Wish I’d never had my son

[JEsther]

A delightful baby and young child. Talked early, walked early, nothing to worry about. I had one year of maternity leave, then worked part time till he was five and left nursery for a private school. His father and I separated when our son was seven. He moved to another school at about the same time, having failed to thrive at his first school. All then seemed well until he was about 13. He is now approaching 18 and the last five years of all of our lives have been sheer hell.

He's barely out of childhood and no-one in his family loves or wants him, and are quite happy to make that known to him.

Something must have had happened further back in his childhood to make him go off the rails so spectacularly, despite his professional parents and his private schooling. However if neither he nor his parents is prepared to try to resolve his issues and you hate him so much, I guess the only thing you can do is disown him completely and wait for him to end up in the criminal justice system.

To hate your 17 yr old son so much and wish they had never been born is alarming. To hate their behaviour is understandable, but surely it's worth seeking proper help to make things better.

From personal experience sounds as if he’s had a tough unbringing, feeling unloved being put in private school, parents separated, moving schools, that’s going to affect any child with emotional feelings, being a parent is hard, but we’re their Mothers and I could never give up on my son, things get hard. But we’re the person they look upto and sounds as if something has went Wrong while attending boarding school and he’s feeling unwanted and probably got involved with the wrong crowd, have you sat down and listened to his true feelings? He might be suffering from some sort of anxiety and not know how to cope

I feel sorry for him.

I don't think anyone should assume private education will mould a perfectly pleasant child. Well educated, yes, but I don't believe it can really shape their values or personality. I feel a bit frustrated for your son, even though I get that it's difficult. I remember being a similar age, acting out, and thinking that my mum hated me. It was a horrible feeling that only worsened my behaviour, and she never explicitly displayed or verbalised these feelings, so I can only imagine how your son feels. Obviously I grew out of it and still feel terrible for what I put my mum through, and I'm grateful that she was patient with me.
He's still very young and will hopefully mature into a happier, stable man for his own health's sake.