i heard a dad describe his dd as "not the birghtest button"

[FluffyMummy123]

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I have sometimes told people that DD2 was a really ugly baby. She was! I loved her from the moment I saw her, but she was not, objectively beautiful.

It amazes (and amuses) me how shocked people are when I tell the truth.

I wouldn't express a view like that in earshot of a child who knew what I was talking about. But out of earshot, why not?

I think this is good and a healthy attitude. On the whole.

I mean it could work to limit the child - self-fulfilling prophecies and all that - but it could lead to a more well-adjusted and happy child.

Although of course mine combine being stupendously clever with remarkably beautiful, massively musical and superbly sporty.

MIne aren't the brightest buttons either

And?

Dioesn't matter a jot

not to me anyhow

just a fact

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Oh so not grounded and loving, more putting down and scornful?

Not nice.

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My son is fantastic. Funny, loving, happy, confident, a real stunner to look at.

ATM he isn't above average. He isn't even average in class. But he is smashing. I love him for who he is. Not for where he sits on an IQ chart.

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Would never say anything negative in front of him tho

But I'll admit he isn't super bright. Or even bright. Or even average.

Does this make me a minority on MN???

Applauds MB

Me too. I mean about mine. I mean of course I am sure I would be about yours too. Was only joking earlier.

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I think that in the greater scheme of things being a nice person (honest, reliable, friendly, happy etc etc) is probably more helpful in the long run than just being super smart.

Great if you can manage to have a child who is both, but if I had to pick, I'd pick nice over smart.

I've taught kids who haven't been the sharpest pencils in the box, but they were stunning people and will probably go on to live happy, fullfied lives

What's wrong with that? I'm very happy to describe one of mine as not especially academis whilst extolling his many other virtues. I can't bear this current trend to everyone promoting their children as being brilliant at everything.

Far too many people have a very over inflated view of their children's abilities and the more often they are told little Johnny isn't God's gift to the planet but actually can be quite a naughty stupid boy the better (not in front of the child of course).

'sandwich short of a picnic' is one i heard the other day.

Better than 'thick as shit' i suppose!!

I agree it is refreshingly honest,beats soeone going on about their child being so forward when they are actually decidedly average.

Smith I said exactly the same about my dd along with 'are you sure shes mine!!

the thing is, i see/hear some of these people going on about their kids' achievements, and pushing pushing PUSHING them all the bloody time - they don't seem to just stop and enjoy their children - warts and all.
just don't geddit!

when I was still a student I saw a little girl and her brother ambling along the street laughing and gently mucking about (aged around 6 and 7). Their father walking behind them said

"If you don't stop mucking about I'll kick your arse until your nose bleeds"

I have never forgotten those words and the fear on the children's faces.

I turned and looked at the father in shock and he shouted at me " you don't understand you''ve not got kids"

but I do have kids now and I still don't understand that.

i was in a supermarket many moons ago, and in the next aisle a baby was really going for it - this silly old git turned to me, and with a conspiratorial wink said "needs a bloody good hiding........."
i was only 19 or so, but was so shocked and appalled i snapped "so, see a lot of your kids, these days, eh? i bet not."

Was in a family planning clinic discussing contraception with a lass and asked her if she was planning more kids. She said "No" then looked at her poor 3 year old dd and said "I never even wanted her in the first place".

Made me feel so very sad. Poor little girl.

I like the realism. Fed up with everyone thinking their children are G&T.
DS isn't. I am pretty sure he is completely average. Just like me. I was a 'B' grader. And I had to work hard to get it. And I am totally comfortable with that. Thus I am totally comfortable, with suspecting that ds is the same.
Would not say it infont of him though.

I've listened to the two extremes this week. On Wednesday morning a friend of mine brought another woman round for coffee and the woman (not a livewire) droned on about her child prodigy for 30 solid minutes. Now I am sure that the child in question is bright - his father is a former classmate of mine and he's a McKinsey-private equity type - but I don't think the mother is doing herself or her son any favours by advertising her child's abilities unprompted to all and sundry.

Then yesterday I had a coffee with a friend whose daughter (4) is a year above mine at school. My friend was talking about her daughter saying things like - well, I don't want to push her too much, I'm sure she won't be very bright etc. This is ridiculous - the little girl's genetic heritage is just as good, if not better, as that of the little boy of the previous day (the father is a hot-shot partner in an American law firm and the mother has a perfectly respectable degree from a good university) and the mother is projecting her insecurities upon her child and limiting her horizons.

Best just to not say too much either way.

As a kid i can remember my mum smacking my legs with every word she said ie what, smack, have, smack, i, smack, told, smack, you, smack!!!!

Spitting on her hanky and wiping my face!!!

Didnt feel unloved, just wished she could have spoke in sentences!!!!!!