Health Visitor told me to make my DD go without food even when she cries for it????? :(

[SHAZxMAC]

I messaged on here a while ago about my DD being a big girl for her age. She is off the scale on the growth charts for her weight and just above average height. BMI says she 'obese'

The thing is, she has been that was since birth! And was off the charts for weight long before i even weaned her.

She is healthy, active and i do not give her excessive sugary or fatty foods. She eats her 5 a day, 3 meals and hardly ever snacks.
'
The last time we saw HV she told us to drop her portion sizes. I tried this a little while but DD started to Cry for more at the end of her meal so i gave her more (extra veggys, fruit and stuff - not talking chips etc.)

So i saw the HV today who said she is 'awfully overweight and that i should let her cry'.

My response was that surely it was the kind of things that she was eating that were important, not the portion sizes - and she said if i dont make her get used to not eating so much now she will always be the ' big fat kid!'

Im really discusted by the way she was and was all ready to complain to surgery = but am wondering if she is right in what she is saying and i needed to be told home truths.
Is she just ok in my eyes and not everyone elses.

But what else can i do - i CANNOT leave my little girl crying for more at the end of a meal, i just can't - she is still a baby and i dont think she is mature enough to be able to manipulate more food out of me - i think she must generally be hungry.

Her dad is a big bloke 6ft 4 and always been 'chubby'.

Just to add - my DS is the total opposite - average weight and off the chart height.

Sorry to rant, sounds abit muddled doesnt it!!! Just needed to get off my chest!

97cms would put her welloff the height scale. Above the top of the blinkin' page by about 3 inches!!

HV is a biy nutty I think!

Ds1 is 2 and Ds2, who is 1 weighs the same!!

DS was 35lb at 23 months.

DO they really use BMI's for children that young??

DS is 26 months now and is just starting to thin out a bit, I can see his legs getting a bit thinner. Some babies are just chubbier (in a nice chubby cuddly baby way, not in the way your HV says) than others.

I am sure she will lose it as she gets more active. If there might be a problem, I would speak to someone who has some skill and experience though, not someone as rude as your HV!

Ds1 is very skinny and tall, like Daddy and is 50th for weight and off the scale for height.
Ds2 is 98th for both height and weight and d'ya know what?

I don't take either of them to clinic any more.
I did take Ds1 when he was little as he was poorly and never fed properly, but Ds2 goes when they actually call me and ask me to bring him in!! He has been 3 times in 12 months!!

I just stay away. They always upset me!!

Oh thank you soooo much for that link - can't understand why HV would want to be such a cow!

I dont have any friends with kiddies the same age etc so have never really had anyone to 'compare' her to.

I always thought she was taller than average but just trusted the 'proffessional' who told me otherwise!

I think i will just carry on as i am then. I wont have to see HV again for a while anyway i dont think.

She must love making me doubt myself!

my eldest was very tall and was on 99.6 for height and weight all his life
Bow he is 13 I can tell you he is strapping but not overweight

Me and DH just measured her whilst shes flat out in bed - Definately no shorter - if anything i knocked a few cm off!

OMG I just realised
I have 3 kids
ds1 - 99.6 centile
dd 0.4 centile
ds2 50th centile

holy moly I'm

a little - got a pic on my trail thing here - www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=18027511&uid=9886353&members=1

I would just say cuddly??

Thank you -

I think i definately will now i have heard everyones comments!

Thank you for your reassurance x

OMG!

ignore the hv, i am yet to meet one who know what they're on about.

my ds was the same, he was 3lbs at 22 months - he was off the charts too - he is now a normal 3.5yr old, and weighs 33lbs, bang on the 50th centile.

31lbs!

I am sorry if this ounds harsh but you HV sounds like a bitch - she is suppose to be there helping and supporting you - anyway my DS was about the same weight ( just checked his red book) - my sister use to call him Big Daddy!! after teh old wrestler - anyway once he started playing outside .i.e out of the garden as it wasn't very big - the weight dropped off him - he is 7 now and everytime we go to the doctors he has to get weighed as she thinks he is underweight - you can never win - I would not worry about it - the more she moves about and grows things will even itself out - if you were not worried about it before don't worry about it just cause she said that - anyway you could change your HV - I think a good HV is a very good thing - especially the ones who go from experience not all out of a book!

Good luck

lol, i was just re-reading that!

I know what you mean - what do you have to do to be a HV anyway? Surely they don't have a lot of training - well, mine doesn't - especially people skills!

You have to be a fully qualified nurse I believe....!

Thats what mine was at my old surgery - She was nice.
'Doreen' was old school and said my kids were too skinny and too chubby.

According to the WHO charts - she is perfectly in proportion bang on the 50th centile weight for height. if you look at the weight and height separately she's about the size of an average 3.5 yo .
So your HV is being somewhat economical saying she's average height -she's off the bloomin chart for her age
Don't know about the crying for food thing though, it's not really a habit I'd like to encourage(by which i mean cave in to) as she could end up overeating and that would be difficult to get on top of if it became a problem later.
Get a dietician referral just so you can get the facts and do the food diary thing, then go back to the HV and rub her face in it.
Lisa X

i would bring her to gp to be sure but my hv was a twat hadnt a clue told me a 4 month old should not be allowed a bottle "if baby can swalllow baby shouldnt suck"muppet

I think they have to be a nurse and then do a specialist hv qualification. Mine is awful.

Shazzy my dd is 18m and weighs over 38lbs - she has not been looked over by an hv since she was a yr old. I was refered to doc when she went off the charts and he said there was nowt to worry about as she was not out of proportion, my family are tall and well built so I think dd is going to be

Only get concerned if she is not active or healthy otherwise use your family as a guide to what is 'normal' for you. She is gorgeous do not worry