Sorry to rant, sounds abit muddled doesnt it!!! Just needed to get off my chest!

Even from the little pic you've posted you can tell she's not overweight.

HVs are nuts and mine told me they don't take height into account anymore when evaluating children's growth - only weight. Obviously ridiculous.

Seriously, they are bonkers. Ignore.

She looks a little chubby, but that's normal at that age. Way too early to start worrying about it. My two were chubby at that age and between 2 and 3 years thinned out. They become more active when they are walking properly. My dd didn't even walk until 19 months. Now they are 5 and almost 7 and the skinniest (and healthyiest) kids in their classes. I was the fattest baby ever and am now (and have been all my life) healthily thin.
Don't even waste your time going to the gp. Just stop going to the hv. I dont' think I saw my hv more than once after my kids passed 12 months.
Just make sure you are feeding her a healthy diet (veggies and fruit lots and fruit juice and sweets and cakes only very occasionally).
Portion sizes are also important, but your dd is far too young for you to be worrying about it.

people often forget the other half of the equation. if calories in exceed calories out fat gain is likely. SO, one can either reduce the in take OR increase the use of calories by upping the exercise level or both.
A child who is always going by car or pushchair or spending a lot of time playing sat down may not be burning as many calories as they are eating. getting them to walk more, or play more actively might help shift a bit of pudge with out having to get draconian about meal sizes.

Hm...from what I saw on the picture and the measurements you are describing she sound completely normal within her own range and certainly doesn't look overweight.
I am not sure in what sort of area you are living, but I have found that, depending on the area, HV can make more of an issue about this then it is due to the pressure they may receive and due to the kind of people they often deal with (i.e. in deprived areas often problems do occur because uneducated parent's do give their children a truely unhealthy Junkfood diet with lots and lots of pop as drinks where also every sign of unsettlement is taking as a hunger cue rather then a bored cue...so, they obvioulsy are full on in trying to discourage this, but may find it difficult to adjust their approach, iykwim).
However, it would be worth asking your HV if she has general concerns, and maybe suspecting underlaying health issues....if she isn't just dismiss it, unless you personally would rather it would be investigated.

She doesn't look obese. Being a qualified nurse does not mean that you are an expert dietican. I bet when you're dd is a bit older and running about more she'll be burning more calories and slim a bit. I think its normal for toddlers to be a bit on the cuddly side.

she looks normal to me & I'm a nurse AND mother so I DO know everything
Seriously though have a chat to the gp

from the BMI charts I have found online your lo is well within normal limits (if anything she is towards the bottom of the normal weight for height). Her BMI comes out at 15.6 which is not obese by any means.

child BMI calculator. I just plotted height and weight as I didnt know the other info

child BMI calculator This one says that an ideal BMI for a girl aged 2 is 16-17 so your lo hasnt reached that figure so she cant be obese to start with.

Your hv is talking pants

p.s. my (just turned) 1 year old is 27lbs so will probably be about the same weight as your lo at 20 months - I have never had negative comments about his size.