Toddler 22 months not pointing or talking

[Newmomma2705]

Hi, my DD has just turned 22 months, she has been referred to a peadeatrician but due to long waiting lists and current corona I don't know how long the appointment will take to come through. We are very worried about her she is not pointing to communicate and cannot say any words only babble dada baba mama yaya ta but not in any context. She does have good eye contact, doesn't always respond to her name. She has no sensory issues at all, eats and sleeps well, doesnt react to loud sounds or changes of routine. She does enjoy her stacking blocks, but wouldn't say it was repetitive she stacks them and looks for approval from us and smiles and claps when finishes. (Yes she can clap) when I haven't been with her she smiles and claps when I come in the room. She doesn't really interact with children she basically completely ignores them (some adults as well) she goes to nursery and enjoys it she walks in and doesn't cry and the nursery teachers said they have no worries aboit eye contact just thay she doesn't play with her peers (although she will go up to them if they have food). She is playful loves being chased and loves peek a boo. does this sound like autism or a speech and language/ communication problem? Could she grow out of it or what can I do to help bring her development along? Her understanding is also a big concern as she understands no and some other things but very limited. If I asked her to get shoes, bring teddy she would have absolutely no idea but if I pass her shoes she will put them on and walk to the door. Thanks x

I googled private children ent consultants near me and went from there however I do work in a hospital and knew the consultant was a good one. Birmimgham based if it's anywhere near you x

Hey @Newmomma2705 great to see you're still active here now, how's your little girl doing now?

Thank you. I’ve had a look into some around south wales (where I’m from) but none will see him until he’s 3. Can I ask which hospital/doctor you saw? I will travel to Birmingham if needs be

Hi @RiverRock22 yes still active as still in limbo really so many years on. My little girl is 5 in May. She has a diagnosed language disorder now she is awaiting assessment for autism but I don't think she's autistic. She can talk! Not age appropropriate but she was use 2/3 word senstances, can say thousands of single words & has started answering questions. It has been a long journey but we are still going! Hope all is well! @Mummylove89 I used Mr. Kuo in Birmingham if you Google his name should find info on his private clinic xx

@Dad1907 could you please tell me what was your LOs understanding skills like , did he understand your commands when he was 2yr old !??

He did follow simple commands At 2.. hope that helps!

Wow this message has been amazing for me to read rather than the doom and gloom of “if your child is not doing this there’s something wrong”
I’ve been in a crazy head space with my daughter. She was born 5 week’s premature. She’s currently not pointing; waving or really talking - she says a couple of words but not in context. However I don’t think she’s autistic as she claps, good eye contact, does answer to her name but only when she wants to! plays peekaboo, can do the actions of nursery rhymes and she leads me to what she wants to will bring me things she wants. However she is very behind her peers in terms of receptive language and communication. I have been sitting here on google thinking well it must be autism then as nothing else seems to be an option until I came across this thread! This is exactly how my daughter is and my mum gut is screaming communication delay!! Thank you for keeping the updates coming and to the dad with the son - this has really helped me today and I loved reading all about your amazing children! :)

Hi, my 21 month old has been very active since birth, but since he skipped the landmark of recognising his name and both of us parents by 15 months, we got worried and gave sometime, but now he has crossed the age of speaking milestone too and hasn’t spoken a single word, we have a elder son and we never compared his growth to the younger one until now, the younger one was exposed to cocomelon since birth and was glued to TV for hours. Now we are worried as he has poor eye contact, no spoken words only some blabbers, he brings tumbler if he is thirsty but no pointing, no waving or anything. Though he loves to play peek-a-boo passively, smiles at us when we play with him, walks properly and climbs the chair and bed easily, anyone who has seen similar behaviour in the children and they came out perfectly normal, or should we start worrying deeply ?

My 21 month old has several things we are worried about but wanted some one to share their part of story, I am sure we are not alone facing this.

1.) He doesn’t speak a single word
2.) Doesn’t point at things or body parts
3.) He has poor eye contact
4.) Doesn’t respond to his name
5.) Doesn’t jump

but
1.) Smiles when we smile at him
2.) Listen to us when we sing songs
3.) Laughs and enjoy when thrown in air or hugged and kissed
4.) Doesn’t mind being in public

google shows us all the frightening results but have read many people saying their kid suddenly caught up and was doing well by 2.5-3 years of age, if any one reading this has a child who has passed such stage please share your experience, it will be of great help.

P.S: As a failed parent, we allowed him 6-7 hours of TV viewing specially cocomelon since age of 1 month or so, recently we withdrew all the screens from his schedule.

Hey, I think there’s a few things that can confuse us as parents - if we’re not seeing the action clear as day then we think they can’t do it so maybe look out for these things, just a tip:

does he respond to sounds? So if you was to make a loud bang would he turn his head to the sound? My daughter answers to her name now and then but when I call her sometimes she just looks out the corner of her eye so I know she knows but she’s just refusing to look at me as she’s busy playing.
does he do any actions to any nursery rhymes like happy and you know it?
is he babbling but just no words? Or is he quiet?

children are not expected to jump until the between the ages of 2 & 3 so that’s all ok :)

he may not be doing the things you bullet pointed but he may be doing things in different ways which is signalling he’s just on his own timeline. For instance he may not point to his nose but he may know to clap his hands to a song. The guidelines focus on very “specific” set of skills from 18 months and it makes us parents think there’s something wrong if there not doing it.. but they could be displaying them behaviours but in different ways and in that case I would say he is on his own timeline like my daughter! Hope this helps :)

He doesn’t react to his name but replies when we whistle. He doesn’t clap, nor points at things he want.

there are people in the forum somewhere, who had similar experiences and have different outcomes as the child grew. I just wanted to check if someone has exactly the same situation with their little ones in last 2-3 years? And how are they progressing now?

Fatherabir
Our LO did none of the 5 things you mentioned above but does now at 26 months. Try not to go down the Google route. Hopefully a little more time is needed.

@Babynana I am from India and read this 10 minutes after waking up on a Monday. Can’t tell you how relaxed I feel to start the week now. Thanks. Will avoid google and pay more attention to my Prince.

@Fatherabir at 21 months my little boy wasn’t doing any of the five things you’ve listed. Now at 27 months he is doing them all but is still unconfident with body parts. Has only about 70 words but we are on our way. He also watched a lot of cocomelon from a young age.

@Mummylove89 its 12 midnight here in India and I got the notification over the mail about your comment, can’t tell you how asserting and happy it feels to find similar parents and their kids finally doing things we waited (waiting) for them to, bless you both. Can you please tell me the process, how things changed in 6 months (21 to 27)?

@Fatherabir

He said his first word at 22 months (beep beep). It was a slow start. About a month later we started having animal noises and then bye bye. He took a long time to wave aswell but we eventually got there. I wouldn’t say he does it a lot now to be honest though.

Pointing was very recent. He Started pointing randomly about a month ago and he’s just started to do it more and more as time as gone on. Points to show us something and sometimes to request things. I think he knows his body parts but isn’t confident at pointing at them yet. He gets abit confused. Bless him!

His eye contact used to be very poor. It is much better now. It’s getting better and better every month.

He started responding to his name around 18 months but it was very few and far between. Again I have noticed in the last 2 months that he is pretty consistent with this now.

He again has just started jumping within the last month.

A few months ago I was so worried about him but now I’m excited for the next few
months to see where he will be then

@Fatherabir to be honest I have found that a lot has happened since he turned two. He is coming along thick and fast. He seems to be saying new things all the time now or at least having ago. They are not clear words but I know what he’s saying

Same. Wondering if there was an update. My 2 year granddaughter is experiencing the same signs.

Hi @Boymum25, I hope you're well. I was wondering if you could provide me an update on your Lo? My little one is currently 20 months and he doesn't wave/point. He still smiles and laughs and babbles as well, but when I read your post I found a few similarties between our kids which is why I'm asking for an update? Mine also paces back and forth a lot and when he is not doing this, he is either busy spinning toys or playing with cars. He is literally obsessed with spinning toys or anything round to spin.

His eye contacts are OK and he does respond to his name, although not all the time. HV came to my house a few weeks ago and he made very good eye contacts with her and also responded to his name. He is good at responding to his name when strangers call him but tends to ignore me sometimes.

He won't bring his toys over to me but he does bring books over to me to read out to him and sometimes he will grab a blanket and bring that over so I can play hide and seek with him. If I go into the kitchen, he will just get up and follow me. I think these are some of the differences between my kid and yours. The bit I'm worried about is him not pointing/ waving and his obsession with spinning everything. Please kindly provide me an update on your little one? Did he eventually started pointing etc and does he still pace back and forth?

Thank you

Hi @Natashalee99!

My son is 35 months old now, 3 years at the beginning of November! He has just recently (at the end of September this year) began an early intervention nursery with specialist services and 5 other children like him. He is still completely non-verbal, no words as of yet - but he makes a whole range of new sounds these days that gives me hope that we're getting closer to speaking.

He still does not wave/point, and only every so often he'll respond to his name. He has no sense of danger, eloping at any given opportunity. Since starting nursery he has started showing an increased interest in playing, and has recently started to take my hand and lead me in and out of the living room/kitchen/garden. His eye contact is very good these days, and he's become such an affectionate little boy giving kisses, cuddles out of nowhere and whenever he feels like it. But he still doesn't seem to understand much of/anything I say to him.

Spinning, swaying, twirling, climbing, hes a major sensory seeker and I'm still really only just coming to an understanding of what that really means. We have just met with a new speech therapist and occupational therapist who will be monitoring him once a month during nursery and forming an opinion based on their analysis - he doesn't have any diagnosis just yet but we're quite confident he's autistic. I'm just following his lead now and although it's still early days, we've noticed a major improvement in him socially since beginning early intervention!

Hi @Boymum25

Thanks for the update. It's great to hear that your Lo has progressed. I'm glad that the early intervention helped him. Did you arrange that yourself through the nursery or was that arranged through the HV's?

I would have thought by now your little one would have been assessed and received the appropriate diagnosis as well. I'm surprised it's taking them this long. They usually do the developmental check up at 2 years. My little one does make lots of sound and he says mamma, dadda, paapa etc.

Just like yourself, I'm always trying to see if anyone has a toddler who is similar to mine. I guess I just want to know how he will develop in the next few years. Did your little one have any obsessive interest when he was 20 months old or did he play with toys in a unusual way?

As a mother I'm constantly worried about him. In fact, I'm due to have a baby this Tuesday. But I can't seem to focus on anything except my toddler. It's awful isn't it when you don't know what the future holds.

I'm really hoping my little one grows out of spinning objects and really starts using toys the way they should be used. Some people have advised me that this is rotational schema which is fairly normal but I don't know what it is. Either way, it's worrying.

I'm trying to keep positive as I've heard so many children displaying certain signs of autism only to then lose all those signs. My niece used to line up all her toys, she had the worst meltdowns and she was always angry and grumpy. If you ever messed up the order, she harather worst meltdown. She used to rock a lot back and forth. She also had a speech delay but she could wave and point. I'm just desperately waiting to see when my little one can start pointing/waving.

My niece is now 3 years old and she is completely different person. She engages well with kids and she no longer got any traits that she had. I'm hoping my little one starts to lose all the traits as well. I think even if he is autistic, it is probably going to be on minor end of the spectrum as he is quite alert and displays alot of normal behaviour as well with exception to spinning every object and pacing back and forth.

@Natashalee99 We were actually referred to early intervention when our initial speech therapist discharged us. She explained my son required a much more intensive approach than what her own team could provide & took details to do a handful of referrals to different specialist nurserys & the child development clinic. She advised me not to expect a successful application into the nurserys as waiting lists are so long but had a "doesn't hurt to try" approach. Also that we would hear from CDC in due course, but again that waiting lists are long and it could be up to a year of waiting. This happened around Feb/March 2023, I left the appointment baffled and feeling quite unsupported with no clear picture of where we go from there. I was shocked to receive word of a successful application to early intervention & since starting have found this programme is link directly to our newly assigned SLT & OT working through child development clinic.

I would recommend continued expression to your LO doctors, therapist (if connected). My son isn't an angry/grumpy toddler. He's fairly pleasant and happy most of the time, though his behaviours increasingly have become more apparently different to those of children we know at similar ages! He isn't a difficult child nor does he display frequent tantrums - but he is noticeably less aware of his surroundings than others his age. Eg, he still goes everywhere in his buggie as he'd walk onto a busy road if not strapped in. He has tried to climb from his moving pram. He had no real interest in any toys at all until recently starting school and becoming more interested in playing with a ball and poppet/fidget toys. He loves physical play/playing outside/running off, he spins himself a lot but not necessarily toys - he loves to swing and be in the air at any given opportunity.

I completely understand your fears and worries. I had my 2nd at the peak of my fears for my eldest and kept myself up most nights getting extremely upset and fearing the worst. I can only recommend talking with health professionals and expressing your concern. Your mind can't comprehend two right now, despite knowing you're ready to give birth! You're focused so much on your LO because that's all you know, but when baby #2 comes along, you'll find a way to focus your time, energy & worries on both of them (even if it means staying up all night). It'll come as naturally as it all did the first time round 💕

As you've highlighted, some children do grow out of it! Some kids start talking at 1, others wait a little while and some wait even longer! the fact your LO is making mama dada sounds is already great!! This is something my son hasn't done just yet, though his little brother (now 16ms) has started to say ma ma which is so nice for me (but also emphasises my eldests delays as there is 19 months between them). I expect the pointing & waving to begin eventually, we're still at a starting point of coming to an understanding of what he understands.

Unfortunately he hasn't received a diagnosis just yet, but we hope and expect to wait slightly lesser time than we've been advised it usually takes, with the help and involvement from the CDC specialists. I know it's autism, but his specific diagnosis and needs are something I'm still unsure of as we don't successfully communicate - I'm still guessing when he's hungry/thirsty/tired as he doesn't express these things either physically or verbally.

I wouldn't worry personally too much about the toy spinning as the fact he is showing any interest at all is a good thing, but I do totally get your concerns and recommend bringing them up to professionals. Sometimes you have to do this repeatedly before you find the right support. I've lost count of the amount of professionals that told me I didn't need to be concerned about my son's development to then find ourselves on the path we're on. But listen to your gut, if something doesn't sit right with you, reach out for help. It's only natural to worry as much as you have/continue to do but I hope you start to see the improvements you're hoping for very soon🙏

Hi all any updates on your DCs please? Currently down the rabbit hole myself but it's been so reassuring to read these lovely updates and would love to hear more. My DS is 21 months (22 months tomorrow) but he is currently:

• Not pointing at all (he can point but he's only done it literally a handful of times)
• Can understand a few basic requests like please hand me your dummy or go find your shoes please but doesn't often listen to them!
• Rarely responds to name
• Flaps hands when excited
• Spins a lot / paces up and down
• No words, can sometimes say uh oh, ew, cat, daddy, mama etc but not in context
• No gestures like waving or clapping (he can clap he just never does!)
• Obsessed with cars and anything that spins
• Lines up his toys
• Hand leads us everywhere

He does however have no food issues, has good eye contact, smiles and laughs lots and loves to play games like peekaboo, or chase, or joint games like taking turns to stack blocks, etc. He's a gorgeous little thing but the worry is constant and I'm so eager to hear his little voice. His hearing test came back fine and we're awaiting our HV assessment and next steps. Hopefully I can provide my own positive update in a few years!

I wrote in the post a few weeks ago and my daughter was hardly saying any words or pointing, waving etc. however in the last 3 weeks out of nowhere she exploded 40-50 words, pointing and her communication has come on leaps and bounds - me & my husband are still watching her in complete disbelief and shock. It’s like she woke up one morning with a whole new skill set! Still not waving and still behind her peers but looking like this is the start to her communication and verbal journey!

Wow @KTA2016 that's amazing! How old was she when she suddenly started with communicating? It feels so far away here still