Just been to a workshop at Ds's nursery and am a bit concerned now

[NuttyMuffins]

Ds is 4.6 and starts school in Sept.

When I went to his last nursery meeting, his teacher raised concerns about his lack of pencil control and interest in writing and drawing, but said they would be addressing it at nursery, getting him to do activities using the same position he needs to hold a pencil in etc.

Anyway, I went to the workshop today and various activities were set out around the room. Ds was fine with the activites that were toys to play with, and was also fine on the computer, and with the sand, water play etc, but with the drawing, writing, painting and jigsaws he just could not do it.

He painted me a picture, i asked him what it was and he said an alien, and then he just painted straight lines. I said what about his face, and he said there it is and pointed to one of the lines.

He then had a go on the blackboard. I said i'd draw a letter and he could copy, and he basically couldn't copy any of them at all, not even ones in his name.

Then he moved on to the tracing activity, anxd he had to trace a picture of a policeman. I explained what to do, and he picked up the pencil and just looked at me like he really didn't understand what I meant. I explained again and showed him and he picked up his pencil and scribbled across the whole piece of paper.

Lastly he did a jigsaw and again he just didn't seem to understand that he had to find the right piece and put it in the right place, and even when he got the right peice, he couldn't get it to fit, and this was an incredibly easy jigsaw.

I spoke to his teacher about him, and she said that really he hasn't progressed at all since she last spoke to me about it and that she had been writing his report recently and that in the area of writing, drawing etc he doesn't meet any of his targets for his age and isn't even close to meeting them. He cannot even draw shapes, he can tell you what the shape is, but cannot draw it or even copy it.
She said he is fine with recognising numbers and number work if he hasn't got to actually write the number, but letters he still struggles with, and if they ask him to write any letters he just can't.

I am now really worried that in reception he is going to be so far behind he will never catch up.

Not sure if this has already been answered re the sight test, DS had to look at pictures and say if he could see them clearly, which one out of 2 he could see better. the main bit though was done by the optician testing his eye reflexes to see where he focused i guess.

I know you are desperatly worried, you can always try and get him seen by a SENCO type person (My DS was, the conclusion was that he's just not very interested in those sort of things) but try to remember that it may just be his character and nothing untoward. Plenty of other kids are excatly like this.

Agree with tweetie. Actually here in Devon the appointment with the optician was made authomatically before school started. Ds is mildly colour blind. (they do shapes, colours, I suppose they look for short-sight, colour-blindness, squint).

Thanks all, you have been very helpful and calmed me down a bit, as I was quite upset when i left the nursery, as seeing him in that environment and to be struggling like he was, was so upsetting, although I have to say, it doesn't seem to bother him at all, except for him getting rather frustrated with the jigsaw.

Just realised he has his pre school booster next week, so can go in the health centre and speak to someone then.

I think Anna's post saying about her dd being able to do jigsaws at 2 just goes to show the HUGE range of normal.

Nutty, I really wouldn't worry. There are some children who simply are not interested in the fine motor skills, my ds was one of them! He is 4.10 and has been in reception nearly a year, and only now is he STARTING to enjoy picking up a pen etc. His drawing is still very scrappy indeed and he would just scribble if he could get away with it.

I don't think it has to be a sign of anything. Of course, it could be, and no doubt when he goes to school you will find out more.

But really, don't worry - you've had some great tips here re the playdough and stuff. Try not to let the pressure get to you; far better for your ds to do things he wants to, and enjoys; he will come to the rest in his own time. He is only four. i've read a good few threads on here where people have said their children couldn't really read or write till they suddenly 'got it' at about 7.

Ds pencil control was appaling until just 2 or 3 months ago.

jolly-ho. Well said Honoria (Fink-Nottle)

oh, what-ho, Fink-Nottle. How are those repulsive newts?

My ds was exactly the same. He couldn't write at all before he started school, and he still struggles with it now (nearly 6). His fine motor skills are awful. Now he can at least hold a pen and form letters, and he writes quite a bit (although his letters are constantly inverted, and his handwriting is dreadful). He hasn't been left behind though. He is bright and vocal () and he receives work appropriate to his overall ability. And they are working on the writing.

There's some very good advice here about improving his fine motor skills, playdough, threading beads etc.

Have his gross motor skills always been OK, ie did he have any difficulty pedalling a bike, did he trip and fall a lot, have difficulty with learning to jump? And also is his speech OK and what's he like when he sits at a table and when he eats (any problems with lumps when he went onto solids), and his concentration span generally ?

oh, and my ds goes into year one in Sept and has NEVER, not ONCE complete a jigsaw, not even a very simple one!

He's not got special needs, he's just interested in doing other things; running, jumping, swimming, role-playing....things that involve fine motor control are OUT

I'm feeling and hope you didn't think I was boasting about my DD doing jigsaws at 2. I had no idea it wasn't standard.

Nutty - pay no attention to that data point, it obviously isn't relevant.

His gross motor skills have alway been ok i think, had no problems walking, climbing etc and he can jump, hop, do start jumps (kind of lol), gambole etc.

His speech is just about right I think. My dad sometimes has trouble understanding him but no one else does. He can take a long time to tell you sxomething and will stop and start again quite alot, but his sister was/is alot like that too. He had his speech checked at 2 ish and they thought it was fine, were very impressed that he could say vacuum very clearly LOL.

Never had any probs with eating lumpy food that i can remember. Having slight problems with his food intake now, but thats not related.

Will look in the charity shops for some old jigsaws tommorow and stuff tommorow, the only ones we hve at the mo are too hard.

I hope that it is as some of you have said and that drawing, writing etc are just not his thing at the mo and that he will suddenly pick it up.

It's just so strange as his sisters are quite the opposite, paper and pens all over the house all of the time with them.

Hi NuttyMuffins. It's such a shame that our children are expected to fit into the narrow boxes of the current educational thinking. Maybe your boy does need some extra help and/or encouragement to help him to enjoy school. Possibly only an educational/development expert could tell you that.

But fwiw an educational seminar I went to in my home of NZ stressed the point that for a school start on fifth birthday there they want children to be "competent, confident learners" - their skill set doesn't matter nearly as much as their attitude to learning. So whatever you do, my advice is to try and keep things "light" with your boy.

I think people like Steve Biddulph say boys' slower development in fine motor skills is one of the reasons they shouldn't even be going to school until they are 6. Until then you can help them most by focusing on gross motor skills - i.e. lots of time at the playground, climbing etc.

My son will be 5 in August and despite drawing beautiful circles early on hasn't really progressed in the art/writing area - he certainly wouldn't be interested in tracing and can't see the point of colouring in. He also tends to scribble out any work of his he doesn't think is good (i.e. most of it). We have found the boards that you draw on and then swish the button along to wipe it off have encouraged him most to draw. Good luck.

LOL Anna, it's fine honestly. Dd1 was also a genius at jigsaws at that age

That is interesting Poppy. His nursery teacher did say that in her opinion boys are alot slower to learn than girls, and my mum also said the same of my brothers.

Will try not to worry about it anymore and just try and introduce some games that might help. I am not planning on trying to get him to write as i'd rather wait and see what school think in sept, and go along with their suggestions.

Well that all sounds good so really just his fine motor skills where he might be a little behind It might be worth mentioning to the HV when he goes for his jabs, just for your peace of mind.

I bet though doing lots of fun things to develop the muscles they use for fine motor skills bring him on no end.

I have found DD and DS are completely different (though DD does have dyspraxia), just to keep me on my toes !

Just found his red book, and he hasn't had a development check since he was just after his 2nd birthday. There is a page for a 3-31/2 yr check but he was never called for for this, so they must not do them in this area anymore.

someone once told me that as far as evolution goes, boys were not "programmed" to sit still, they were made to hunt, gather, build etc etc. girls on the other hand did all the other things, cooking, washing, sewing and staying with the babies. Makes perfect sense that way really, doesn't it? I really feel for you, I spent so many sleepless nights a year ago wondering what was going to happen.....

Does he enjoy lego? DS is a wizz at the smaller lego, which helps with fine motor skills too.

On the last day of term at nursery he bought home his work book. Other children had wonderful pictures of their family, letters and so on. I ahd 2 pages of scribbles (Is it harry enfiled who did the sketch with the artist paining a scenery and then scribbling over it with black? exactly like that!) and one dot to dot triangle that was shakey at best. Broke my heart. Not sure that I'll have more this year, but I have a note saying "love you mummy" which is more precious than anything else, and totally worth my scribbles and crap triangle!

Get him some lego, just the box full of different bits, let his immagination run wild... another example of how different children are: ds loves his lego, he builds castles, shipes, the Coloseum ( - smug emoticon- ), but it's not interested in following the instruction. His cousin, 2 months older, spent the whole afternoon following religiously the instructions to build a plane.

I think that in Denmark they start boys at school a year later than girls. I knew a Danish girl in Bulgaria and she had twins - girl and boy and the girl started at 5 and the boy at 6.

My DS was quite friendly with some little girls in nursery and their mums were friends of mine so we would go to each other's houses regularly but it got that the children just didn;t want to play the same things. The girls wanted to play school and write and colour etc and DS wanted to run around and play ball and other stuff.

Boys and girls are SO different at this age.

did I just write it's not interested?

Aw tweety, bless him.

We only have a teeny bit of lego, so will try and pick up some more, although i noticed at nursery that he gets frustrated with that too.

LOL yeah you did.