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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do you expect your child to tidy up after a playdate?

39 replies

Earlybird · 28/06/2007 18:30

DD (almost 6.5) is in the process of moaning loudly as I have asked her to tidy up (without my help) following a particularly messy playdate. She feels hard done by as the mess was made by two children, but the other has now gone home.

Do you expect your child to tidy up after a playdate, and from what age?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CaptainUnderpants · 28/06/2007 18:38

Yes, but I expect the child who has come to help out aswell, as usually it is them who has made the mess by exploring every toy and box in the playroom / bedroom.

My DS is same age as yours.

Tortington · 28/06/2007 18:39

iw ould have asked them both to do it -s ems unfair to me

NoodleStroodle · 28/06/2007 18:39

I see at as a joint venture between me and DC although if it really is getting messy I tell DC to put something away before getting out next thing..

jenkel · 28/06/2007 18:41

Agree, I would get them both to tidy up before home time and I would expect others to get my dd to tidy up when she is on a playdate.

NoodleStroodle · 28/06/2007 18:42

Do you ask your guests to load the dishwasher, wash up the pots and launder their npakins after they have been around for a dinner party?

CaptainUnderpants · 28/06/2007 18:43

But your dinner guest dont trash the house , or do they ??

NoodleStroodle · 28/06/2007 18:44

Well sometimes....

It's part of being a hostess - clearing up after your guests but DC should be taught to clear up at friends as then they become perfect guests...

CaptainUnderpants · 28/06/2007 18:45

I aint no hostess when kids come round on a playdate

Twiglett · 28/06/2007 18:46

I expect all children on the playdate to help tidy up

maybe not all of it but to give a good go of putting things away

I agree with DD that it is totally unfair to ask her to do it alone after the other child has gone .. and if I miss the opportunity to get his friends to help then I will mainly do it myself or ask DS and DD to help me

NoodleStroodle · 28/06/2007 18:46

No I meant DC being host/hostess!!!

FluffyMummy123 · 28/06/2007 18:46

Message withdrawn

CaptainUnderpants · 28/06/2007 18:50

Well i think its part of the learning process for them , give them some responsibilty and respect for others peoples homes etc etc

Original poster

Earlybird · 28/06/2007 18:56

Hmmm - well yes, another child probably will do a bad job because they don't know where things go, and also don't really care.

The guest today might have helped, but her mum arrived earlier than expected (and in a taxi as her car is at the mechanic's), so no chance to make the request.

Maybe a bit mean of me to ask dd to do it on her own, but tbh both children were so overtired/grumpy that the playdate was an ordeal for me...spent the whole time mediating disagreements while trying to cook tea for them.

OP posts:

CaptainUnderpants · 28/06/2007 19:03

Dont you just hate it when playdates turn out like that .

Original poster

Earlybird · 28/06/2007 19:15

Yes, it was a trying time. At one point both girls were in tears with guest whining 'but I'm the guest' and dd whinging 'but I don't want to give her one of my jewels' (shiny bits of plastic and dd has about 2 dozen of them). At another point, guest was hiding behind the curtains sobbing 'I want to go home', while dd wailed in her room.

Eventually they settled down........and then started being rude and cheeky to me. (Recent development: DD seems to go deaf to any adult requests/instructions, and becomes quite disrespectful to me when around friends) Not fun.

OP posts:

onlyWotzadodar · 28/06/2007 19:18

Yes I do ask if they can leave it tidy and I help (not much but show willing) too.

SoupDragon · 28/06/2007 19:19

If the mess was done by both and the guest had gone home I would help.

VoluptuaGoodshag · 28/06/2007 19:21

I try to do a little bit and ask my kids to do the same but only because I want them to grow up learning that it's a nice polite thing to do (and hopefully the more they learn to tidy the less I have to do it) but I don't expect others to tidy up at mine.

Hallgerda · 28/06/2007 21:09

Yes, from the age of five or so. However, I would allow my children to choose which friends to invite. They can then decide not to invite so-called friends who leave the house in a mess (or leave a train of breakages or emotional devastation). I'd give a ten-minute warning in order to give the visitor a reasonable opportunity to help.

Dinosaur · 28/06/2007 21:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

KbearBrockovich · 28/06/2007 21:13

I always factor in ten minutes tidy up time before the little darlings go home - everyone is expected to pitch in! I find the girls don't mind but the boys look at me like I am quite mad (which may well be the case but everyone tidies up that is the rule!)

Hallgerda · 28/06/2007 21:14

I have to admit the garden comes in handy, dinosaur... .

gess · 28/06/2007 21:15

Nope I don't. DS2 is 5.

brimfull · 28/06/2007 21:16

SOmetimes I just want them to go home and not prolong the agony,depends on child actually.

Had two boys last week,they trashed the house!

Rachmumoftwo · 28/06/2007 21:29

I expect both my children and their guests to at least have a go at tidying up. They won't do it as well or quickly as me, but it is useful for them to learn. They have to help at nursery and school, so why not at home?

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