"Alpha mums turn parenting into a serious issue and motherhood into martyrdom, and the result is nobody has any fun"

[Twiglett]

article in sunday papers says Alpha Mum might have had her day

and that Beta Mums are raising confident happy children

well hurrah

I'm definitely a beta mum then!

How to spot an Alpha Mum

• Her children's activities timetable is more complicated than a Heathrow flight plan
• She has a copy of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families on her bookshelf
• Her nanny speaks Mandarin
• She schedules childrbirth for the right month of the school year
• She knows the exact nutritional content and GI rating of what her children eat
• She schedules sex with her husband
• SHe has a drawer with cards and presents for all occasions
• She always manages to get a front-row seat at school plays
• She serves alphabet pasta at tea, sot hat her children can practice spelling

grr wlel fgs i want to be an alpha mum.

so bog orf.
no kumon and no mandarin
btu then they dont need help with maths cos htey is good at it( depite their genes)

can they spell (despite their genes)

well yes.
i can spell C

jst not type

Internal Server Error

Oh dear I seem to be a bepha mum - half one, half the other. So does that mean I'm very organised, but lazy?

I got an internal error - hit refresh and it comes up.

bar the food on the jeans thoing I am a beta mum whatever anyone else thinks

if you go back to thedavincicod, I'll always consider you an alpha mum

does nyone else not want to be an alpha mum?
lordy

Oh I get it now! You get mentioned in the Times for providing a link so now you are a (wannabee) Alpha mum

oh i SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE8 yes geddit
nno ! htta hadnot occcured to me

Thanks LL, I noticed your link. [smarmy emoticon]

Enjoyed the article, definitely beta if not further down the pecking order here (good tip re Starbucks if only we had one between our house and school). Ds has been known to walk to school while munching on a bread roll...

Thank God!

Does this mean we can put the telly back on and get the fruit shoots out again?

pmsl

How to spot an Alpha Mum

• Her children's activities timetable is more complicated than a Heathrow flight plan. GUILTY
• She has a copy of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families on her bookshelf GUILTY
• Her nanny speaks Mandarin NOT GUILTY
• She schedules childrbirth for the right month of the school year NOT GUILTY
• She knows the exact nutritional content and GI rating of what her children eat MOSTLY GUILTY
• She schedules sex with her husband ERM GUILTY
• SHe has a drawer with cards and presents for all occasions GUILTY
• She always manages to get a front-row seat at school plays NOT GUILTY (ALTHOUGH THE INTENT IS THERE)
• She serves alphabet pasta at tea, sot hat her children can practice spelling GUILTY (Although they can spell now)

I don't want to my children to be bin men really. Not in my heart of hearts. Does that plus all the aforementioned guilty pleas make me an Alpha Mummy? Are Alpha Mummies bad people?

How do I redeem myself? If I don't take infants to swimming and tennis lessons, will I become socially acceptable?

I think this Alpha mum thing is just another rude way to describe mothers who are different to you

I agree with Franny, more boring inverted snobbery

I saw that. Proper alpha mothers work full time and have no time for that business. It's alpha women who are silly enough to give up good careers to become housewives and then want to make a job out of being a parent, a job that doesn't really exist.

Oh god, who left the Xenia on

Wow, being a parent isn't a job.

How to spot an Alpha Mum

• Her children's activities timetable is more complicated than a Heathrow flight plan GUILTY
• She has a copy of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families on her bookshelf NO
• Her nanny speaks Mandarin NO
• She schedules childrbirth for the right month of the school year GUILTY (well dd2 was born in Spet which is good time to start Mat leave in a a school!)
• She knows the exact nutritional content and GI rating of what her children eat NO
• She schedules sex with her husband NOT GETTING ANY
• SHe has a drawer with cards and presents for all occasions GUILTY
• She always manages to get a front-row seat at school plays GUILTY
• She serves alphabet pasta at tea, sot hat her children can practice spelling NO (Only cos its usually crap stuff!)

How to spot a Beta Mum

• you can tell what her children had for breakfast by looking at her jeans GUILTY
• SHe has been known to wear pyjamas on the school run WOULD LOVE TO BUT AM USUALLY AT WORK
• She forgets children's birthday parties GUILTY
• She gets drunk at PTA parties NO
• You can't see the floor of her car for old sweet wrappers, assorted papers and general detritus NO
• She tries to remember what sex wasl like with her husband TRYING TO REMEMBER SEX FULL STOP
• Her house is in a state of perpetual clutter GUILTY
• She has rotten fruit and bribery sweets in ehr handbag NO
• She runs out of petrol on the school run NO

So what am I then?

I am not guilty of any of the Beta indicators - I don't like this game!

Who wears pyjamas on the school run? Really? Just out of curiosity. Was giggling when I saw Xenia mounting her hobby horse but maybe this is a SAHM/WOHM divide. Someone wearing pyjamas on the school run clearly isn't dashing off to work afterwards!