Do you expect your child to tidy up after a playdate?

[Earlybird]

DD (almost 6.5) is in the process of moaning loudly as I have asked her to tidy up (without my help) following a particularly messy playdate. She feels hard done by as the mess was made by two children, but the other has now gone home.

Do you expect your child to tidy up after a playdate, and from what age?

Yes. My daughter is 3.7 and I expect her to at least try to help to tidy up her mess when she goes on playdates, equally when she has friends over, I expect them to help tidy up too - even if it is tokenistic. It is polite, I feel.

Actually, I would expect whoever had been playing to tidy up. Unfair to just ask one.

What's wrong with being a dragon??!

My ds is 3.3 and I expect him to tidy up when we've been round friends houses (i do help) but then i do expect him to tidy his toys away in our living room (not his bedroom just yet which looks like it has been trashed most of the time!!) which is really just a matter of putting toys in boxes back behind sofa so really not that big a deal.

When we have friends round i don't expect them to tidy (i know i'm strange...) I've always said to ds 'we chose to do things this way but other people may be different....' about many things -coco pops for breakfast, dummies in the mouths of 4-5 years old etc.

I just try to teach him how to be a good house without expecting that everyone else will be...

...sorry that should read 'good house guest '

no never

?

no I never expect dd1 or dd2 to tidy

although I do ask them to help me

sometimes they do sometimes they don't

I tried making them tidy... but found that my own DC would end up shouting at their guests -- "No! don't get that out! don't get that out!" etc. Degenerating into tears and major conflict. Because the guests always wanted to play with something DC didn't like so much, and dc didn't want to have to tidy later. It just added tension and arguments to playdates, no point in having a playdate at all if that's how it had to go.

Can only think of one local mum who I think asks her DC to tidy post playdates.

This thread has made me realise a lot depends on the personlaity of your child... Some friends children I know tantrum over tidying and this
IS NO REFLECTION ON THE PARENTING STYLE ADOPTED BY THE PARENT AND THE PARENTS DO NOT NEED TO TAKE OFFENCE.

Sorry, just didn;t want anyone to think I was critcising them.

I have changed my opinion by reading something on mn.........
good god, that is a rarity!

no i don't make guests tidy full stop.

i expect at least a token effort from dcs.

i also enforce pre-playdate cake making.

No I just do it but am way too laid back for my own good. Kids tidy sometimes when they're not tired. They even wash up if they're in the mood. I'm quite untidy to be honest so not a good role model although have very relaxed kids.