Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Please come and tell me if you think this is normal, if not common, behaviour

32 replies

Pruners · 18/06/2007 10:20

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

colditz · 18/06/2007 10:22

I think, actually, that it is good he can verbalise his anger in this way. My ds1 could and can NOT and he lashes out at the other kids.

I find their little rants amusing and sweet actually but I would ever let on

colditz · 18/06/2007 10:22

It'd normal though, I hear a lot of kids doing it. Especially boys

Pesha · 18/06/2007 10:30

I agree its more a boy thing colditz.
DS1 is 3.10 and very similar, threatens to 'yup' people (his word for punching, comes from play fighting ith daddy!), stomps around, clenches fists and gets very angry.

HonoriaGlossop · 18/06/2007 10:31

colditz, I can't disprove you theory, my DS does this. He is a champion ranter and has told me to get out of the (moving) car and get run over amongst other things.

I think it's very normal and I agree, venting with words is a GOOD skill to have. I don't think you need do anything, pruners, except congratulate yourself that your ds feels safe to let his frustrations out.

The thing I did sometimes is walk away; just calmly saying "I don't talk to you like that, I won't with you if you're just going to say nasty things to me. Come and see me when you can be nice to me" etc etc.

HonoriaGlossop · 18/06/2007 10:33

oh meant to say of course if I walked away he would simply follow me and continue to rant but I felt I had made my point and I'd get on with the washing up or something!

Anna8888 · 18/06/2007 10:34

Much, much better to verbalise anger than to repress it or take it out physically . You're definitely doing something right.

Boco · 18/06/2007 10:35

He sounds great! How lovely that a 3 year old can explain his anger so creatively - alot of three year olds might show it by having a tantrum or being destructive - i think its a good thing he can express it so well.

DD1 does this, she just takes everything to total extreme - 'if i can't do this then i'm so angry that i will never ever leave the house again, i will stay in my room until i am an old lady and my legs have shrivelled and turned into rotting thumbs!' - was a recent delight.

Oblomov · 18/06/2007 10:37

Do not worry, I think it is pretty normal too. Ds (3.5) seems to struggle to express anger - we have taught him to say "sugar" and he does walk about punching and pretending to fire a gun - which I think is a bit young - but what can I do.

Atleast he is explaining that he is ... angry , frustrated etc - atleast it gives you some idea of how he is feeling.

Maybe you could teach him cunning ways to outwit the the other boy at nursery

REIDmylips · 18/06/2007 10:39

i aree that it i a good skill to have to be able to communicate his feelings. I know it is not the same thing but at school where i work (secondary school) i deal with children who get 'wound up' very easily. In lots of cases their anger comes out in the form of violence. One of the ways that this is dealt with is for them to take an 'anger management course'. Part of this involves teaching them how to express their feeling verbally (in a non prissy way iykwim)

Pupils are given a 'time out' card which allows them to just take a minute outside the classroom to calm themselves down.

By expressing his anger it seems like your ds is doing this.

Sorry to go on, i just wanted to shae my experience and hopefully make you feel a little more reassured. sorry for the waffly post.

btw my ds is 10months and already does the fist clinching and gritted teeth tantrum!

Zog · 18/06/2007 10:39

IIRC, they actually recommend you encourage your kids to do this in "How to talk..." so he's obviously been logging on and following Cod's threads without you knowing

harpsichordcuddler · 18/06/2007 10:39

very very normal pruni.
especially among boys of this age.
what to do? just listen and say, oh youare feeling very angry about that I can tell. you are feeling really angry and frustrated.
now you know we don't really so what could you do to make you feel better?

DrNortherner · 18/06/2007 10:44

Pruners I think this is normal tbh. It's just his way of expressing himself.

My ds is now 5, but when he was a similar age to your ds he used to say things like 'I'm gonna punch the house down', 'I'm gonna rip my head/hair off' and my personal favourite 'I'm gonn punch that Father Christmas in the willy'

He'll be fine.

Oblomov · 18/06/2007 10:49

Poor old father christmas's willy

Anchovy · 18/06/2007 10:49

Pruni my boy has had an almost catatonically uneventful life and devising ways of various people meeting sticky ends was a feature of about 6-8 months of his life (looking back on it it was when he was 4 - he's now 5.6 and doesn't seem to do it very much any more).

DS didn't say it in a threatening way particularly, but he was quite inventive!

My view was that it seemed to be a stage and doesn't necessarily represent particular internal chaos. (And at that stage DS had never watched anything more eventful that Thomas the Tank Engine or Thunderbirds)

Original poster

Pruners · 18/06/2007 10:52

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 18/06/2007 11:01

My ds was following me round ranting once, then all went quiet for a mo, I looked round to see where he's gone only to see him advancing back up the corridor - with a sword.

harpsichordcuddler · 18/06/2007 11:02

dd1's little friend is a fan of variations on the "I'm going to rip your head off and..." theme

e.g. I am going to rip yourhead off and stick carrots in it

It is quite alarming I agree

colditz · 18/06/2007 11:03

One little boy I know shrieked

"I am going to kick you in the EYEBALLS mummy, if you don't let me have my muffin NOW!"

normal happy child!

Original poster

Pruners · 18/06/2007 11:08

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

fillyjonk · 18/06/2007 11:10

aw pruni, YES it normal, agree its great that he's expressing it using words.

agree you need to do the whole "I can see you are very sad about x" and then talk about it. Don't push him for solutions. Don't try to get to a point where some action is taken. He probably just wants to let his feelings out and the fact he is saying this suggests that he wants to talk to yu about them

ps they are NOT rays of sunshine at 3. Their world is changing rapidly (for any kid really), anxiety/clinginess is very commmon and they have a much more complex vocabulary to express this. As do their peers. I find ds being 3 more fun than any other age but definately the most challenging.

Anchovy · 18/06/2007 11:18

Interestingly I don't think you would know about anyone else doing it as I'm pretty sure they do not do it anywhere else than home. (We had a lot of the "rip your head off and use it as lego" type stuff - don't know what it is about heads )

Ds also used to threated to turn me into dogmeat, but I think that was influenced by Wallace and Grommit.

Original poster

Pruners · 18/06/2007 11:26

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Gobbledigook · 18/06/2007 11:37

Agree with others - normal and also good that he's just saying these things rather than lashing out.

Don't boys get a testosterone surge or something around age 3-4 and that's why they get so moody and 'angsty'??

That's what someone told me anyway - I never had this with ds1 but ds2 does get quite 'angry' (he's 4).

Gobbledigook · 18/06/2007 11:37

Ha ha X posts about the 1st and 2nd child!!

Original poster

Pruners · 19/06/2007 10:43

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Flip

1 2