Baby draining life from me, please help!!!!!

[kentgirl1]

DS is nearly 6 months. He's been a terrible sleeper from the start, and it's getting worse and worse. For the past 2 nights he'll sleep in his cot for 15 mins, then wake up crying. I'll pick him up, he'll cry for a little bit more then settle on me, I put him back and on and on it goes. I just picked him up for what feels like the 30th time and got annoyed and shouted. I immediately felt terrible. But I just can't go on like this. He's draining the life out of me. At one point I fell asleep sitting up in bed with him, so it's not safe. Partner is sleeping in the spare room as he's working and tired too. I just don't know what to do, please help me!!!!

Last few times I've put him down, he's cried 2 mins later. I've even tried having him in bed with me but he still cries unless he's on my chest.

Have you tried:

Not picking him up straight away when he wakes, babies need to get used to settling down by themselves.

If that isn't working try the shush pat method (I'd google it).

Sometimes your partner doing it rather than you can break the cycle, he/she may be better in their own room now that they're 6 months old.

Have you tried playing white noise? It's really good for putting babies into a deep sleep it might take a few nights to get used to but it does tend to work well with unsettled babies. You could trying playing 'hoover sounds' on YouTube and see how you get on. I started when my baby girl was 3 days old now she's 5 months and won't sleep without it on lol!

Have you looked into safe co sleeping, it's the only way I got any sleep for the first 9 months ...
ps at a year he now sleeps through so it does end :-)

@underneaththeash yes I try and leave him for a little bit to settle, however he just gets more upset and then takes ages to calm him back down. He gets very upset very quickly.

@mincymoo124 yes we've also played white noise pretty much from the start. But I think he's so used to it now it doesn't help.

I know it's probably a settling issue as he only falls asleep on my chest and I have to transfer him to the cot once he's asleep. The same with naps. But I'm not sure how to get out of this rut without him crying, as that seems to make him worse.

So it's one of those nights. I can't even put him in his cot, he cries immediately. I'm getting so cross and I hate it

Have you considered silent reflux? My DD will only sleep on our chests because of her reflux, the pressure on her tummy seems to help. Whenever she's put on her back she'll scream, and if we manage to lay her on her back when she's asleep she wakes up between 2-15 minutes later.

What about a gro bag ? Maybe the bed is cooler, so the gro bag will keep your heat abit linger till you set him down?

@MoodyTwo yes he's always in a sleeping bag. Just bought 2 more today in a bigger size to see if that'll help.

@Stefkie I didn't think of that. How did you know that was the problem?

How was last night?

@Fairystepsthought a mixture. He fell asleep at 730 (after a feed) and slept till 11. I fed him and he went back to sleep until 12. I knew he wasn't hungry so didn't pick him up, and tried to settle him but sshh him and patting his chest. He finally went to sleep at 1 until 3. He woke up and then cried for over a hour. Couldn't be settled at all until I then fed him. He went back to sleep but woke up half hour later. Then every time I went to put him in his cot he cried, so I ended up with him sleeping on my chest.
In the middle of that, I had my partner shouting at me that whatever I'm doing is wrong. Not that he's read any articles or anything about how to settle a baby!!!!

@kentgirl - after a feed if I lay her down too quickly she tends to either start hiccuping quite a lot, or she'll wake up and be swallowing back a lot. She doesn't tend to bring anything out of her mouth, she swallow it all back. She'll also just wake up suddenly with a painful squeal and start crying with no obvious source, and if I pick her up she'll smell like milk sick. It's not easy to diagnose. I had to take a video of her swallowing back her sick and show it to the doctor to get them to believe me.

@Stefkie yeah sometimes I can hear liquid in his mouth. I started keeping him upright for 20 mins after a feed and that helped. But then he falls asleep on me, and I think that's the problem

We used to prop the head end of the cot up with a book under each leg to avoid ds lying totally flat, or put a pillow under the mattress at the head end to tilt him. You are exhausted, be kind to yourself. Whatever you try you must be consistent, nothing will work unless you give it a fair shot

Is he trying solid food yet? Perhaps weaning will help, he is nearly 6m

@Hohofortherobbers yes we started him this week, just some veggies at lunchtime to start with. He loves it and is very keen to eat. So hopefully that'll help.

I've just purchase a sleep programme from Little Ones and reading that tonight, it totally makes sense what's been going wrong (bad daytime naps, poor sleep associations, can't self settle etc). So I think we need some structure to get ourselves on the straight and narrow a bit more. I've resigned myself tonight might be crap, but I'm starting the programme from tomorrow so hopefully that'll help. All the baby groups are cancelled for the Easter holidays, so I'll have a good amount of time to get the routine sorted. I'm not a fan of routine but I think we've got ourselves into such a mess with the sleep that I think we need a routine just to get ourselves right again.

My dd loved structure, morning nap, afternoon nap then a short late afternoon nap, this one was the most important, if she didn't have 30mins to 1 hour between 4-5pm she would scream to sleep then wake inconsolable 45mins later, we called it her 45minuter. I would put her in the sling facing in and walk round the park for 30 mins just to get that nap done. It was essential to a good bedtime for her

I promise it will eventually get better but we had months and months of trying XYZ and nothing really helped except the passage of time. Just try to stay patient and focus on the positives...and drink gallons of coffee in the day!

Everyone keeps telling me it'll pass. I really hope so!!!! I find I have no interest in social things, my partner and I are always arguing. Just doesn't feel a good place at the moment

We are in a very similar position! Ds is just shy of 6 months and sleep has deteriorated to what you describe in the last week. I have resorted to feeding him to sleep lying next to me and then rolling away once he is sparko, repeated nearly hourly. I think we are in the 6 month sleep regression and i am just riding it out as best i can. Dh is sleeping on the sofa and my 4yr old dd is watching a ton of tv as I am only just functioning. Ds is feeding non stop so it must also be a growth spurt... only positive is it's helping me lose weight!! Let me know how you get on with the routine. My dd fell into her own routine by this age and slept like a dream so I am feeling a bit clueless...I don't feel I have done much different this time, he just can't get the hang of sleep!

@BentleyBelly so we're on day 1 of our routine. We're half hour behind schedule as he's also learning to self soothe, so the morning nap took a little longer to get sorted. But he's on his lunchtime nap now, and after 10 mins of protesting, he's now asleep!! Fingers crossed it lasts!

Sounds good so far. How are you helping him self settle? That's what we are struggling with, I know when he goes to sleep by himself he sleeps better but at the moment he just cries when put down awake.