Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Please Help! How do you deal with SPITTING? (2yr olds)

62 replies

LoveMyGirls · 17/09/2007 11:57

I'm at the end of my tether with this problem and I have no idea how to solve it, so please help if you can?

My mindee has a habit of spitting, he used to spit his food out but he's coming along with that now but I really don't know how to deal with spitting once and for all? My dd2 is now copying him and thinks its funny What is the best technique to use to get them both to stop it?

Today mindee started doing it while i was walking with the pushchair I asked him to stop (he didnt) then dd2 joined in and they both carried on even once they were in the car.

Telling them to stop seems to make it worse but if i ignore it they spray spit absolutly everywhere, plus don't they need to know it is wrong to do this?

Tia

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 19/09/2007 14:28

I have contacted mum, told her about this morning and how I can't have his behaviour continue like this, she agreed and wants me to do a list of rules and how i handle them so she can follow them at home, i'm also going to suggest she watch super nanny for tips on how to do time out (good idea or not?) I'm also going to do a CD of pics I have of mindee so she can see I'm not an ogre that is forever telling him off and he does actually have fun here too. She is going to contact HV for advice and possibly a home visit i have said i will see/ speak to HV as well if needed.

OP posts:

MaureenMLove · 19/09/2007 14:48

Good, hopefully it will get sorted now. Bit odd though, that she wants to follow your rules, when surely it should be the other way round? Maybe its just me though! Anything is better than nothing!

law3 · 19/09/2007 15:24

LMG - It would definately help if you and the mum follow the same rules. If she doesnt already have any rules of her own in place, i would just tell her how you plan to do it. I have the 1-2-3 time out method in a word document, if you want i can copy and paste here, so you can give her a copy, if thats any help?????

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 19/09/2007 16:03

That would be great thanks Law, MML - mum had him at 17 and he is her first so has never handled any of this before, i can sympathise as i was a first time mum at 17 too. I guess because we don't have the community spirit like we used to young mums don't get as much help which is why i'm trying so hard to help her but i need her to help me too.

I'm going to try and get on a behaviour course as well.

OP posts:

law3 · 19/09/2007 16:25

LMG - Here you go, hope it helps, this applys to hitting/spitting/biting. Its 1 minute per year in age for time out. so he would be time out for 2 minutes.

If he does it at home you have to very consistent (the key!), even if you are out in public you can still use time out. I would tell him the rules before he misbehaves, such as: "Mummy isnt happy with the way you have been hitting. When i see you start to hit then i will count to 3 and the behavior better end before i get to 3. If it doesn't you will go to time-out." Pick a time-out spot that is relatively boring. We always used the base of the stairs. Anyway, try to catch him right before he hits and count "1-2-3"...don't take your time either. Let's say he goes ahead and hits. You scoop him up and put him in time-out. Tell him he will sit quietly for 3 minutes before he gets up and you will start the timer when he is sitting quietly. Each time he gets up or screams...whatever...then say, without emotion, "you got up so we'll have to start all over." You may have to say/do that 15 times, but he will be learning that you ARE consistent, there are negative consequences to his actions, and you will follow through.

Agressive behaviour can sometimes be a way of gaining attention so be careful not to give more attention to him than the victim. A big telling off still means he is in the spotlight.

MaureenMLove · 19/09/2007 16:49

That sounds perfectly acceptable then! She's very lucky to have you to guide her through the tough bits.

law3 · 19/09/2007 17:10

LMG - Sorry have to say personally i think 2 is a little young for time out, you can use a stern 'no' and just move them away if you wanted to.

But still im sure you know your kids better than anyone and what will work and what wont, so i will butt out!!!!

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 19/09/2007 19:20

Law, I really wish a simple stern no was enough to solve this.

OP posts:

law3 · 19/09/2007 22:03

lmg - everyone can give you ideas, suggestions, opinions etc, but whatever works for you, is the right way.

MaureenMLove · 19/09/2007 22:17

Try not to get too down about this LMG. You really are doing your best, but as Shosh says, if you're not getting the support from the parents, I'm afraid its going to take time. I understand that you can't just give them notice, but I'd start thinking of advertising again tbh. You've done your best and will keep doing your best, but you can't have it effecting your family, and it is. Chin up chuck, we're here.

Original poster

LoveMyGirls · 20/09/2007 11:54

Today is better so far. I had a tip from another cm that when he spits to wipe his face and say no. yuck. So will try that next time he does it.

OP posts:

MaureenMLove · 20/09/2007 15:21

Sounds like a plan to me. Sometimes we try so hard to actually make them understand things and they're only little, why should they understand? We're taugh to analyse everything about the little darlings and actually all they really need is a simple no. Glad its not too bad today.

Flip

1 2 3