PLease help!!! How do I get my son to poo on the toilet and not save it for his nappy at night?

[muppetgirl]

Good god!!
Advice needed please.
my ds 3.3 is fantastic at wees and does them all by himself but the bl**dy poos are doing my head in?!?!?!?!

He was quite good at pooing on the toilet and then moved classes at nursery to where (i have since found out but wasn't initially told) that the ch (all 3) go to the toilet by themselves unless they ask for help!!! (Out of classroom over corridor and toilets in a block not in shouting distance)

Since then he has hardly done any poos on the toilet....

We have tried

1. Nicely nicely 2.Harry the frog toilet seat
2. Bribary
3. Sricker charts (He couldn't give a stuff!)
4. Good mum/ bad dad & good dad/bad mum
5. Going balistic (when he announced he had pooed his pants and then burts out laughing...)

He can speak the speak ('Big boys poo on the toilet, babies poo in their nappies....')

But WILL NOT POO ON THE TOILET CONSISTENTLY BUT SAVES IT FOR HIS NAPPY. [ANGRY]

We've been at this since summer last year.

Leave him alone if this works for him at this point. As long as it's not causing him to be constipated then I wouldn't bother him about it. As he gets a bit more confidence he will go back to going to the toilet.

Also let the teacher know that it's causing a problem at home and ask if he can be helped for a while.

Thanks
We did speak to the teacher and for a couple of weeks he was better but then went back to the saving it for his nappy situation.

Give him a sweet for every time he poos in the loo. Keep them on a high shelf where he can see them perhaps.

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Ucm thanks I have a clear coffe jar that i can fill with sweets that he can see.

...he refuses the potty (and did quite early on as 'potty's are for babies.')

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I have been there and got the T-shirt!

When DS1 was, erm, 4, he had never done his in the loo. No amount of cajoling/coaxing/promising/threatening had worked and I was at the end of my tether (and so embarrassed).

Whilst at the GPs, I asked for advice on this, and night-time training. The GP looked suitably appalled. He advised tackling the pooing issue first, which I found confusing - since I had been trying, and it only meant that he would wait for his bedtime nappy. However, GP then told me with a smirk, that DS had got me round his little finger.

I was and v v v but I realised he was right - so when I got home, I (literally) chucked every nappy out of the house, and told DS that the doc had said he was too old for them (nearly true).

Anyway, am happy to report, that in my case, this worked. DS1 has never worn a nappy since; was dry at night from that day onwards; and despite having had constipation problems in the past, started using the loo straight away.

Good luck in whichever way you tackle it, Muppetgirl... I know how it feels.

(but now I have DS2 who only wants to do it in his nappy - but he's only 2.7 so I suppose it's early days.....here we go again!)

Thanks Mrs Cellophane
Can I ask when should a child be dry at night?
(I know everyones different but he starts school next year and we've been at this a year already!?!)

I think you hit the nail on the head with "they're all different".. so not sure. I do know, however, that at 4+, DS felt to be v late, compared to his peers. (which felt like added pressure to me)

We did hold him over a potty at our bedtime for the first few nights, but he often didn't do anything, so just him sleep thru' after that.
HTH

just let him

My children being dry at night has ranged from just 2years old to one who was almost 9years old. They are ready when they are ready.

Similar problems here with dd the same age.She was using the potty in kitchen fine then HV said i should move it to the bathroom (upstairs) upon which she regressed to doing it in the nappy again.
I am very tempted by the just throwing nappies away method tbh and hope for the best.
Just a thought do you think your son may have got into the habbit of 'going' at night so that is now his regular time iyswim.Or does he seem to need the toilet earlier but wont go due to having no nappy on?
Sorry i've no advice lets hope someone comes along and advises us soon.If nothing else my little girl will soon not be so little and the nappies wont even fit.

Squattchette - forgive my hijacking your question aimed at Muppetgirl; but FYI, my DS was literally waiting for his nappy (yes, he probably got into a routine too, but no amount of stalling in putting it on helped). I remember once, he needed it sooner and I refused to put him a nappy on - so he put it on himself!

Muppetgirl, I think I started a similar thread a year ago myself!1 DS1 was fine for wees almost straight away, but it took a long long time to get his poos sorted! Every single night without fail, within ten minutes of going to bed he'd be out shouting he done a poo!! I got very stressed with it all, didn't deal with him very well, but almost the day I decided to leave it and not go on to him about it, he sorted it out!!

He's 4.2 now but still not showing any signs at all of being dry on a night. I'm not going to get worked up about it and just hope it will happen soon!!

In the nicest possible way, do you think there's any incentive to be dry at night, if they're wearing nappies? Do you think it really affects them if they do wee - or they even feel it much? (so you know I'm not finger-pointing, really wondering?)

Just had a chat with dh and we think we're going to go for the 'throw the nappies away' approach. We made the decision that we are going to buy him a new bed so this seems the opportune time as although he has a plastic sheet any accidents won't really be the end of the world.

I think you're right about the 'being round his little finger' as he used to do an almost haka (think maori dance) movement and appropriate arrggghhhh in order to keep it in. No matter of cajoling would move him to go to the toilet.

I think he has trained his body.....

I can assure you that my nearly 9 year old had not been wearing nappies for a many a year but still wet the bed. Also, my children have/had cloth nappies so would feel when they were wet. Made no difference to the ones who were dry later.

Good luck with the 'throw the nappies away' approach.

Do you know mrs cellophane it's strange that we all come to the same conclusion during the day -well, if they can't feel it why would they go to the toilet? SO we take the nappy away during the day, put them in pants and after a couple of uncomfortable accidents, they learn it's better to go to the toilet.

Why did I never think the same should apply to night time?

Fair enough Juuule, thanks. I feel to have little experience in this, as I was so lucky in that DS was fine from night 1. Fingers crossed for DS2! Just wish he'd sit on his potty more!

muppetgirl - is it because we know we can change undies/clothes easily during the day whereas a night-time accident means dragging ourselves away from a cosy bed half-asleep to change sheets?

Got to go and make up with DH now (is feeling ignored)... let me know how you get on, MG? Good luck.