If our babies and toddlers could post on their version of mumsnet about us....

[boo64]

what do you think they'd be complaining about or seeking advice on!??!

my mum is soooooooo unfair..... she always lets ds2 get away with murder and is really hard on me (ds1)
aibu to expect my mum to cater to my every whim and food fad?? (ds2)

Mine'd say something like 'why can't I just eat biscuits all day?' and 'ffs what's the deal with sharing bl**dy toys'

Dd's first thread would be:

"Controlled waking - anyone tried this on their parents?"

DD2 would ask 'why does my mum try to make me wear brown trousers when i this season is all about the fairy dress with wings and a tiara?'

Good one.

How about the 'parent whisperer'- how to freak out, disconnect and generally wind your parents up

"AIBU to expect to be kitted out in Monsoon & Jigsaw & to have lots of pretty high heeled shoes ?"

"Why can't I just eat chocolate & biscuits?"

"Should I hire a cleaner to tidy my room for me?"

'My mother has spent so long arguing on an internet site about the differences between breastfeeding and formula, that i fear i'm becoming weak with dehydration!'

How can I get them to stop giving me these vegetable things and start giving me more ice cream?

ds2 (16 months) on 'am I being unreasonable?'- last night i started screaming at 1am. it took dm at least 2 mins to get up and have a look what was wrong with me. at that point i was standing straight up in bed, banging my head against the bars. i then got some milk, but she thought she could put me down after a short feed.... well think again. is it really that unreasonable to expect an all you-can-eat-all-night-long experience?>

ds1 (3.4) on 'food'- tonight dm made macaroni-cheese. she thought she could disguise the courgettes, and aubergines in there by cutting them up really small.... ha, think again. i managed to "extract" all of them and only ate the sausages, the cheese and the pasta. now what was she thinking

hihi, , i like this thread.

sleep - mum won't hold me to sleep anymore, any tips on getting her to stop putting me in the cot?

or

feed the world - mum expects me to take a bottle when she normally breast feeds. If i keep refusing will she eventually give up?

Products - How do I open the fridge?

Food - Why does DM not understand that if I throw something on the floor I don't want more of it.

Cloth nappies - which do you think feels nicer? Tots bots or Motherease?

Birth Announcements - Helllloooo, I'm here! Bloody hell, that was weird

Book Club - Okay I've read 'That's not my Train' and 'That's not my Dinosaur' - is it worth getting 'That's not my Kitten' or is it the same old, same old?

Ok I've heard dm say she is going to start potting training soon. How do I cause maximum chaos and p*ss everywhere as much as possible? When would be the optimal time to do a poop in my pants to make her life as difficult as can be?

Any tips/advice on getting mum to chill? She has been telling me off all day despite my cheeky grin...I only helped to clean the bathroom with the toilet brush, poured orange juice into my wellies, emptied out the kitchen drawer contents onto the floor, picked out all the nutritious bits from my lunch. I'm really worried her head might explode if she doesn't relax.

AIBU to expect to have sweets and chocolate instead of dinner?

Relationships: My mum doesn't understand me, I'm clearly trying to have an intelligent conversation and all she does is say 'Goo! Yeah thats right!'

AIBU: To expect my mum to not put me down whenever I want a catnap?

But wouldn't most of the responses be 'Have you tried screaming incessantly until she gives in? My DM used to do exactly the same thing until I perfected a trick I like to call "the tantrum". [kicking and screaming emoticon]'

Blowing raspberries on my face, whats that all about??

Grandparents over stimulating or what?

Sleep: How can I wean my DM off needing so much sleep? If left to herself she takes very long naps (sometimes 10pm-7am) and seems extremely grumpy when I wake her up. Will uncontrolled crying help her to do without?

AIBU: Not to want to eat solids?

"Book Club - Okay I've read 'That's not my Train' and 'That's not my Dinosaur' - is it worth getting 'That's not my Kitten' or is it the same old, same old?"

AIBI: that when I point randomly and say 'that!'my mum will instantly know what it is that I want and go and get it for me before I am required to have a tantrum?

anyone else think it's funny to let your mum rock you in her arms for ages and pretend to be asleep and then as soon as she sits down open your eyes really wide?

Go on, try it....sometimes you can make them swear!