Toddler 22 months not pointing or talking

[Newmomma2705]

Hi, my DD has just turned 22 months, she has been referred to a peadeatrician but due to long waiting lists and current corona I don't know how long the appointment will take to come through. We are very worried about her she is not pointing to communicate and cannot say any words only babble dada baba mama yaya ta but not in any context. She does have good eye contact, doesn't always respond to her name. She has no sensory issues at all, eats and sleeps well, doesnt react to loud sounds or changes of routine. She does enjoy her stacking blocks, but wouldn't say it was repetitive she stacks them and looks for approval from us and smiles and claps when finishes. (Yes she can clap) when I haven't been with her she smiles and claps when I come in the room. She doesn't really interact with children she basically completely ignores them (some adults as well) she goes to nursery and enjoys it she walks in and doesn't cry and the nursery teachers said they have no worries aboit eye contact just thay she doesn't play with her peers (although she will go up to them if they have food). She is playful loves being chased and loves peek a boo. does this sound like autism or a speech and language/ communication problem? Could she grow out of it or what can I do to help bring her development along? Her understanding is also a big concern as she understands no and some other things but very limited. If I asked her to get shoes, bring teddy she would have absolutely no idea but if I pass her shoes she will put them on and walk to the door. Thanks x

Nothing in your description sounds concerning except the no pointing and limited receptive language - everything else can be age appropriate. I agree that those two concerns are enough for her to be referred to a pediatrician so that they can have a closer look. Remember that autism is not a sensory disorder, or a 'poor eye contact' disorder, or a 'being shy' disorder - toddlers with autism can have excellent eye contact, have no sensory issues, use all sorts of learned gestures and be very socially motivated - there is no one thing that can confirm or rule out autism. If she does not point how does she request what she wants? (like something that is out of reach) and share experiences with you (like a plane in the sky)?

Thank you for your reply, if she wants something milk, juice, or so on she will bring me her cup/ bottle or If something is in her reach she will bring it me if she can see it but it's out of reach she will stand near and whinge whilst looking at it.. if it's to high she pulls on my clothes to be picked up so she could reach it herself. She does bring toys and things for me to play with her (her stackers/ mega blocks/ bubbles).. however sharing experiences such as planes in the sky or things outside she wouldn't be interested in showing me at all she would just probably look her self at them.

Hi, this sounds very much like my daughter, she has just turned 2 in March, and has only recently just started pointing, she doesn’t talk just babbles like your daughter. We seen a speech therapist and she’s referred her onto a paediatrician but like you say there is a long waiting list and now with everything else going on it will be a longer wait.
I personally think it is just a communication delay, and as with your daughter mine doesn’t role play either, unless we do it first then she copies but she doesn’t initiate it.
Sorry this isn’t really advise but just to let you know I’m in the same boat as you x

Thank you so much for your message it's nice to know I'm not alone, it's such a worry and not knowing if she will grow out of it yet and develop communication skills is worrying. Some times I feel like she's fine and others I question myself and it's really getting me down. I hope it's just a communication problem and she develops. The not pointing is really stressing me.

Hi @Newmomma2705, any update on her? As my son is just the same right now, so would love to get an update on how your daughter is doing now

Hi @dad1907 my girl is now 2 and a half. She still isn't talking and has been pointing to request since 23 months but not to share interest. She can say the odd word and babbles constantly she is under SALT who are teaching her PECS which she is picking up really quick. However she communicates her needs quite well brings things she wants or stomps and tantrums to get her own way. She has come on alot since this post but still hasn't been seen by professionals due to covid. She is now potty trained in the day, and absolutely loves children she gets so excited to see them & cuddles them. She is behind her peers in speech language and communication but I don't know if she will get a diagnosis. When I wrote this post I was so down and upset about it but she is progressing brilliantly x

Thanks for the update @Newmomma2705! Glad your little one is doing well! Hopeful!

Hi @Newmomma2705 and @Dad1907 can you update me on your little ones progress?
I am going through exactly the same with my DS who will be 22 months this week.
@Newmomma2705 reading your first post was almost like I had wrote it myself about my own little boy. He has also been referred by my health visitor but like you say will take a while. I am so worried and finding it so difficult to focus on anything else atm. X

Hi @3boysmumma my DD is now 3.5 And we still don't know if it's autism or not - however an update on her.. she had a hearing test at around 22 months that was inconclusive they told me she had bilateral glue ear but it was fine and would clear thid was just before covid hit. When she turned 2.5 she started holding things to her ear and turning her head to the Tele but nobody wpuld see her cos of covid. Just before she turned 3 they did a hearing test and she had bilateral glue ear again and said they don't know if it ever went or it's still there anyway long story short she got grommets privately when she was 3.1 years. She started speaking single words one week after. She is doing excellent now she is nearly 3.5 she can say HUNDREDS of single words and has just started linking 2. She loves children but struggles to interact. She has been diagnosed with a developmental language disorder with 2 speech therapists saying it's not autism & 2 constualt peadeatrician saying it is severe hearing problems causing speech and language problems . They have not ruled out autism completely but they are not reviewing her till next March. Her eye contact can still be fleeting but she communicates well. She is obviously far behind her peers but definately progressing faster than I originally thought. Please PUSH for a hearing test if you haven't already. Xx

@Newmomma2705 Thank you for your reply. Reading your message bought tears to my eyes, I'm so happy you DD is doing so well and speaking hundreds of words, what amazing progress and all through these difficult times with covid too, I'm sure that has not helped our LOs with being in lockdown for so long. It is really reassuring that the speach therapists are saying its not autism too. Funny you mentioned about a hearing test, we had one a few months back which came back inconclusive so we have booked a private one which is this week. My DS doesn't always turn when I call him but hears music and loves songs especially at play group and nursery, he is always full of smiles and giggles, loves playing chase with his 4 yr old brother and trys to give other children toys/teddy's etc, he has brilliant eye contact and uses it quite well when trying to communicate. He doesn't point at things he wants or wave but takes my hand and leads me then raises his arms to be picked up. He doesn't have any sensory issues either but has in the last couple of weeks started hitting his head (not hard) but enough to make me more concerned, he doesn't have a good comprehension but knows his feet and understands "shoes on, sit up, no, get down" but like your DD wouldn't be able to go get a toy etc if I asked him. He's always such a happy little boy and very chilled out, loves his food and sleep. I am just so worried it is something very serious. Xx

Hi @3boysmumma, our DS is now 2.5 and seems like it was just slightly delayed development.. he suddenly just started pointing and totally took off with talking after he turned 2. We did spend a lot of time with him every single day reading, playing with him and not sure if that had an impact but it definitely made us feel less helpless and bonded us closer as a family after we had gotten really scared by a developmental paed (who turned out to be completely wrong in her diagnosis). I guess the cliche of kids having their own trajectories of growth is true and sometimes the little ones might just be late to things like pointing and talking.. Hope that helps!

@3boysmumma I just read the post about ur DS and reminds me a lot of our son to be honest…he didn’t point, liked his food, no sensory issues, could understand a few basic instructions but just didn’t speak a single word.. when our son was 20 months old, every single autism related symptom (apart from sensitivity and lining up toys) we googled seemed to be there and even a developmental paed evaluated and said he has a moderate to high risk of autism.. it just turned out however that he needed more time and he started pointing when he turned 2 and then just took off.. like ur DS he loved songs and rhymes and that’s how he started talking : completing the last word of each sentence of rhymes.. he only said mamma and Appa a couple of months post his first words and now speaks sentences and has just exploded.. so yeah sometimes kids just need that extra time.. lots of love to the little one and All the very best.

@Dad1907 wow what a turn around with your ds. I'm so pleased it was just delayed development and nothing more concerning. I'm feeling more hopeful. Thank you 🙏🏻

Hi everyone, how are your little ones all doing now? My son is almost 19 months and is not talking or gesturing and im really worried - i am going to contact the gp as he doesnt always respond to his name and he makes eye contact but not all the time - google has led me down a rabbit hole any responses would be so helpful!

@Dad1907 @3boysmumma @Newmomma2705

@r1911

Hi everyone, how are your little ones all doing now? My son is almost 19 months and is not talking or gesturing and im really worried - i am going to contact the gp as he doesnt always respond to his name and he makes eye contact but not all the time - google has led me down a rabbit hole any responses would be so helpful!

Hi @r1911 my DS is doing fine now like I mentioned in my post in november.. He was pretty much like ur son and not pointing and not talking and not always responding to his name but like I mentioned, he suddenly started pointing around 22 months or so and took off very fast (starting with rhymes and songs)... Sometimes kids just need more time and develop at their own pace.. It might also help to go to a speech therapist.. we did that around when he turned 2 or so for a few classes and that also helped I think , mainly to teach me and my wife how to keep pushing him on speech (start with nouns, move to verbs then adjectives etc.) ... Lots of love to the little one and all the best...

@Dad1907 thank you so much for responding. I know you had previously updated so thank you for taking the time to reply.

Did he have any other behaviours you worried about? My little one sometimes bangs the floor whilst crouching and can be hard to distract but at other times can be quite social when engaged for short bursts.

Hi @r1911my little girl is doing well now pretty much similar to my last update. She has developmental language disorder I think in the long run she will be assessed for.autism but she has lost alot of traits that nobody thinks she will get a diagnosis now. She also used to head bang the floor, she used to also bite her wrist but not done either for 2 years. She has changed alot now & I was so upset when she was younger but I now realise I didn't even know what autism was properly and now she's progressed so.much I'm not that bothered about a diagnosis. It is a worrying time and it ruined her toddler years for me but she's doing well. I suggest you request a hearing test. Xxx

[quote r1911]@Dad1907 thank you so much for responding. I know you had previously updated so thank you for taking the time to reply.

Did he have any other behaviours you worried about? My little one sometimes bangs the floor whilst crouching and can be hard to distract but at other times can be quite social when engaged for short bursts.[/quote]
The main thing was he didnt point (at all), very little response to his name, didnt talk, we also googled and got worried about repeating things like repeating actions like constantly opening and closing bottle caps etc. He also didnt acknowledge us/didnt have separation anxiety at all and despite lots of efforts didnt call us mama and appa/papa ... he gradually started doing all those things from 22 months onwards and by 28-29 months really started accelerating in speech/social interaction/more clingy with us etc.

on the physical side, he had no sensory issues, didnt line up toys, didnt bang the floor but did quite a bit of what we saw was flapping his hands that worried us as we googled that when we went down the google rabbithole as a sign of stimming (and that also turned out as a false alarm).. Hope that helps...All the best!

@Newmomma2705 thank you for responding and sharing. Its so lovely to read how well she is doing 💗

@Dad1907 thank you for responding, he sounds very similar to my son now so thats reassuring to read that he is also now doing so well. I really appreciate the detailed responses.

@Dad1907 @@3boysmumma@Newmomma2705

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. How are your babies doing now? I've found myself on this thread after constant scrolling through different diagnoses and disorders, trying to match them to my own son. To read that your little ones started off so similarly to my boy only to go on and progress at a later stage has lifted a little weight off my shoulders tonight, i hope and pray he'll follow the same track.

He is 21 months old, he doesn't point, wave, he does not talk at all. He makes sounds, some can sound like words like "hiya" or "yeah" or even sometimes we'll hear the occasional "dadada". "Dada" was his first sound and so presumably his first word, but there is no context to the sounds he makes and no attempt at commucating through them that we can understand anyways. He paces back and forth a lot. He flaps his arms and does a lot of repetitive movements. He can clap but not when asked to, only on his own accord when he seems to be off in a hype/stimulated. He sways a lot and just really doesnt stand very still at all. He was always a very quiet baby until he just started making noise one day, and has been a noisy boy since. Lots of Y, G, A, sounds, and loads of squealing (like a firework) But still no words, and no effort in trying to copy my words. He wont mimic gestures and has limited eye contact. He absolutely won't look at people hes unfamilar with, avoids all contact with his many cousins around his age (which almost hurts to watch the other kids do so well together socially) but he has been making more eye contact with me recently than he was between 8-14 months.

He seemed to be hitting his milestones perfectly until around 7-8 months, we had a house move and i returned to work at 9 months. He all of a sudden stopped really smiling and laughing, it became impossible to get any eye contact from him or to gain his attention in any way. This went on for a while before i realised singing to him caught his attention and gained some eye contact.. Not all the time, but sometimes.
He will laugh and smile much more frequently now, but not at people, not at me. He gets excited when paw patrol is on TV. He will burst into fits of laugher and smile wide. He will also have moments of bursting into fits of laughter and smiling at what seems to be nothing.

He can respond to kisses. Sometimes when i ask for one and pout towards him, he will come right to me and kiss my lips, other times he will bow his head infront of me to let me kiss his head, and the rest of the time he will physically push me away or turn himself away.

When hes pacing back and forward eg from one kitchen cupboard to another, opening, peak inside then closing, back to the other cupboard and repeat, its like hes in a world of his own. I stepped out of the kitchen yesterday so he could see me leave, called his name and he continued to pace, i then tried to bribe with snacks, he turned towards me but then carried on pacing - i think i tried for about 15 minutes to get him to follow me to the next room with no success, when i picked him up he was upset and had a meltdown.

I have a 1 month old son too. Im trying so hard to focus on them equally but im finding myself consumed by my thoughts and worries that neither of them are getting the mum they deserve.

I am so hopeful that my little boy takes a dramatic turn like your little ones. Autism doesnt scare me, and I'm so ready to support my little boy if that is the road we're going down. But to hear his thoughts, to know his likes and dislikes, or even to be called mama would be the most wonderful thing in the world.

If you got this far, thank you for taking the time

@Boymum25 my son took a dramatic leap at around 23 months and and now he is 3 years old and talking full sentences and lots of conversations and enjoying school … he also didn’t call us mama or Appa (dad in my language) till he was Exactly two years old..

I can only say with my limited experience that with kids there are some that grow linearly and some that have growth spurts and ours was clearly the latter and would leap every few months starting from 23 months in ways that was astonishing.. I.e suddenly talking full sentences from just barely one-two word responses a day before…

we did do ABA therapy for 3 months but we genuinely felt that it was unnecessary as he really started exploding suddenly one day and we realised that that’s the way he develops.. in spurts and not linearly.. (and we checked with our paediatrician and she told us his dev was fine)

All I can say is as a parent, is maybe have a consult with your paed first and then if she/he recommends, with a developmental paed next and avoid just pure googling etc as every google search made us convinced it was autism.. it might/ it might not be but a doctor would be the way to go..

All the very very best.

Hi @Boymum25 my little girl is just 4 now, she is doing really really well. Still behind her peers but progress has been amazing. I do think she has a language disorder they will diagnose when she's 5 but I don't think she will meet the autism criteria at all now which I did when she was your boys age. She's so much more engaged in the world and her attempts at communicate are constant and amazing. She speaks in 2/ 3 word sentances her understanding has improved dramatically and socially she tries really hard although her language sets her back. She is very very different to the child I had at 23 months. My first advice would be express your concerns to a health visitor if you are UK ask them to do his 2 year check early it can be done from 23 months. And insist on a hearing test my little girl had glue ear for over a year she spoke her first words 2 or 3 days past grommets (I had no concern about her hearing rill they told me it was low!) Get a referral to a speech therapist pay private if you can afford to you will get a much more detailed review and ideas to help your boy communicate. We used PECS my girl picked it up so quickly and t deffo made her realise communicating with us could get her things and was fun. Also enjoy him. My girl loves nursery and that's benefitted her she gets some 1:1 support there. They change so much I wish I hadn't worried as much when she was young. However I also have another boy now he is 17 months, he has no communication problems at all and If I had him first and knew how behind my girl was I would of pushed for more help qhen she was smaller. Xx

@Newmomma2705 can I ask what procedure you went through to go privately for grommets? My little boy has got glue ear in both ears and is behind with speech and language. Nhs tell me I have to wait another 3 months but I’m not prepared to waste anymore time x

Contact the private hospital and ask them for a consultation with an ENT consultant, you might need to arrange to have NHS notes sent over. They will then take you through the process and advise of next steps