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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nightmare 1st session at Tumbletots! - Really low - Do i go back?

74 replies

shaz1234 · 25/09/2007 12:50

My daughter is now 19 months and full of energy so i decided to enrol her into tumbletots.

I have never attended any sort of parenting group etc. i never even went to antenatal.

My daughter has a cousin of a similar age and they spend time together for an hour or so a week, but other than that she really wasnt mixing with other children.

So... i took the leap and now im feeling really really low.

It seems that every other child in the room was well behaved and my little girl was really really out of control.

She wasn't the only child who was there for the first time, as there were quite a few. But she was just sooooo naughty. She did not listen to anything i said, running around the place with no consideration for others.

But isnt that just part of being a toddler? doing what they like and letting off steam.

What upset me is the looks i got off the other mums. No matter how much i tried to make conversation, they wern't interested. I seemed to be chasing my daughter round like a mad women whilst they all had there own little group of well behaved angels!

When it was time to sit in a circle and do songs my daughter screamed, kicked and even slapped my face (which she has never ever done!) as she wanted to go on the aparatus. Everyone was tutting and the leader of the group said afterwards that my daughter obviously had more learning to do at song time.

When she was on the aparatus she wanted to do everything in the wrong order etc and i thought this was fine as she was obviously just getting used to the environment, but they seemed to 'tut' and say she was starting at the wrong end.

This is so unlike her - the reason this has upset me so much is that i am not used to this, everywhere we go, my daughter is normally such a good, polite girl. And even in her tantrums she is usually controllable.

So at the end of the session we kind of left in a hurry red raced and now im unsure what to do.

Part of me thinks that if i do not continue with the sessions then she will never learn how to do it the right way, and learn to enjoy her time there. But another part of me thinks i just cannot go through that again.

I am not very confident person anyway, and am always doubting my parenting skills - maybe im just best to continue as we have been and not try to disrupt her routine with clubs etc????? Or i am holding her back?

I just want my daughter to be happy and to be learning to her full potential.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

littlelapin · 25/09/2007 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

my2cherubs · 25/09/2007 13:45

i had exactly the same experience at Tumbletots and I only went back once more. The sitting in the cirlce, songtime bit was the worst for me. All the other little ones were clapping hands and totally animated whereas my just wanted to carry on being active (like your dd) when I tried to restrain her she SCREAMED! Toddlers aren't meant to be so controlled and enjoy freedom and exploration so I decided Tumbletots just wasn't for us. I found a large soft play thing at my local sports centre where she could just go off and play and mix with other children. We were both much happier there!

Cappuccino · 25/09/2007 13:46

I gave up going to dance classes with dd2 because she just ran off and played on the mats at the other end of the room

she did none of it the rest of them were all doing copying and jumping and whatever she was just out of control

dd1 loved it

do you know I was thinking of tumbletots but if it is so structured there's no point me taking her there either

Tutter · 25/09/2007 13:47

it is capp

don't do it

hitler youth

Tutter · 25/09/2007 13:48

oh shit

am i going to get slaughtered for hitler talk?

sorry all

Lorayn · 25/09/2007 13:51

Crikey!! I have been thinking about taking DS to tumbletots or something similar, he is 2.9 and although I don't feel he/I are is ready for him to go to pre-school yet I think he could benefit from some other kind of socialising.
Am certainly thinking twice about tumbletots now!!

bagpuss · 25/09/2007 13:54

My ds2 was exactly the same as this although we persevered through Gymbabes/TT for the full academic year. Gymbabes was very good for him but he soon outgrew it and when we moved into the TT class he couldn't understand the "rules" of play and I was always running around after him as song time. It mortified me (again plenty of pfb mums around to compound this) but he did end up enjoying it towards the final term. Also as time went on I noticed lots of mums were in the same boat with their children's behaviour, especially as the class was at lunchtime and the children were always hungry or overtired. I haven't bothered renewing my membership for this year however, as we found that we missed loads of sessions due to illness and so it became a big waste of money for us. We now do soft play instead which is cheaper and ds2 seems to enjoy it just as much.

diplodocus · 25/09/2007 13:56

Blimey - expected to do the apparatus in the right order? I find it hard enough to keep my DD (23m) on the apparatus at all at the baby gym session we go to (which is a lot more relaxed)! She keeps running into the adjoining hall and bouncing about on the badminton courts when people are playing match point. I think you'd both be happier at something less structured (and mental note to self to avoid tumbletots!).

GColdtimer · 25/09/2007 13:56

Reading this don't think I will give tumbletots a try, it sounds just like how DD would behave. I have to rugby tackle her to get her shoes off when we go anywhere involving a trampoline and a room full of plastic. Although, surely that is normal for a 17 month old?

Sorry the other mums didn't talk to you, and that the people there were all a bit snooty. I wouldn't be put off trying other groups though because you might just find the thing for you. Our local gym has play sessions where there is loads of equipment, the toddlers can run around like loons, you don't have to book and they burn off enough energy for them to have a really nice sleep in the afternoon.

HonoriaGlossop · 25/09/2007 14:03

I agree that tumbletots is often too much for kids this young. Soft play or the gym set ups in leisure centres where they can free play are more age appropriate IMO; more about free play and playing ALONGSIDE rather than with others and as part of something organised.

CissyCharlton · 25/09/2007 14:04

My ds1 HATED tumbletots with a passion. We eventually gave up after he point blank refused to go into the room. He's nearly 6 now and we laugh about it.

By the way, don't for one second think that this is in any way an indicator of things to come. Ds1 is now (generally) good at following instructions from adults and he loves sport and other activities.

littleboo · 25/09/2007 14:05

i wouldn't advise tumbletots after my experiences and agree with little lapin, my dc's were just being normal energetic toddlers, think some of the others were little robots though ... !

OldieMum · 25/09/2007 14:06

Don't be put off TT without trying it. Your child's experience may be very different. I started taking DD to TT from when she was about 20 months old, because she seemed physically a bit hesitant (in soft play areas etc). She loved it and gave up only this summer, when she started school. The teachers were very friendly and warm to the children and it was a pleasure to see her delight in the growth of her confidence in climbing, balancing etc. I never put any pressure on her to go - it came from her. Presumably, it just suits some children and not others. She took a year or so to start joining in the songs, though!!!

hunkermunker · 25/09/2007 14:06

DS1 went once to TT when he was a similar age. He very earnestly went on everything in the wrong order, then looked very hard at how the balance beams were put together/supported a lot (and got in the way of the children who still wanted to use the equipment).

I was 7m pregnant or so at the time and I just thought arse to it.

DS1's 3.5 now and still not a joiner of things - he is very eager to do specific things during song time, he sits and takes it all in (I've just realised he knows any nursery rhyme you care to mention, tunes, word-perfect, everything, and I can only imagine it's from being A Good Watcher And Listener, because he's definitely not a joiner-in!).

My 20mo DS2, on the other hand, would probably join in perfectly. But I still can't be arsed to take him to TT He'll have to make do with a music group and a toddler group where he can do Dingle-Dangle Scarecrow to his heart's content!

hunkermunker · 25/09/2007 14:08

Can I just say that this is a lovely example of a newbie thread that's just about perfect? I might post it to demonstrate that newbies DO get help on MN

Welcome to MN, btw, Shaz!

southeastastra · 25/09/2007 14:11

some children will cope well at tt as some love to be told what to do, in what order etc. agree a more free play session at a leisure centre would be better for children that like to run about more.

Anoah · 25/09/2007 14:12

This describes the behaviour of my kids at their first tumbletots session. They went into full tantrum awkward mode. Those other kids, who appeared to be well behaved angels, probably give their parents a hard time on other occasions.

Don't worry about the other kids and their ignorant parents. Just have a good time with your DD. She'll settle down.

GColdtimer · 25/09/2007 14:15

Ah see, there will always be help on MN for those who ask for it.

Seriously though hunker, I was just thinking the same thing. I am a newbie and I ALWAYS get help when I ask for it.

Saturn74 · 25/09/2007 14:20

Oh Shaz, please find a different group, someone where the other mothers are welcoming, and your DD doesn't pick up on your anxiety. (I am sure that is why she slapped you, tbh).

Or maybe take her to the park, meet other parents, and ask them round for a coffee.

Or ask your Health Visitor or local surgery for any other local groups that will be slightly less populated by Stepford Wives.

One day you'll look back at laugh at the uptight and snooty women at Tumbletots, who looked down on a lively, tiny little girl for being just that.

littlelapin · 25/09/2007 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lorayn · 25/09/2007 14:27

I want as funky name, i wish I hadnt used my forename now
I was originally going to use my myspace name (fan-fkn-tastic) but, get this, wasnt sure if I should because it has a kind of swearing in it and this is a parenting forum, oh the jokes!

GColdtimer · 25/09/2007 14:27

Oh and yes, Shaz, if you don't know of any other groups in your area, post a message on the MN local thread, they might come up with some different ideas.

Miaou · 25/09/2007 14:31

I have nothing of value to add to this thread Shaz, except to say please change your name to NakedBakedBeanFrenzy as LL suggests, that is too funny for words!!! (and everyone will remember you!)

boo64 · 25/09/2007 14:37

I definitely don't think you should go back. Why put yourselves through it. We had several classes we tried which just didn't suit us, so we stopped and spent days doing things we both enjoyed. A while later I started working out which classes worked for us and selected only those ones rather than the ones i felt we should be doing. We have been so much happier since then!

I agree with others, toddlers don't need the likes of TT or other classes - they CAN be a fun way to fill your time but if you or your dc don't enjoy them there are plenty of other nice things to do.

The mums sound horrid by the way!

Acinonyx · 25/09/2007 14:37

I stopped taking dd to tumbletots for the opposite reason. She's so shy that we were never there long enough for her to peel off me. She loves indoor soft play places though and we have a couple we go to fairly regularly (ie when it rains), usually but not always with other toddlers she knows. Very structured classes of any kind are pretty challenging for toddlers (and especially for their parents). They get a much beter workout too. Jill

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