I'm so scared about autism - please help.

[chillyigloo]

My daughter is 7 months old.

She doesn't make eye contact at all when being held or up close with anyone, however from a few feet away will make good eye contact and smile at anyone.

Also, she doesn't respond to voices at all. I know her hearing is ok but I can call her name over and over without any reaction from her.

I'm so scared about autism that I'm making myself ill. I know it's too soon to get any sort of diagnosis, but does anyone have experience with these traits and their child has gone on to be either autistic or not. Either way I'd like to hear about it.

Thanks in anticipation,
A very tearful Mummy!

chilly but you don't even have any reason to think that. yes I know exactly what it feels like as I had 18 months of it with both ds2 and ds3 who were at a very high risk of developing autism. And even higher risk (something like 1 in 4) of there being some sort of speech and langauge disorder.

It is possible to get a handle on that fear. But you have to be active about it. Talk to your GP & HV, set aside an age by which you will seek help if your baby isn't doing x (pointing by 18 months is a good one). Buy the babytalk book I linked to earlier, it's what they would get you do if there was anything wrong anyway. Agree with Eulalia as well.

I must seem like a fool! I'm so lucky to have her and I'm worrying about a problem that she a) might not have and b) wouldn't be a problem really if she did.

I think I'm a case of knowing too much and knowing too little at the same time.

I'm trying to get a grip of myslef and stop being so darn scared. I truly am. But it's hard ...

You're a mum, that's what we do! If we're not worrying about one thing we're worrying about another.

hi chilly igloo

i havent got much to say...but i posted a couple of days ago and wondered how you were doing....so caught up on the thread.

its good that you can soothe her when she's restless

ooh!! quite typically i have just thought of something to say!!... that might help you take the edge of your anxiety?...you could try and concentrate on a non baby topic or activity that you enjoy/ed....play old CDs or whatever..switch off a little...or at least change channel

that your worry consumes you completely is familiar to me (i have verged on that sort of thing at times myself...espesh at around 6-7 months when i was for some reason still exhausted by having a baby)..but i found the answer was to look outwards rather than inwards...if you see what i mean?

oh and....No more 'testing' her chilly igloo!!(waggles finger)...just dont let yourself do it...it's likely to make you feel worse and worse.

top of the morning to you!
BOT x

chillyigloo I do know what you mean about the fear of waiting for a dx- ds3 has no formal dx, PAed says she's 75% certain ASD but it could be something else (what I'm not sure, nobody has gone into this!)

HOWEVER I do thin that in order to worry about a dx you need symptoms and medical grounds really, if you don't have those then its a flag for PND. or just general depression, and I think you should tell your HV about your fears in just the way you have told MN

Oh and it reasonable to be afraid of ASD- it can present a whole life change for the entire family, sometimes I wonder if HFA kids get ti ahrder themselves than those further along simply because they sem to have a bigger awareness of what they're missng out on- but its pure wondering, who really knows what a child or adult with severe ASD is thinking? but it does mean changes for the family- eg if DS3 goes to Sn school it puts my PGCE in jeopardy for basic organisational reasons- but you know, you mourn, deal, pick up and get on with it. Its not a life sentence, by any means.

Agree with Peachy's post about depression.

Peachy - I came across an interesting blog entry about that the other day- written by someone I think dxed as severely autistic (either was or still is non verbal) and she said that she thought that wasn't true- it's just that unhappiness and for e.g. suicide attempts in those severely affected weren't recognised as such and were instead classified as accidents.

sorry for hijack, but Peachy- here A fascinating blog

It is very difficult to guage understanding when as she says in the blog the communication method being used is hard to understand. I remember ds1 once trying to tell me something, I couldn't understand at all, and frustrated cuddled him and said quite gently " it would be so much easier if you could talk" and he started howling, howling and howling, tears were streaming down his face and he literally clung to me. I've rather assumed since then that he is very aware of his condition.

Sad but interesting gess, thanks.

DS3 just seems so happy, you know? whether its because he's been mollycoddled I dont know. His alnguage is coming on, but theres zero of the introspective expressive stuff- none of the im hungry / ill / cold / hot stuff, you know? Just like mummy wake up / in car (as we get in) etc

Am well aware that ds1 hates his ASD, tells me enough . Completrely expect him to end up with severe depression, given dh's history and all.