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Original poster

Can't take anymore of this.......Where will it ever end?

53 replies

IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 12:57

Once again, we have had to leave the only remaining activity that DS1 oes because of his constant tantrumming. I think we will have to knock that one on the head also.

He is driving me nuts (he's 2.3) He won;t sit still at all, he whinged constantly, he shouts, he gets angry and hits DS2 (who is nearly 7 months) or me for no reason.

I have started to avoid taking him anywhere because it's such a bloody ordeal.

I don;t want to be a prisoner in my own home, but at the same time, I can't face leaving anywhere else in tears because he has been so awful.

I just wish someone would come and take him off me. He's been a nightmare since the day he was born, if I am honest. I hate saying that, but it's true. He's extremely unpleasnt at the moment, and I can't see a way out of it.

I have started to ban TV as muych as possible, and I try and do things withj him, like painting, going to the park, going for walks, swimming, cooking, but they never last more than 2 seconds because he can'tr concentrate on it. He runs round aimlessly mostr of the day, and wont react to any form of punishment/sanction (he thinks time out is a great game and just laughs if you tell him off)

HELP, before I ring bloody Barnardos.

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Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 12:59

He also gets up at 5am most days, and no amount of taking him back to bed/cute little bunny clocks with ears that pop up when it's time to wake up etc have helped

This means my days are extremely long

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 22/03/2007 13:02

Do you have any help? Has he had his developmental checks?

Tortington · 22/03/2007 13:02

boys run around aimlessly

best to make them tired

go to large park or green area - make baby happy and keep baby warm and fed. take a ball or a bike - find a bench with good view.

take chocolate bar for secret munching.

play such fun games as - lets see how fast you can run to that tree ( half a mile away) makrs, set go go GOOOOOO.

SIT DOWN EAT CHOCOLATE BAR NOW

collect flowers or leaves - must give boys missions." please look out for loverly leaves for me. i like beautiful leaves i want to make a beautiful leaf book but i can never find any - can you?

cue industriuos looking for beautiful leaves - you must be selective any old shite leaf won't do. be honest.

Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 13:05

We do go to the park quite often to ghunt for pine cones etc, but that ;lasts for 3 mins before he;s buggered off somewhere.

He had a check about 2 months or so ago. He's always been a livewire, but I do worry about him.

OP posts:
Lact8 · 22/03/2007 13:06

IGW hugs to you because I know just how sh*t they can make you feel

I have had very similar experience with DS2 who has made it to the age of 3, much to my surprise considering how often I wanted to do a Homer Simpson on his neck!

A friend got me a book called How to raise your spirited child. off amazon, can't remember author and although it was quite american I really identified a lot of DS2s behaviour.

DS2 is like a whirlwind, very fast, constantly changing his mind about what he wants to do, very wearing.

But he has got better.

The book really helped me change my way of thinking about DS2

Anything is worth a try!

Also, we have dd who is 1 now and he reacted really badly to her arrival and for a while she took the brunt of his displeasure but that has improved too ( especially since she can wallop him back now!)

Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 13:08

Hes generally very loving (if a little possesive) with DS2. I can usually leave them together mometarily while I go to the loo or something without worrying. However, it's when he's cross that he smacks/bites DS2 or myself.

He can be lovely, but it's not ver often.

I feel crap saying bad things about a 2 year old, but I struggle with him so much

OP posts:
twinniemum · 22/03/2007 13:08

Hi, have you tried a sticker chart? Praising his good behaviour, giving him a sticker for completing an activity? I found this worked with my boys.
xx

ScummyMummy · 22/03/2007 13:09

Is there anything he likes doing?

Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 13:12

He like plying with his trains, but that never lasts very long because he gets bored easily. That's about the only thing I can think of that he likes doing for more that a few minutes.

He will also sit and watch Thomas the Tank engine for hours at a time, but I donlt like him watching too much TV, so this is reserved for those times when I could throttle the little bugger, or if I feel he needs to calm down a bit, or sit quietly

Sticker cahrts have varying degrees of success. Sometimes they work great, and others, he starts kicking off because he wants the sticker NOW and will beat the floor with his fists until he gets it

OP posts:
Lact8 · 22/03/2007 13:14

I found that making a visual chart of our day really helped DS2 understand that we were doing things and that they would be lasting a certain amount of time.

When he'd gone to bed I'd draw very basic pictures of breakfast, clothes, toothbrush, bus, library, shop, etc and then cut them out.

In the morning, I'd plan the day with him, letting him glue the pictures on in the right order and them he would know what to expect and it helped him to cope with what was coming next through out the day. Also I could say we have to do this now, look it says so on the chart and he seemed to accept that better than me just telling him

Do you ever get a break from being with him?

crazylazydaisy · 22/03/2007 13:15

My dd2 came out crying and tantrumming and only really stopped when she went to preschool and HAD to learn to listen to other adults without me there. Is there a pre-school that takes them from 2? I know you will have to pay but even one morning a week is a breather for you.
I would never have believed anyone who told me this at the time she was like that, but she has turned out to be the most sensitive of my children - she's 11- and is highly intelligent. I think my attitude of thinking she was just sent to try my life rubbed off a bit on her and i feel guilty for that, but 11 years ago i didnt have all these progs to give advice. I hope you find something to give you a break xx

Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 13:16

Not really. DP is home at weekends etc, but I donlt really get any proper time away. We can't afford nurseries etc and there's nobody else who can have him really, so I'l have to make do I suppose.

I like the idea of planning the day Lact8. I might try that

OP posts:
Lact8 · 22/03/2007 13:17

Anywhere near Wales? I'll give you a break

Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 13:19

No, I'm in Bath. But bless you for offering

I wouldn't wish DS1 on anyone to be perfectly honest

OP posts:
BigEggLittleEgg · 22/03/2007 13:19

No advice really just wanted to say hope things get better for you. DS has his moments when I threaten to call Brad and Angelina, but they fortunately are few and far between. He also laughs when I do tell him off, and the more I tell him off, the louder he laughs, but he is only 13 months and I was hoping this was just a "phase". .

Lact8 · 22/03/2007 13:19

DP faffng with PC nwo and booting me off for a few hours

Hope the rest of the afternoon goes ok for you
Take care

yeahinaminute · 22/03/2007 13:20

Oh IGW

Right - you're off to the wedding this weekend arent you?

OK - so how about the weekend after come up - I'll take him to the park with DD - you just loll around with DS2 my DH and your DP- I'll cook dinner - and you chaps can stay over - much wine may be imbibed !!

Also why don't you start him at WASPs nursery - in the High St asap - and don't forget you can get what is it ? 3 or 4 free sessions a week when he's 3 ??

He's a lovely little chap - but from what i can gather from friends with boys pretty much like all of them !!

crazylazydaisy · 22/03/2007 13:20

The planning the day and telling ds is a great idea. Some children are happy to go with the flow, but children like we have like to know what they are doing and when. She is like that in school hols, wanting to know what we are going to do. Wish i had tried that one when she was tiny!!!

Lact8 · 22/03/2007 13:20

LOL IGW, have said the same about DS2 myself!

Mum2FunkyDude · 22/03/2007 13:23

My sister teaches remedial school to high achievers with almost zero concentration abilities, I know from talking to her sometimes that diet could be a strong influence in concentration and hyperactivity. Maybe you can ask your GP for a referral to have him tested for some food in tolerances?

Just a shot in the dark really. Also, it might help you to actually note how much time he really spends on an activity, you might feel that it's super short when in fact it is just normal?

HTH

Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 13:24

Oh bless you yiam. That sounds lovely. (We have something on on the Saturday afternoon, but it's only until 4) We have a walk to plan too, don;t foget

DS1 is now spark out upstairs, so I will get drawing. I think I just needed a moan and a cup of coffee. (I'd have chocolate too, but I have a big arse that I want to be rid of)

pmsl at calling Brad and Angelina. I think even they would baulk at DS1, bless his little heart.

OP posts:
prampusher · 22/03/2007 13:27

poor you intergalactic walrus... you sound like things are tough at the moment - just want to send you a big hug... NOT good to get stuck in the house... I did a bit some months back and it's such a bad idea. bad bad for the soul... have you got a friend with a child a similar age you could do swaps with? Ie they take yours and you take theirs... sometimes a change can be a good thing for kids and something they see as a fun adventure. they might behave differently with your friend? afterall what's frustrating for you will make you feel unhappy which then passes on to DS. well just an idea... you sound like you need a well deserved break... sorry if this is no help but just wanted to say something. xx

yeahinaminute · 22/03/2007 13:29

Right that's a plan - come up to us on the Saturday afternoon - I'll keep the little buggers amused - will rope in some other kids!

I'll get a decent dinner on, chuck 'em all in the bath, settle them down and bob's your uncle Fanny's your dad's sister

Original poster
IntergalacticWalrus · 22/03/2007 13:33

Sounds good to me.

Will double check with DP and let you know later, if that's ok

OP posts:
BigEggLittleEgg · 22/03/2007 13:34

Ah glad i raised a smile with Brad and Ange. Also threatened with Madonna briefly. If DS really winds me up and I get a bit down, I imagine something terrible happening to him (disease / car crash etc ) and it makes me realise how much he means to me, even in the throes of a tantrum. Sounds a bit harsh I know but can make you more grateful for what you have. I am not by ANY means implying you are not grateful, I cant imagine how hard it must be with a "difficult" DS1 and a baby DS2 to contend with as well, anyone with more than one child gets a lot of admiration from me ! Actually, anyone who has even managed to survive one is pretty impressive.