6 months old wont sleep through

[Mistiek]

Hello,

I am not sure if this is normal or not but my Litte girl is now 6 months old and wont sleep through. I did not mind the 1 feed a night as it was all done in semi darkness with no talking or changing nappies etc. Its was just a feed and straight back to sleep. This is still the case however its now happening twice a night and as I am the one who gets up for night feeds (daddy has to be up at 4:30 for work) I am finding it really frustrating. My son was 3 months when he started to sleep through but she is so different.

I was very strict with Josh as I wanted no habits and it all worked out brilliantly. However with Paige its been so difficult as she was a difficult pregnancy, 2 weeks early C-sec and very colicy baby who would only settle in my arms. I have rocked her to sleep (something whcih we are now breaking the habit of with good results). I dont know if this has anything to do with the night feeds as she is still learning to put herself to sleep.

Last night (or at 4am this morning) I tried the water method and only gave her water to drink. She drank a bit and then started to settle so I would put her down and walk out. 5 min later she was crying again. After 40min I gave in as I am not feeling too well myself and could not struggle any longer....

Please help as I dont know what is the best method and the best way to get her to sleep though. My friend tells me to leave it but her 3 year old still gets up sometimes and her 1 year old is still waking up at night for a feed. I beleive habits start early and so I want to get her into a good routine like I did with my son.

Some advice now would be great as I really don't know what to do...
Thanks

Poor you. My 9 month old has only just started to sleep through (past 2 nights) and that's with us letting her shout it out. It took 3 nights. I don't think it would have worked at 6 months though - she seemed genuinely hungry and they do have a massive growth spurt then. Of all 'my lot', I think only one baby was sleeping through and even then not all the time - it seems more 'normla' that they don't round here. Sorry, that's not much help is it? I would say if she doesn't settle with soothing or water and keeps waking and she's isn't too hot/cold/ill /dirty nappy, then she may be genuinely hungry.

I found that my lo started to sleep through once we had really cracked the 'going to sleep by himself'. We did it very gradually and instead of just trying to cut out the feed I increased the time between feeds (you could instead decrease the amount you are giving if you are not bf). I did it very gently so it took a long time but it worked in the end (I'm afraid I did not start until my lo was about 8 months and was waking every hour or so he is now 14 months but it all went pear shaped when I went back to work at 12months so we had to start again)

From all I have read it is a bit of a myth this sleeping through at 6 months but good luck!

Well by the sounds of it I was very lucky with my son. He slept through from 3 months and has hardly had any nights when he wakes up for anything... even the potty (and no wet beds yet either) he is now 2.8.

hmmm - mind you I have a friend who's daughter is 2 days younger than mine and is sleeping through . I guesse its just each lo personality..... she is a real little monkey.

Thanks for the replies!

my dd is 2 at the end of october and still wakes in the night for a feed. she drinks it straight down and settles back to sleep straight away. i think she is just genuinely hungry as she doesnt eat a great deal in the daytime. my friend says i should give her just water in the night to discourage her to wake for it, but i cant bring myself to do it. i work and am tired enough as it is without being up all hours with a crying child. i was once told that everything is a phase, so she will grow out of it. im not too bothered about it, and will only be willing to do something about it when im thinking of having a second child.

Hi Mis is she weaned yet? Is she getting hungry d'you think?

Hey bossy...

Sorry for the late reply but I have only just finished folding all the washing and putting it away - Yawn.

Yes she is now fully weaned and does still seem hungry when she wakes. She eats only 2 meals a day as she does not seem to be very interested in Breakfast and only wants a bottle. She is still on only 5 oz bottles as she seems to get full after that... so maybe she is not drinking enough milk during the day?

Yesterday she was not herself harldey ate during the day and came up in spots - doc said its a viral infection. She however ate all her dinner and had some juice (with 5ml of medised in it) and slept until 5:30 this morning! Which was lovely - but then she would not go back to sleep and at 6am hubby had to get up! I got a lie in till 8am...

Sounds to me like she has got rooted into the habit of night feeding combined with the rocking to sleep so she wakes and can't settle herself back off. I quite harshly did CC at 3mths with dd and it lasted 4 nights. From 12 wks she slept through. If you think about how your stomach rumbles when it is close to lunch time, this is probably what is happening with her at night. You have allowed her to set her body to think it requires feeding in the night, consequently she is not interested in breakfast because she had a night feed which she doesn't need.
IMHO the only way to get her out of the habit is to give nothing except comfort when she wakes, then reduce cuddle time and lastly do cc.

I don't know what sort of food she's eating at the moment, but I wouldn't be confident to rule out hunger until she's on 3 proper meals a day, including proper protein like meat , and also bulky carbs like pasta.

If she's still at the fruit / veg puree stage, then that's not going to fill her up for long.

IMHO I would continue encouraging her to learn how to settle herself to sleep when she goes down for naps, as this will help her go back down quickly after a feed at night. It'll also help her resettle herself at night if she wakes for a reason other than hunger

I wouldn't be confident to withdraw night feeds until she's properly established on solids though.

Once you get to that point, if you're breast feeding, try to make each night feed shorter by about 5 mins every few days.

If you're formula feeding, you can either make the feeds gradually smaller, or you can water down the formula gradually.

Structure her daytime food and milk so you know she's getting everything she needs during the daytime.

Then, if after all that, she's still waking up, then it might be time to try controlled crying. For me though, that should be a last resort, with every other avenue tried first.

Does she have a dummy? Will she settle at night with that instead of a feed??

I know it's exhausting though - I feel for you!! I found night feeds much more bearable once I got to the stage when i could feed my ds, then put him back down awake and we'd both go back to sleep without each other!!

If I were you, I'd concentrate on getting to that stage for now, and maybe look at dropping the feed completely in another month or so, when solids are properly established.

HTH

If it was true hunger then she would be taking more than 5oz of milk per feed at 6 mths. Also the op said that she was fully weaned which to me would mean eating all food groups and some finger foods. Sorry but I don't feel that night feeds should be necessary at 6mths. If hunger was a problem she would be eating 3 meals per day +snacks and 4-5 9oz milk feeds and still waking. Food and milk should only be given during waking hours if you want a baby that sleeps well. Until she cuts out the night feed she is unlikely to be interested in breakfast, however, once she starts eating breakfast she will probably not wake for a night feed, if the last bottle is at 7pm. Since the lo can't be forced to eat breakfast, the only sensible solution is to cut out the night feed.

In fact I forgot to ask the op about her milk timings, this could affect things.

I don't disagree with you Tori - I just wanted to check what she was eating solids-wise.

I know people who consider their babies fully weaned, but still only feed (to me ) very small amounts of fruit and veg at certain meals of the day. Also, babies who are following baby led weaning, sometimes actually eat very little at this age, and therefore still may need extra milk feeds.

I'm not saying this is wrong, only that you can't expect that to fill a baby up the way other foods would.

Once the op is confident that her baby is eating food from all major groups during the day, then I completely agree, she needs to take action to drop the night feed, or it will affect the baby's appetite during the day. ( the two have to happen in conjunction really)

To drop the night feed, she can either go cold turkey and cut it out completely, or (my preferred option) phase it out gradually over a week or so.

Good Luck Mistiek!!

She's six months old!
She's a tiny baby.
Of course she wakes up!

'I wanted no habits@

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

She's a baby not a clockwork toy.

Oh moondog. I can vouch that babies as young as 6 weeks play the system, having watched dd squawking but not in the least distressed. i.e. no tears, no fist clenching, no writhing around in the cot, just pure I want you to give me attention now. Unfortunately, if you don't teach babies about day and night routines they don't just 'do it' as some people have you believe. 6mths is not tiny. They need to learn that night is for sleep not play or feeding. At 6 mths if they eat the correct type and quantity of solids (rarely enough in baby led weaning as Jojay said) they should be capable of sleeping through, unless they were premature, which changes things.

'play the system?' yikes. isn't it okay that they want your attention? they're only wee things...

for the record jojay didn't say blw babies eat 'rarely enough'. she said 'Also, babies who are following baby led weaning, sometimes actually eat very little at this age, and therefore still may need extra milk feeds.' which is true.

not true of my dd, though, who slept 6 and 7 hours at a time from six weeks, (obviously she played us like lutes ), was picked up whenever she wanted and ate bucketloads from day one of weaning. no system, no habits, just getting on with things and enjoying having a baby. and no-one told her what she 'should' be able to do.

hope you all manage to come to some accomodation, mistiek.

Moondog , God help my children. Actually my dd is a very well behaved child, who has slept through since 12 wksfrom 7-7, eats everything I give her, is happy and rarely tantrums. She also is able to distinguish colours and say there names, along with a vocab of prob 600-700 words including using verbs. She also understands complexed instructions. She will go happily into creche without me even though she has only been twice. Likewise we have a wonderful relationship and have lots of fun together. She also brushes her own teeth fairly well, will actively tidy up without prompting in a useful way, taking empty pots to the kitchen etc. As I CM we go on outings every day. We do lots of activites including painting, messy play, reading. Did I mention that she can do all of these things because of my LACK OF ATTENTION!!! PS she can also name most domestic and zoo animals, recognise maps, say words in french and spanish, ALL AT 20MTHS. ALL BECAUSE OF MY LACK OF ATTENTION AND MY INSANITY!!!

Thanks Aitch

she sounds like my dd, tori (although i've never gone so far as to count her words, she did tell us today 'trike, i want to ride it', which i found not unimpressive at 21 months).

i never felt the need to let her scream herself to sleep and i think that all the 'playing the system' stuff is UTTER BULLSHIT. babies need attention and they should get it, teaching them tough lessons about night and day because it's what you fancy doing is, imo, cruel. even GF doesn't recommend CC at three months.

Thats no different from me calling you a nature loving tree hugger. Get a grip. Wasn't going to resort to rude, however, whats good for the goose etc

I didn't say give no attention, I said keep attention for day times. There is a difference.

You need locking up.

nature loving tree hugger isn't really an insult, you know... some people might say it was a compliment.

not if you wake up screaming for your mother in the middle of the night, there isn't.

And your description of your kid merely confirms my initial diagnosis.
When I meet parents like this (in my work as a speech and language therapist) alarm bells start ringling wildly.

actually, that's really pissed me off. that's the second time you've purposely mis-quoted people. please note. "babies need attention and they should get it, teaching them tough lessons about night and day because it's what you fancy doing is, imo, cruel.'
i specifically mentioned night and day, i didn't remotely imply that you weren't paying her attention, merely that you were doing it when you wanted to rather than when your daughter required it.