? When to have another baby

[madame]

Please any help or advice very welcome.....

I am 36yrs and have one dd 20 months, I would like to have another baby I think.... but find just one quite hard work even though I love her very much.Is it because she is at that stage of into everything and pushing all the boundries? I don't like the idea of her being an only child for some reason and therefore think in the long run having 2 is the right thing for us as a family. My husband also would really like another one but he works very long hours and therefore the bulk of the work would fall with me. He has suggested we could hire help if I needed it.

Its knowing when the time is right, is it easier to leave a gap of a couple more years or have them close together and get those first few years out the way in one go before I get used to sleep again....

any words of wisdom.

Madam

i'm abit concerned about coping when we have 2nd child. we have decided on trying after xmas so there will be 3yrs, well minus 3 months if all goes well. i like the idea of ds due to start playschool a few months after next baby arrives as it will give me a bit of space dealing with the baby and maybe being able to catch on jobs - but who knows if it will happen this way!

It is very encourging people saying it is easier 2nd time round & that you are more relaxed.

Its so nice to get support and kind words. Mrsjohncusack, I hadn't thought about the sleep thing like you have and you must be right.

I just need to now think about what type of support I might need and how to go about getting it, any thoughts.... I work 2 days a week for my own business and then really spread a admin day at home over the week. My dd goes to nursery 2 days a week at the moment. My husband goes out of the door at 6.30 and doesn't get home till dd is tucked up in bed. What kind of help do you think I would gain from?

It may seem premature me thinking about this before even conceiving but I am a control friek and need to have a plan of what will happen if I fall pregnant

what does IME stand for?

IME is 'in my experience'
I honestly think it's better not to think about it TOO much as you can come up with endless excuses and problems. If you really want a second child and have one, you will always manage and it will be worth it. And I do think 0 to 1 children is much harder than 1-2. Not sure what help you need as I do it myself at the moment and my DH is around a lot more than yours, but am sure others can help on that front.
I wanted mine close together because my brother and sister were much older than me and 2 years apart, and I was quite jealous of that, also because DH has had quite a difficult time as an only child. But that's me - everyone is different!