What time should an 8 year go to bed?

[bassoongirl]

Not used Mumsnet before so here goes:

My eight year old goes to bed at 8pm and is allowed to read until 8.30pm. He then spends the next two hours calling us up stairs for various reasons - usually to tell us that he can't sleep. Have tried ignoring him but he stands at the top of the stairs and the bangs bannister etc. Perhaps we are sending him to bed too early but we need to have some evening time ourselves - I don't think we are being selfish. Any tips? Thanks.

How awful for you - I need my evenings! I'd say 8/8.30 is about right. Perhaps you could persuade him to stay in his room and do something quiet rather than come down and he might drop off sooner? Maybe a reward for not coming downstairs?

No, he's not tired in the am - gets up at 6.30 most mornings!
Not the sort of child that will stay in his room and play - he quite intelligent and has so many questions!!

Sounds about right time to me. My ds2 is 7 and goes at 8-8.30. DS1 goes at the same too and he is 10! He listenes to his MP3 for a bit though.

It just winds me up so much. Can't relax in the evening cos i know he's going to get up. End up shouting at him and then feel bad cos he's gone to sleep with me being cross with him.

If you go out does he behave the same way with the babysitter?

sounds righ t to me.

depends how well he knows them. When he stayed at my parents recently he didn't do it. Our 6 year old daughter being a pain some eves aswell now. Aaaaarrrgggghhh!

Mine goes between 7 and 7.30

Depending on how early I get him into bed, lights go off at 7.30, 7.45 or 8pm at the latest.

8.30 is a late night chez VSS.

why don't you read to him for 15 -20 mins if you go up at 8.15 and then lights out by 8.45. Just a few nights.

we do have a reading session most eves although these days he reads to himself whilst my daughter reads to me. Perhaps i need to start actually reading to him again - always used to. Think he is just lying in bed with lots of thoughts and ideas whizzing round in his head. He can't switch off.

Sometimes you forget that they still want the story time, especially if he can hear younger sister reading to you.

If he didn't do it at your parents, it might just be that he likes the attention you're giving him.
Definitely think you should read to him. Also, what about letting him listen to music or a talking book?

Maybe you could try reading something that he'd enjoy but that he might find difficult to read on his own; something like Lord of the Rings, maybe? It could be read as a serial, for half an hour each night. I don't know if it would help him settle down more quickly, but at least it might be a nice time for both of you to spend together.

Been sitting here thinking about it all and I reckon I just put to much pressure on him to go to sleep. We dont have our dinner until they've gone to bed and I always hungry and grumpy by then. Perhaps some actual quality time at bed time with him will make him feel more relaxed. He's a great son the rest of the time. Will try reading to him, talking books and music. Thanks for listening.

bassoongirl its a tricky age to juggly with eating an bedtime.

I feed mine about 7- 7.30pm and try to eat with them, so I can spend that extra time later.

You have to re-think routines as they get older. Sounds simple, but not at the time.

Yeah, you're right. Time to have a re-think. Husband doesn't get back from work til after 7pm which is also tricky to work round. Do yours not find it difficult to settle if they've eaten dinner that late?

8yrs and 10yrs, eat at anytime from 6.30 and maybe finish by 7.30 latest.

8yr old up at 8.15 and 10 up at 9pm. Go earlier of they want a story or need a chat.

School days up by 7.30 am.

Also if you are feeding him early he might be hungry again?

Could be. I never seem to be able to get enough food into him anyway.

Mine come home and have cereal or fruit (sometimes buscuits, don't tell), and then not allowed anything from 5pm till dinner, so they are hungry. It works, you just have to try a few ways, experiment at the weekend.

My DCs 8 & 7 would be eating their arms off if I didn't feed them until 7.00pm!

After dinner at 5.15pm they have free time until I get home then we spend time together before bedtime at 7.30pm (but nearer to 8.00pm on light evenings) DD 8 gets 15 minutes extra to read then lights out and sleep.

DD wondered into this room about 8.50pm saying she couldn't sleep so I checked she had some water, plumped up her pillow and asked her nicely to return to bed and shut her eyes. I don't engage her in conversation and just reiterate it's bedtime and I need some Mummy time.

Shouting just gives them and us busy heads. Take a deep breathe and create a new firm bedtime routine and stick to it (then the odd evening they stay up later they appreciate it).. lol it all sounds so easy but it's always been the same in this household. My evenings are precious to me.

We also firm by fair bedtimes chez Kaloo

(misbehaviour loses 10 minutes off bedtime)

Will try eating together and later - would be nice for us to sit down as a family for a meal during the week anyway - means I don't have to cook 2/3 in the evenings aswell.
Thanks for your help.

I always think back to my childhood days. I was always in bed before coronation street started. I didn't go to sleep - would read under the cover with my torch . Wouldn't dare hassle my parents tho!

bassoongirl I agree it is nice to all eat together and I don't have 2 meals and 2 lots of washing up to do. They help with the cooking (sometimes) and always lay the table and its part of our together time.