Headmaster has mentioned "mild Aspergers tendencies" with regard to dd1

[TooTicky]

Not sure what to think.

How massive for you TooTicky, are you all right? Was it vaguely in your mind anyway, or is it a bolt from the blue?

Have a (((((((((hug)))))))))) from me, anyway. I understand how it feels, as it happens, something similar is afoot with ds1 at the moment.

How are you feeling about it?

I would want to know what qualifications the Head has for making such a diagnosis. He would be better just describing her behaviour rather than putting a label on it, imo.

Oh bloody hell, I am crap at this namechanging lark it's Greensleeves!

GS, that is quite a severe name!!

Head hasn't diagnosed, just mentioned possibilities. I'd been sort of wondering myself anyway.

She is super bright (recently auditioned for junior mastermind), has incredible memory, excellent at maths, walks on her toes and has real problems with social skills.

I don't know how I feel. It seems there will be a paed referral after the summer.

GS. Get him assessed otherwise you're going to oscillate around all over the place. Only a detailed assessment will give you the answers. They don't dx unless the child ticks all the boxes (had that from the mouth of a local pead- she saw it as a big problem- what to do with the children who didn't tick every box and so couldn't be dxed).

I'd really advise you to do it via the CDC/developmental paed rather than CAHMS if you can (which means you need to get to the CDC whilst he's still a pre-schooler- although areas do differ).

oh sorry misread. Apologies tooticky/GS. Same advice about getting an assesment but you may be forced into CAHMS! Once the suggestion is made unless you know its barking (and head do do that sometimes) I'd always say get the assement. I don't think misdx is a big problem in the UK- underdx is a bigger one.

She is 10 btw.

Have a read of Claire Sainsbury Martian in the Playground. She has AS (dxed after school), got a 1st from Oxford iirc, and interviewed a lot of people with AS about their time at school. It might help you decide whether your dd needs a dx (if indeed she does have AS), and how she's coping compared to the stories in there.

Too Ticky, The Head at my DS's school said the same thing. Psycologist diasagreed.

A diagnosis will make no difference, but may get them extra support in school.

Thanks gess, that sounds like an interesting book.

MrsS, I'm really unsure about the diagnosis thing. Concerned about labelling. And how on earth I'd explain it to her - after all, she is a v. bright 10yo!

Will she manage at high school without a 'label', or will it help her?

Thanks DS. She does lack academically similar peers. The person she gets on with best, casually, is a v. bright year 6 boy. She is year 5.
The headmaster is brilliant. Anxious to do things properly, and didn't mention AS until I had hinted in that direction. He has arranged for her to attend G&T courses this year which she has thoroughly enjoyed.

I just want her to be happy and have friends. There have been BIG friendship/exclusion problems, but lovely head has helped calm things down. However, dd1 is not always easy to get along with.

I've come aross very bright (academically) adults who were independent (married, kids etc) who have gone onto receive AS diagnosis and then been incredibly angry that parents did not follow up on concerns durng their childhood (often unfairly I think for various reasons). The sense of 'this is who I am' seemed to be imprtant for some. So if there are concerns I think it can be worth investigating.

Luke Jackson's book Freaks Geeks and Asperegers syndrome written when he was a teenager is a good useful read and goes into the whole dx thing from the point of view of a teen with AS. Luke had significant problems at school so it may not be totally relevant but worth reading I think.

I suppose it depends on how public the label is MrsS. But, in order to help with friendships, would it have to be generally known? For people to make allowances?

I will look for both of those books at the library tomorrow gess.

Ooh, have you heard anything yet? We were told "sometime in July" and poor dd1 is on tenterhooks.

I made a point of asking if they would give us a definite yes or no, and they said they would. So we're still hoping... audition was end of May.

Mind you, the post is very slow atm.

Thanks. She does see any social problems very much as other people's problems. She does get immensely awkward when shy though, and will admit that.